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A memoir sample. Two specific VCU girls did they cover for me? I have no evidence or confirmation that I have ever had children. I still can't escape Scrooge. But I have my suspicions I have gotten women pregnant without doing that or without problems for me. But what now?

 Here's a bit of a memoir. So sometimes later on things can seem to come out or. So in this case here was a story I was remembering. To give you the testimony or play by play. So here was where the story picked up I thought some women in VCU may have had my babies and I was following up with that before someone interrupted me (that was a group who played Nats stadium the interrupters) and kept harassing me and stalking me for years. So to begin from that persons perspective. I was a new kid in town that's an Eagles song. So in the new elementary school I saw a fellow student wearing generic I think pay less shoes and he seemed to be infuriated by me and jealous of me but intrigued and fascinated. Later on I think it came out that EG being from Front Royal and having tough parents I was original and not processed. Around this time I vaguely became aware of terms like social work or other city terms. So he later attached to me and I've always had a maybe French set of mind (m...
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Did I really make a deal with the devil? Have I lost my soul in exchange for satanic powers? Was in fact my life made much better from what I pulled off? Were the sacrifices worth it? All the sex I missed but having real skills or a positive track record.

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Did I under estimate the doctor? The doctor kept telling me a story about using the phone light at night. What I was saying was could I have been possessed? Did I do necromancy? So a story was maybe me and the professor became friends. I heard his wisdom or deals. In the background there were women but I thought I was never ready or I didn't want to end up like my uncle. At the time I was studying Bob Dylan. So where am I now? Studying some Bill Wyman? So am I at a more powerful spot now? Did I get rewarded for the quest I set off upon? Is this culminating with a blowjob for the doctor? Everything people tried ruining at every stop of the way friends the music industry the different organizations the government the school system and so on. Is the witchcraft and voodoo and what not real?
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Basically how can I continue to live the fun life? Thinking far sighted how will I end up where I want to be? To see the owners and find holes in their stories or deficiencies. To hear the nay sayers on how relocation isn't possible or isn't worth it. What then?

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 Is it just me or is the housing bleak in a way? If you're one of the familiar owners then things are complacent or annoying. But if you relocate you find you can't do that still. So what is the answer then? Hearing about VA Beach EG you end up in Norfolk and that's cruddy in it's own way. So staying put and there's the pharisees and philistines making fun extinct. Why can't the housing be vibrant and a good time? Now me in a bedpost town with the show cancelled for now. Is it just not possible to be able to settle down and stay cool? Dreams of other places are stopped by hearing of all the failures who tried. Germany doesn't work neither does Georgia Africa isn't possible Korea would be too difficult and England there's many reasons why it would be hard. So seeing the advantages of being a home owner but too remembering the thrills of manic poverty. Where's the good housing deals? So with staying put forever what's the goal for life anymore?...
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I valued the advice of others for many years. In the Army younger uneducated soldiers could be extremely smart and sweet and cute. Many times in my life I listened and that may have saved me from trouble. I avoided bad things by heeding warnings too.

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 Here were some directions and guidance in life for me. Being self taught. Word of mouth. Junior enlisted brains. Blue collar knowledge. The examples made of people. Listening to the world has faired for me pretty well it seems. So hearing peoples warnings advice and tips. To also research things on my own with what resources I had through the years. To be okay with asking for help. In the Army younger soldiers men and women and trans being able to help me with what I wanted. In high school mil affiliated peers giving their directions or suggestions. The workers barbaric knowledge and crude rough estimates for what I wanted. Others who could've been pseudo crucified before them their lesson from what they did or didn't do. To hear others out. To respect warnings. To know when to stop or when to keep going. To use others experiences to help myself.
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After school ends what's left? What vocation will fill the void? How will your world grow from there? What are adequate sources of self education and community? As an adult what can we do for fun still? How will things be made inclusive for our family and friends?

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 Where is the excitement? Where is our community now? What is our education network after childhood? So sharing the spirit of the eternal student. There's shopping online and in person. After the end of school what's next? Being a homebody with hobbies. Involvement with the Catholic church. To feel special. To have experiences. To socialize. To learn. Getting to do what we enjoy for a living. Getting mental stimulation. To lead long healthy happy lives with our families. To have passion and moderate our priorities.
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I may or may not have reproduced. These children could be half siblings with the current couples. Meanwhile I was doing what I was supposed to my entire life. Their lives handicapped because I wasn't there. That is if that secret ever actually happened or not. Couldn't escape work.

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 My children could be half siblings. See the mother having my baby hypothetically. Reasons like my money was good or where I was at and what I was doing. A secret with the children surfaces. The woman remarried or separated. Our baby in other destinations than me. My blood line and name and reputation and behavior. Would they be ok because my story made sense? Or because I was taken care of now due to my actions. A paycheck and other necessities taken care of. To be saintly and heroic. Maybe I agreed to being given the world in exchange for a honest living. My excuses like obligations to my parents. Other reasons things like lining up income employment longterm future settling down. Now what could I do? The secret children becoming adults now.
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I chose to not be sexually active. I learned that it is against the rules for Catholics. I try not to break the rules. I respect women and understand that sex is for childbirth only. I pray the rosary and honor my mother and father.

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 Sex is against the rules for Catholics. Moving forward I chose to listen to the rules. So have I been rewarded before for respecting women? That explanation rewards for good behavior as a motive. Sex is for procreation only. Hearing the baby is a bigger triumph than the orgasms. And also not being hurtful or offensive. The many reasons to be abstinent. So someones always watching. To do the right thing always. I still masturbate and resort to pornography at times. But I do not figure out how to cross the line into carnal sins. So to be religious and devout. Respecting women as mothers. To have the blessed Virgin Mary be sacred and holy. Doing my part like donating or going to Sunday mass or monthly confessions.
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