blake uptin

 to have a sense of humor so that contrast and that element um to be funny to be self deprecating even to make a spin on your work with something laugh inducing um that perspective and insight so having a good time with what you love your hobbies so when i am presenting my material i could think to do something comical with it like a painting that's childish or to play music that's realistic or comedic so to paint something ghetto to sing awfully and to do that in the presentation of it as a movie maker to be funny when recording so the jokes being able to see others points being able to palette the material right for others the soundcheck so knowing your audience knowing what some people will find entertaining and amusing and enjoyable not being annoying seeing how good of a job you can do to see how strong your skills are to see how talented you can be and then from there adding the funny element to change directions and do something new um the performance too the stand up th...

 so finding out that my publishing wouldn't become viral or accepted instead it could be isolated and rejected um all the projects i had the authorities and the system to get removed ejected no more friends or any networks really to be outcast so some influences a christmas carol tropic of cancer the catcher in the rye bukowski all those famous college lit names my modern release just spewing text and content um little summaries to each story that being shown to be miserly to be a free spirit to be a poet the sense of community to have people to hang out with so things that later get moderated or censored no more being a teenager no more partying then later changes meds insurance a mortgage new responsibilities to be accountable so philip k dick the scifi stuff his editor his final copies um being on ssdi um the later sense of humor about it um so the source material others plagiarism others input and response um the years spent doing that getting better at it the lesson you can...

 so basically later concluding that the sources of joy can come from vices masturbation substance abuse gambling i think those are the big ones but the downside to the vices is lots of bad stuff can happen that can be regrettable and troublesome so basically what i'd say is somewhat of an answer would be food or hobbies that's about all that's really out there so there's lots of hobbies out there that you can sort of progress with and have a good time with without much trouble no cops or other risks so when you get older things change things that used to work don't work forever there can be parts like being lawful or getting medical help to have to be moderated so no more marijauna no more drinking no more events really that's in the past now so enjoying being a painter getting art supplies having a spot to work from a little studio to think of cool stories like laird hamilton a pro surfer who keeps going when he gets older he does that all the way and cool stuf...

so here's a little bit of a testimonial i had a very 'refined' exposure to some 'illegal' drugs and some unrepeatable once in a lifetime experiences so the drug dealers truly knew what they were doing really catering to me and grooming me up there was when i set out instead of getting a bachelor's degree instead to truly master some hobbies i had whether that was rock and roll or writing a book so 'living the dream' or having some real life lessons about entertainment or a calling so these drug dealers really did some good jobs at times there was me smoking cigarettes drinking booze and then having some money to get high on marijuana while i advanced with other stuff creativity originality comedy guitar fashion i fortunately didn't really have any legal trouble and i took it pretty far um also there was exposure to other stuff like modern cryptocurrency or legal money laundering where you can be financially successful and smart about what works so th...

 above all what i am is my parents son with them married so foolishly and ignorantly i thought of different 'heroes' whom i didn't know the full story to so some more of that was after learning more about them their being 'deal breakers' about them like divorces at the end a later answer was to be like scrooge and think of my parents like business partners or some married family who stays together while i am miserly and make progress through the years um the cratchit family and the marley family um so putting more into thinking of that and doing my part where i can going along with the family company being there for office hours um wearing business clothes um going to meals with my parents or walking over for a meal sticking together so backing down from some ideas i had not being a professional guitarist or keeping some hobbies at bay not going full time with them and pluses to that too things i might not have known about all of them 'permanently homeless music...

 so would america be better if there was a draft anyways a story i thought was cool was the korean pop boy band bts they had to go in the military because of the korean laws about serving your country to respecting and admiring that even as celebrities they still have to do their duty anyways it's just something different and i can understand and believe all the excuses why it wouldn't work but there's the other side too where i believe it could be good like a no child left behind thing where everyone get pulled up to a good position there's thinking of the cool side to the military too like the different branches marines air force navy army and how each branch has it's own culture and style um and then too the veterans after the military their professionalism and displays so the cool stuff like the elvis presley the whole country coming together and the warm good feelings the entertainment too the elvis movies and his whole electric amplified life rock and rolll no...

 the last chapter how much fun those washington dc live music events were so it was even when they were sold out all that prepping and follow up with it those nights those beers those drivers taking me to the capital that phase of my life so it was going to my parents office during office hours after i quit online school after making the dean's list um it was when i had my first house so there were different drivers alexandria yellow top metro access uber thinking that mind mapping would greatly help me some day other times when i was in high school and my friend would drive me to fredericksburg for metal shows when the myspace site was around um thinking that helped me out with later vcu and college later stuff like municipal waste or iron and wine the fact that i was able to do it for that short period of time my health and also getting in so later getting some merch how many band shirts i had and later donating my whole t shirt collection to charity to the am vets on sherwood ha...

