blake uptin

 I used to be a fully open book. Now I've decided to have some privacy. I thought there can be people out there who are just plain malicious and don't have my best interest in mind. I lasted a while with my public airing of my celebrity lifestyle. There's probably things I've said that could make me look foolish. It'd take too long to set everything to private. Rather than lose all that material I left some of it up. I don't know why people want to hurt me but they do stuff like that often and anonymously. I don't know the motives for these bad behaviors. Rather than continue I've stepped out of the lime light. Was I an internet celebrity for a while? Maybe some bad viewers ruined it for everyone and thus I backed down and took a lot of it down. Wasn't what I had nice while it was there? I did it with integrity and for free. It was quality home made material. Remember the old Nesbitt show?

 Here were some of the basises for friendships that I have learned and experienced: weed I was with the stoners before seeing all the 420 friendly paraphernalia  money how many times were there sugar daddies or sugar mammas or that dynamic someones generosity being a foundation for friendship see a boss paying you for a service or job music I definitely remember being apart of the various music scenes from merch to live nightlife when it was DC Birchmere Fredericksburg the list goes on alcoholism see the spiral of the bars and drinking in general seeing it in others others caught in that vicious loop of getting drunk substance abuse in general I've seen the heroine users before and fortunately wasn't introduced to it but there's the junkies and the druggies see cigarettes those conversations university see the college towns see the parties and the drop outs see places like Richmond with VCU Harrisonburg with JMU Front Royal with Christendom Alexandria with NOVA community co...

 A deep value that was instilled in me in the army was I will never leave a fallen comrade. With that I feel like I have an obligation to my parents. I revolve around them for both of our best case scenarios. I would be devastated if something bad were to happen like divorce. I've had fantasies of other things before like relocation or hobbies but those were never as high a priority as sticking together. I keep coming back to my parents and me as a source of business and joy. I feel like it's like a law to be there for them. I remember them raising me up and being there for me my whole life. I feel like by my being there we can avoid bad outcomes. I feel like being in the background can contribute to our good futures. I eat basically all my meals with them to stay tight. I also go to weekday mass every chance I get and pray the rosary there. I remember all the times my parents have helped me. I remember growing up and being a boy and living in their house. I am thankful I got t...

 Does my military service give me an exemption from having married or tried to have kids? What I mean is how many military relationships seem almost completely doomed? Because I joined the Army and did what I was supposed to do I now have an excuse on that topic? I had to make my whole life the Army until I got out. I had to go in so I could get money to pay off my student loan. My time was spent in formations and doing PT so I could pass my PT tests. I have been doing what I was supposed to for my entire life. No breaks. Were there times women may have had my babies during this? I don't think I really had any options. I had to do my job in the Army rather than be punished otherwise. I've seen my dads friends have issues and learned from their problems. When all those opportunities were there I never really could meet the requirements. I didn't want to neglect my parents. I had to think of my brother and other family. I wasn't making enough money to stay afloat. Now it...

  Welcome computer smartphone and internet users. Here's a list of social media sites I am aware of: Facebook - log in or sign up Instagram x.com Trending topics on Tumblr Nextdoor LiveJournal: Discover global communities of bloggers who share your unique passions and interests. YouTube xvideos https://www.blogger.com/ LinkedIn: Log In or Sign Up DeviantArt - The Largest Online Art Gallery and Community https://mail.google.com/ Electronics, Cars, Fashion, Collectibles & More | eBay That's about all there really is. Additionally how many are actually used by people or not? I have media I've shared before. To engage with others and have a network. Comments friend requests likes picture uploads videos tags etc. Here are some additional sites I have not used that I am aware of: TikTok - Make Your Day Less social media. More Snapchat.

 I am not really a social worker (former PAO though) but what really network is there now? My parents and I will walk Costco sometimes and pick up some stuff. I guess I tried the music nightlife scenes before. Then there's being a practicing Catholic. There's the issue I see with my brothers kids for the debate of college or not. The con being the debt but the pro being the experience. Where's some form of good time for us moving forward? After school ends what's really left? Dad runs his game night and that's exciting to be around. Furthermore with that there's the quarterly conventions to look forward to. I removed substance abuse from my life permanently I believe. But is that what I really wanted to be alone instead of bogged down with the boys and not enough girls? I believe confessing a big barrier was when in the military some close roommates maybe being against the ongoing party and fun for the rest of civilization. So that being where some stuff may hav...

