blake uptin

 here's some stuff i was thinking about following up with and buying and things to continue buying outdoor basketball hoop from walmart skateboarding shoes and a complete skateboard in my size vinyl records an acoustic bass guitar paying the catholic poor box going to the birchmere nightclub miniatures any toys or misc art supplies canvases when i run out groceries bills utilities electric water mortgage insurance whether or not to get more books to read after i finish what i have

 i am still in germany so i got stationed there with the us army in maybe 2009 or so um it was insane it was a whole new world it was completely different than america i feel like me and a lot of veterans get 'frozen' at different eras at a younger age formative years so it was crazy europe the barracks the city the countryside the technology a 'developing country' things not always working taking a turkish driven taxi speeding to the brothel being with underage german girls the sobriety my first unit so now being european influenced the english the british the deutschlanders tea when i created my own 'television' to watch my blog my videos my youtube to still see that city when i was 19 years old going to the discotheques partying too also a huge one was learning the rolling stones keith and bill wyman the flat the hotel an acoustic guitar rock and roll black influences later rod stewart a soccer player the age play a late bloomer so wild horses honky tonk woma...

ok so at my worst i think i had potential to end up like john frusciante of the red hot chili peppers so some of it was you hear of how an octopus can be smart so there's not leaving the lifestyle i was in while dropping out of a known art school where would i have gone so i think i avoided sodomy so some of this was i quickly was surprised to learn how many gay men were out there so also things were escalating i was warned i'd be introduced to heroine which i fortunately avoided so i decided to listen to my family and others and join the army so maybe a downside was getting exposed to 'brain washing' in a way or the indoctrination so there was the tremendous rewards from doing that i got retired and disabled too all types of bad stuff that could've happened in addition to being completely fruitless i think i heard of john frusciante cross dressing at one point and also prostituting himself out for drugs so what if none of my projects never made it after all there w...

 'that last part what he did was just foul' so here's some thoughts on the music industry i can't really leave it as a comment on the venue because it'll get taken down for whatever reason um so i do have history and i thought some rapport through those years of that so it's like i go to the club and then quickly realize i have to immediately spend money in order to not have horrible things happen like being ridiculed or barred (but then again completely understanding that for a business owner host how annoying people can be) the advertised as ticket is never that in real life and there's all types of hassles with it other guests trying to ruin my day so thinking about this those whole underworlds of people who don't go to the shows look at the drug users so having seen these people not get treated well then there's other parts like standing in the front with a speaker giving you hearing damage the riffraff neglected the uneducated shunned for exampl...

 i am a charming useful poetic grifter who you enjoy to be around i can paint and have lots of talents (need a tattoo idea) i am like a radiant gypsy who you may entertain as a guest and share your kindness and generosity with while being compensated with phenomenal company and other pleasantries i have lots of insight and ways of making your life better just from being around me i can talk and we can have great thoughts shared and new ideas to even follow up with we can have nice things unravel from british tea to german beer and rock and roll to more of that korean barbeque french cafes frugal miserliness artschool habits health methods military training i have the time to pursue fun things like reading good books or listening to good music researching interests black blues guitarists the rolling stones peoples discographies i ooze genius and can detect tannins and palettes to be improved upon as a connoisseur tasteful insights i have my own style and charm with what i bring to t...

 ok so 'poorer eyes' i've mentioned this before basically for example in luray going to the store and seeing people who get by they might have a car that's older or i wonder where they live the trailers that grit and charm the cool side and even some of the 'trashy' stuff being endearing harsh cheap answers chicken wings pickled eggs how much fun it was the times i've had exposure to my cousin this last visit in the winter him being next door to my brother in the downstairs bedroom tobacco in virginia um microwaving food making it really zapped and overheated then letting it cool down and savoring and appreciating it really cherishing it so the poverty being reversed and the riches of life shown friendships hobbies pastimes dreams goals so making do getting some blue collar fashion and wearing it out carhartt tractor and supply wrangler dickies that durability it lasting a long time and fitting good enough maybe a little baggy levis the cool stuff with count...

 the shopping experience the retail the science behind it so in this case referencing the effect of losing sobriety getting high your change in perception your drunkenness your euphoria alcohol cannabis cocaine lsd heroine cigarettes these in your system so while staying clean how can you achieve that affect the other options out there fantasy role playing games getting lost in dungeons and dragons another being the nfl the whole season until the superbowl that finale and climax so when it feels like a movie when you're out of it when you're buzzing the southern charm cheap maverick cigarettes when it's bob dylan visuals the albums the effects of merch people participating funny faces and good answers the parade like stuff the community the hallucination to spiral into a dream to have your senses change to have heightened observations hunger sight smell hearing listening to a good pressing of something seeing something that impacts you a movie with a tear jerker soft spot m...

 the sleep over so lounging with a friend me being single and available to get married (and start af amily hopefully have a son or two) or have a connection um a good picture was if my parents have to move in with me some day them having a bedroom in the back and making my house more cozy and warm to think of when it was grand dad and my uncle the dog really being a huge help him as a companion so other stuff in the background being a guitar player and the later advances with that the formalities and luxuries so me with my hobbies and that lifestyle then having connections to interact with even collabs so the artistic way um long days with ample free time being a rebel not an outlaw because i am not breaking any laws (staying out of trouble too not being dumb though maybe a little foolish) but being censored being banned so having a guest at my estate the groceries at home the place stocked tea snacks the freezer the fridge the pantry so staying up having the option of cable televi...