 how much does race really matter so some of that would be like seeing exaggerated stuff with others hearing blacks say how they'd not really be given the same leniency as opposed to someone white like things people do drugs for example so there's other stuff out there too hearing of the term 'racial profiling' so if you don't catch the window for romance it might just pass by and you could be seen as someone seeking 'white booty' um though the downsides to marriage but the good parts too respecting and understanding it and all it entails that commitment so seeing stuff with others little trends or characteristics like seeing some half black people and maybe noting their zero tolerance or even noticing some races sexual successes as opposed to for example white male 'wankers' logically concluding at masturbation so noting too that people can completely turn you down after public school and community sponsored activities you can be rejected for not be...

ok so the sale the 'product' so basically hobby supplies and approachable within reach concepts so some of it being 'artschool' habits so the hip world of maintaining your regular life and being an artist realistic projects that you can enjoy in your studio den or station picture yourself taking some photos making a home movie of a family gathering painting something you visualized riding a longboard down something not difficult um recording yourself playing piano and doing vocals writing some manuscript and publishing it online ride a bicycle go for a walk to stay healthy make it like a poster do no error genius content make a pharmacy photo order for a poster that looks like a screen saver or better um get merch made of your stuff be original collaborate with other creatives socialize and network see what is feasible so having the mind to dream up new material to be a stand up comic to be a painter so using a sketchbook going for a walk playing an instrument blogging ...

so i am being lawful and accepting the moderators moderation so some of that is my caregiver telling me not to snack as much so some of that would be thus waking up for breakfast to have that meal um so not putting on more weight my excuse would be the drugs side effects make me hungrier and not really fighting it so how to counter it maybe start waiting until the next morning to eat instead of watching as i get fatter i already went up a size to now being at 2xl so my conclusion is to heed warnings of how things would go out of control so using the caregiver program um to try to adjust to some requests though others seeming maybe pointless like the getting a job for example i don't think i'd line up for a retirement anymore um all those good snack foods out there chips egg salad frozen dinners beef jerky deli meat ramen nachos pickles canned soup pho with sriracha but listening about some of the suggestions though at times i think it can be pointless like not possible the side...

instead thick skin so the public stigma from some to be with my parents but other times where it's a great idea so things like not wanting my life without them or too seeing how them without me could be bleak and depressing so both sides symbiotically winning however seeing some people i assume are parents and them wanting their kids backs so some riffs that can come up like them leaving for college and if they'll come back again or other issues the employment how many can do mom and pop shops so a good memory for my was my uncle him with my grand dad so some of that would be him not being sensitive if someone were to make a joke him just eating it and going on fine and dandy and the cool side with that when i'd see him at family gatherings him getting there early and having a healthy appetite to put in on the banquet spreads for everyone i am glad i am not a orphan so how many people wish they had things that i do so another was thinking of great formal things i've had...

 so some stuff i don't do as much or at all anymore um thinking to maybe exit some of these things for reasons like avoiding 'pseudo injuries' or another being getting complaints and the cops called on me um thankful for all that i accomplished on the way so the good memories and the good times but then again thinking there'd be some comeback again someday some new material some return um to think of other names like when john f returned to the red hot chili peppers or others when tiger woods kept playing another was henry miller that really getting my mind at times to think of the censorship being a 'banned book' making it on retirement pay and disability having paychecks and the bohemian stuff too different day dreams um so inching along still having some small ember lit some small hope to keep doing what i can without any troubles the life without that stuff as much anymore but then little b-sides little side projects homemade cassette tapes or when i'd d...

 georgia mornings so that experience tradoc (the army training division) too um remembering the early morning formations being so cold being so sleep deprived and borderline delusional (before later i'd lose my mind a little) um all those great meals at the dfac (dining facility) so truly being a part of the program that being my entire life formations um and seeing a different new land times around augusta the cracker barrel the down town the seedy places the places that sold spice the car lots it being a 'arm pit' city by the base much later when my parents came and visited me the barracks the book i was writing before getting shipped off to germany and staying in a hotel before catching my flight seeing the different demographics a wide range of people in the army young people old people whites blacks asians hispanics puerto ricans when i quit masturbating for a while life in the uniform my pt clothes and my acu's my boots so the daily routines when it was radio scho...