Did the nightclubs help me? Was at the time being a guitarist my best choice?  Basically were the warnings all true of all the bad things that happen to people? Was everyone telling the truth? So there was the dynamic of the black men. Was I just uncapable of starting a relationship? Was for a while my full time job guitarist? Were the women just going to put me in problematic scenarios? You hear of the problems gay men are aware of domestically. You see others made examples of them left with regret and anger. You know there's no insurance in relationships. Is it worth it to still try after all? Was I just cornered into a bad spot for a long time? Or was that what others figured was the best thing I could really do from there? See masturbation and being alone and single for a long time. See not getting issues I was weary of like disease divorce or garnishments.

 I was interested in using sex workers. I was ignorant to this trade for a long time. I first learned about prostitutes in Germany. I tried to be a good customer. The other day I told my parents I considered moving to Germany before. They offered a good different option if I was into that. In Nevada prostitution is legal. I thought it could be fun to do that legally. I could arrive at the conclusion of sex workers for a variety of reasons like previous relationship failures. I was flattered to hear my penis was modestly sized. At one point I tried to be a male porn star. Having sex professionally sounds like it could be fun. There could be little tid bits I heard before that could make me desensitized. I heard prostitution is the oldest profession in the bible. I tried centering around things like this before but there were barriers like my parents catholic religion or when I was an alcoholic in the nightlife. I had fantasies of sex being easy and worry free like when I was droppin...

 Basically it seems that there's so many interesting people. But when you reference them there are problems that surface. Details I didn't know. Or a different aspect or person becomes relevant instead. I like comedy thus Jay Leno was cool. But I like sex so John Holmes is great as a porn star. But I am not gay so Monet was a cool painter living in a boat. But I wasn't married so Steve Ditko was cool because he scraped by in comics. Then it always comes full circle back to Dickens. I feel like I have an obligation to my parents and I refuse to derelict from that. My story was I went AWOL so my parents wouldn't commit suicide and so I wouldn't be forced to walk on an IED as was the Obama trend. Also I heard in the race of life I would have a great advantage because I have married parents. So it's easy to have fantasies. Or even to reminisce for the good times. But what now? Now what can I do with the VA check ups and my parents down the street?

 I remember when I'd pick out what I'd do for the night. So I'd look at the different nightclubs events and pick the best one. Black Cat 930 Club Capital One Arena Birchmere O'Shaughnessy's Rock and Roll Hotel. Sometimes I saw that it looked like some people were starting to die earlier than others. Thus I picked Tom Rush as an example. It looked like an old guy who masturbated and was a good guest. So I'd rush and try to be helpful as a client. The Birchmere won that round because I decided I'd rather live than die. I wasn't trying to make you impatient or hurried. Rather I was just trying to be easy going and punctual. I'd get to all my appointments and on time. I'd want to get accepted and in so to speak and that was by doing the things I could. I used to just go down beers and watch the nights pass me by. There were other good pop hits but this one seemed better. To stay alive and keep going as opposed to just dying. I'd wolf down meals a...

 I miss my old youtube and other projects. I miss having my pseudo television show I did. I missed some of the places I was at before. Wurzburg Germany the college town Richmond VA the VCU campus and other places I daydreamed about before. I would have liked to keep producing. But I listened to my parents moderation. Was it partly the VA stopping me from continuing? Was it for my own good health and life to stop? I remember making the Nesbitt family holiday movies. I remember my instagram. I remember my skate videos. I remember my food reviews. But maybe there was something I didn't know that made it not worth it anymore. I didn't know EG Tony Bourdain died early. I can easily fall under others spells and admire others. But I stopped before bad things happened.

 I thought I wanted to do that. But I didn't want my parents divorced. I listened to the reasons not to and stopped. It wasn't worth it anymore. At one point it was fun and a jolly good time. But then it got ruined with the whole thing being just someone with divorced parents. Not wanting to be petty over something so foolish. Being able to listen to reason instead and let it go. I place both of my parents over my rock and roll career. Or was it just a delusion? I don't think it's worth it to have that cataclysmic devastating event happen. Can't we just stick together? There's no point to it. It just ruins it. And there's other versions of it too. I liked the Beatles and John Lennon but not the trivia I later learned about it. I stopped those things to be on the safe side.

Some of my best memories seem to be cannabis infused. Later on thinking that the secret may have been some dosage of marijuana that enhanced everything. Things romanticized like childhood. Everything amplified. I remember living at memaw's house. I remember seeing Munich Germany. I remember the VCU campus. I remember middle school. I remember the first time I smoked weed what that was like. Feeling like I was in a movie. Having a fantasy. Daydreaming. Now I can't do that anymore. I deduce that I must keep my military benefits. Thus it's not worth it to smoke anymore. So those days are gone.

 Does one of my parents have to die? What can I do to stop this? Is this just completely out of my control? Is there no reference that lets both of them live? I googled celebs with married parents and what it said happened to their parents. Which one died earlier and how much earlier. I wish it didn't have to be that way. Basically having to pick one as the favorite. Maybe a mediocre one for both of them was Charles Dickens. It said his dad was sent to a debtors prison. And released from it too. Was that like a metaphor for an old folks home?  It's stressful to think about. It's upsetting that they can't both keep living and doing well. How am I supposed to choose one over the other? I don't know what to do now.

 Admit it we all like being an ahole. It's something innate in our souls that we find joy in making others see triple. It isn't funny if we are the people enflamed. But that's how it is to find some sick joy in tormenting others. I have taken things pretty far myself before. But fortunately thus far I have avoided consequences. I was put next to the paralyzed man in Augusta or I was in a car accident where I flipped a van. But all that aside do I still think it's funny to be evil? Maybe probably definitely absolutely %100. So spilling a secret was hot sauce a way of eliciting that anger in others? I don't know. Maybe scientifically it was like back in the old days when growing up people would hate black people. Was that from fried chicken and hot sauce? Did I learn their secret power? Maybe it's a form of payback or revenge to do that to someone. To enjoy making someone lose it completely because they wronged you. To go out of your way to get them back. Maybe we...

 It'd be nice if not everything was a processed answer. How many times were there things I liked that got ruined by the background check on the references? I would've liked to have done some of that but didn't because I was rational and modestly sane. Maybe it just 'is what it is'. Were there different ways of having things I wanted to happen happen? Or was it just that's how it is. Also to my ignorance I didn't have women taking care of me or I was alone maybe by my own choices. At one point I couldn't support myself and thus had to make changes like enlisting in the US Army or having a diagnosis.  Are the other possibilities out there? I wouldn't know. It seems like the variations on things might thusly ruin them for what they are and were. So referencing the source material. It seems that if I see Scrooge every year then things continue to go smoothly. Conversely it seems like if I didn't then immediately things could go wrong. So to be on the...

 I admit it I snitched before. So my aim was never revenge or punishment or anything evil really. It was rather protecting my own neck and my family too. So I never got the sexual benefits I heard of for compliance. I told the VA and FBI and outside police before about my knowledge of the drug world. Way before I got word they were looking for a collar which was slang for someone to incarcerate and I basically ran like hell. I instantly joined the Army and paid off my loan and complied with all my military and state protocols. But I guess to be thankful for what I got I did get exposed to some sex here and there before. So would that have been cool if I was actually an undercover or an informant? To get police immunity and favored even more. Basically referencing John Holmes I was semi interested in that but strayed after hearing his parents divorced not wanting that that being a deal breaker. But were there ways of still doing different versions of that like Elvis and guitar for m...

 I have a valid excuse and true explanation to everything. I am better off unemployed and disabled. Getting a job seems to give me immediate problems like my parents lives in danger. Then I don't even make as good of money as I would on ssdi. The jobs basically send me directly back into the military. Then why was I kicked out in the first place? No one will give me a chance or part time work. No one will pay me. To keep a job I basically I have to make my entire life revolve around the job and can still be fired and replaced instantly. Getting a job would thus cause me to neglect my own family to the point of death by grossness. The jobs waste my time with things that aren't even important most of the time see government obsoletion. Then additionally I am outcast and stigmatized for open mental illness. I got paid to shut up and quit. I am not fighting that as I have seen others return to duty as older men sort of pointlessly in a way. I get paid to be medicated and have menta...