 here it is the dark marijuana times of freshman year ok so i landed at the very top floor of a 17th story building i had a switch of roommates my next one was a guy from oceanside new york a neighborhood we'd visit one day he was a art school student and jewish um not that that matters like me being 'korean' we'd had somewhat of a bond like when i found a past high school older guy who could hold us down with a place to smoke and some stuff um times tagging along with him his academics we had to find the party so starting off with the frat stuff (i was so bottled up with end of teenage energies) but then he dug and burrowed his way into finding weed (and later hearing stories of others getting busted and me being one of the few to mostly get away though hearing people tattled on me too) and starting off that lifestyle so some of that trying to get enough weight where you could smoke for free or even a little profit before the later statewide legalization so then losing...

 maybe i'm thinking of getting married despite all the trouble i see with that some symbiosis between all parties and more peace and peace alternatives like a plantain being similar to a banana so some sense of humor on it to and maybe some other cultures like indians gays and then ramble about others blacks jews puerto ricans catholics families parents cousins substance abusers wankers british europeans germans so a story was 'poor friend chicken nugget' some of that story was a platonic helper who'd be there may be even think of entourage characters doing odd jobs cleaning managing driving so the story was my cousin visiting me and him appreciating little things i didn't focus on as much to be able to keep going with my projects to keep making films taking photos and even playing music to have a person to help manage me with that in addition to my parents as my caregivers um but then other stuff questioning my mortality jack kerouac stuff so it's like i have s...

 i saved the day so rewind it was when i was in college not just me but most of the people i knew seemed to be in a little 'financial' trouble so now joe biden did his student loan forgiveness plan which seems to have rescued many greatly from that seemingly irreversible hardship so what's next what i thought would be logical would the previous students graduate or not would then release their learnings to the public so that being like making the education thing seem accessible to all but too some grooming and domestication on it having being reasonable on both sides so some more of it um there was the drugs which another big democrat side was the marijauna is now legal though not federally so where do we go now um there was other stuff i thought could be happening a little bit of les miserables the french revolution the students and the government so sharing that stuff how to maybe like my blog recommend some intellegencia to others a book a movie a album some of that mayb...

 my business company my first franchise location so what all do i really sell um fantasy stuff dungeons and dragons campaign parties um university the college trip um another there's the cafe lounge experience a connection and social platform  then there's the base of being a place that has good service good 'product' um the look of when i worked those 'dead end' jobs but then the other side being the manager or the 'entrepreneur' and building a solid company and always improving it so what all is there there's alternatives to marijuana gambling and booze so other ways of achieving that affect um the hobbies too all that so the rush to the brain the joys of accumulating a portfolio the coziness of your pad and more alternatives instead of tobacco cigarettes the artschool effect on it more um the chowhall the barracks or the dorms or the cafeteria so the townie style the look of bicyclists the hipsters presented in formats accessible to others dorks n...

 so a big gay time not some perverted mindset so no don't get me twisted rather some unison for all to come together to establish some world peace and common good and karma for everyone like a u2 music video or some parade with everyone included and involved so like when despite the world seeming cruel and evil some light of hope shining through continuously some beacon of heroic good um it'd be like just enough for even the less fortunate to get through some charity and stretching that out to make it through tough times to believe it and see it happen to get to the ones who need it most all the soldiers doing good for the country so this universal benefit that actually works when it was tolkien with the lord of the rings and there'd be the evil trying to take over but the good forces that be stopping it the hobbits elves humans dwarves those helping and all the fun with these stories all the good swings and uplifted hearts when there's big plays and theatre shows like ...

 so a memory back to an older time when it was me lounging with coeds while flunking out of undergrad so there's the liveliness of the campus and there's the socializing and later introducing some of the gals to the dealers people wanting to get high on cannabis um now it's gone and maybe for the better how much toilet that'd require for me and some other babes um but the fun of it when it was the 'manic' joy to be so poor and destitute but so happy and elated as someone experiencing so much freedom and fun the party never ended every morning it'd be the next thing one after another so the new days sunlight all the thrills out there and when i had to find ways of supporting myself to be a restaurant host on minimum wage before obama came around all that fun condensed into such a small period of time to go from one thing to the next and the hot spots when it was the dorms or the cafeteria or when it was spooning to sleep with different women every night and g...

 ok so the other day i heard some kennedy center ad saying something about teacher appreciation and i thought i'd participate and share some kind words about my undergrad actually to be honest these past years since the army at thanksgiving when we say what we are thankful for i have really been thankful for getting to go to vcu it was what i've actually said a few times was that it was one of the best times of my entire life as far as fun too ok so the whole visual um i was in my apartment i had innumerous connections for socializing my life was one fun thrill to the next but so his lectures were really helpful and powerful to learn about media or communication like the phones history the english the literature the references john donne anthony kiedis the watchmen bob dylan um so the office hours when i was manic or the other stuff back then when i was going to set out to write a great novel to write the great american book like f scott fitzgerald and the lost generation hemin...