 Let your voice be heard. Here were some places I use to share my thoughts and contributions. Contact Us – The White House Brick & Mortar Landing Page The Exchange | Customer Relations | General Customer Feedback Survey Contact - U.S. Senator John Fetterman Roy Rogers - Tattle. Be heard. Survey Connect | The Office of Kamala D. Harris DXL Survey West Potomac High School Project Alumni - Login Hardee's Contact Us | Hardee's Survey Https://www.postalexperience.com/pos Contact | Senator Chuck Grassley With surveys you can share your opinions and insights. Get help with issues and address concerns. I like sharing thoughts on making a college vibe for all of us or noting different details like helping my parents. See the effects of this after you go shopping maybe some answers will come out. 

 Ok so here are some of the children I think may have been had by women from me before. These are the ones who seem to still call and stay in touch. There may be more but these ones seem to be flourishing. However my mom says how come these women never came looking for you for money so there is room for doubts. Georgia blonde captain so Fort Gordon and the psych ward Chaplain too other less possibilities like a jr enlisted sneaking in my window specific names Cpt Hewitt Crystal Fiedler Amish farm families see our vacations and regularity there HMGS conventions and my help for the community videos unknown names but places like Miller's Smorgasbord Country Inn and Suites Central Market Southern Market Lancaster Marriot Richmond VA coeds a few different busts lumping this under the city of madness walking the Henry Miller drop out lifestyle specific names Morgan Jones Becky Kaska Rachel Carey so many that could have and also could not have unknown no confirmation Aunts my dads sisters...

 Why can't anyone socialize with me? From my perspective I have a lot going for myself. I am a home owner have a car have a paycheck and have social media. With the internet and my smartphone couldn't I meet up with people and even have booty calls? And with the other side me being close to my parents 247 doesn't that make me good for starting a family? Where'd everyone go from the past? How come I am isolated instead of integrated? I have all this free time and am in a good position. Not really having anyone to chat with on facebook. When my xvideos account didn't catapult me into sex addiction. With my computer why aren't there people out there to schedule with? Isn't it nice that I have my parents or that I have lots going on for myself? Why aren't there more people out there who want to socialize? I could use my car or be your guest or introduce you to my family. I am retired and disabled and have time and money. Why am I being outcast?

Basically I was somewhat of a former crack head. I heard Hunter Biden did that and so did George Bush Jr. It was an ongoing roller coaster ride of seeking highs. Now what is there after that?  I'd smoke drugs and drink booze in college. After that I feel like there's not that much left. Basically masturbation and responsibilities. Fortunately I broke those habits and addictions. I partied hard but was moderated. I got to live wildly and come home to everything being good with my family again. I joined the military and thus stopped all those troublesome problems. I still look back on that and can feel the influence on my brain. What can replace or simulate the effect of those highs? Instead of smoking or drinking what can elicit that vibe? It was out of this world to take LSD and psychedelics and hallucinate. Was that at blessing to get to do that while I was young and could?

 I heard being junior enlisted is nice because you don't have big problems to worry about. So is it like being an adult child? To have some priviledges and some boundaries. The fun of the common men and women. So getting to have standard issue gear. The PFCs and cadets having their equipment. To be able to inch along and get progress with rank. Having life within the military from the very lowest ranking spots. So the paycheck broken down on uniforms and work accessories. To have affordable housing or reliable transportation. To study ones materials to progress with the future. Being around others who have control and power over you to be checked on. Forever having rank stunted. Never progressing past the bare minimums. To be accountable in your mind body and spirit to the military. A time of learning under other NCOs the sergeants.

 Isn't it easy to fall for the celebrity lifestyle? How many times have things been toppled by the rise of celebrities? So see how easy it is to fall in love with these different characters and their works. Isn't it nice having recognition and notoriety? I think it's easy to identify with celebs because they can have charming similarities in their backgrounds. Uneducated veterans married parents hobbies passions. Don't you like having the positive attention on you? Were their heroes you admired at different parts of your life? See their charming housing. See their eccentric fashions. See their romantic accomplishments. See their big successes and lifestyles. Isn't it nice having someone do all the hard work for you and you getting the rewards from it? For us to have our own fantasy to see come to fruition. The good progress from earlier attempts and tries. To be a big winner and be celebrated thusly.

 What does the government even do? There's nice parts to being in a first world country (there's also nice parts to being elsewhere). So through the government did that stop me from being in violent US Army battles like World War? Did the bureaucracy stop that?  So was it annoying that for years it seemed that the government got paid to do nothing and got all the government cheese from that? See educated govies having adulterous sex with struggling gamed women. But does the government help keep things accessible and fair with the regulations? Is it then up to the two party system for political gifts from the ruling government side? But does the government take credit for our own work and self sufficiency? Why is the government putting their fingers in all of our lives? It seems the government can be down right evil and selfish. The conspire to ruin our lives while enriching theirs. I've talked to people in Washington DC before. They wouldn't give me a chance. They'd...

What generation am I? Is it just copies of the media that determine that? Did my great grand parents put me in a time warp instilling me with their values? So there was events in my life like 911 or Obama. Was it a waste of time to study the older media? But in doing that did that give me access to their expiring royalties? After so and so is dead does it still matter very much? What defines my generations? I grew up with Nickelodeon. I grew up with the 1990s and 2000s. I've seen computers get much better over time. But what does my graduating class do now that the names are fading? No longer are the porn stars I remember from 2000s internet videos around anymore. Nor is the music the same no more of the scene. Some people have no idea what I am talking about. Then there's famous accepted answers like when Rolling Stone magazine was popular.  

Here was some small talk advice I learned from a magazine. Not sure if it was good or if it made me look like a fool but since implementing it years ago I've been comfortable talking with strangers. Here's the three small talk topics it said to use: movies so bring up the last movie I saw or other similar types of media. Recent reads or studies maybe news headlines. Ask about opinions or reviews too. An example would be bringing up the new Superman movie. weather so offer a line about what the current weather is like. And based on the amount of reply see about continuing the conversation or stopping. Bring up what's in the future or how it was in the past or present. An example would be I heard this year the snow is supposed to be coming again. travel so bring up the last vacation I had or other places I've been recently. Observations about what it was like or what was different. See if the other person knows anything about it or where there last trip was to. An example...

 What'll my future be? Will I ever have to move again? Here's some places that I have entertained the fantasy of relocating to before. Positives and negatives. Luray Virginia + At one point it said it was a hub to disabled and retirees. It's cheaper living there. Currently have a mortgage and being on the same street as my parents. - Over policed? Lack of stimulation and culture? Discouraging? Germany (Schweinfurt Wurzburg Munich?) + Prostitution is legal. Beautiful blondes. Previous history there with the US Army. Mind blowing experience seeing a new place. -Heard you can't do that and have seen momentoes (beer steins in Virginia) before of those who tried and failed before. Not currently fluent in German for the citizenship test. Korea (Seoul?) + Enjoying Korean products before Hyundai Samsung. Fascination with another culture Korean BBQ and KPOP internet cafes. US Army presence overseas believe I'd be eligible to go on base.  - Not fluent in Korean. Don't hav...

 Hypothetically this party doesn't have to stop. Let me catch you up. I while dropping out of VCU was exposed to unlimited opportunities while impoverished. Now I still seek some of that glory in modern times. When I had a flip phone with lots of girls numbers who'd let me go to their place and sleep with them in bed. Finding a simulation of having the drugs in my system when I was manic and dreaming big. To have nothing and have it all still. Being on campus with everything rock and rolling along. The end of childhood and still reaping all the rewards up to that point in life. So much free time with so much bottled up energy. With no guarantees still being reassured everything would be resolved some how. Seeing a little bit more of the world and having satiated some youthful cravings. What's there left to still do? Seeing Harrisonburg or Front Royal or other cities Elkton Alexandria. But now to help with obligations like my parents and family and the business. Would I ever...

 Welcome Ignorance and Want to my College. The university of Aubrey all secrets revealed at unbeatable bargains all free that's right zero dollars now. So I'll show you an American fun way of life. Open enrollment for my courses begins today. Let's see you enjoy growing old. Courses: Catholicism pray the rosary go to weekday mass and be a practicing catholic do confessions monthly video use youtube use a camcorder do family gatherings holidays reviews vacations podcasts photography use your smartphone be aware of making custom merch like posters from cvs or walgreens social media use tumblr and facebook options like instagram together we served livejournal blogger or xvideos painting get art supplies from michaels or hobby lobby canvas brushes acrylics  illustration use lesson books from amazon and a sketchbook writing do poetry manuscripts blogs skateboarding and longboarding do hills skateparks and local spots marriage stay together forever singles be promiscious video ga...

I believe when I was EG at VCU or other times I was doing what I was supposed to despite getting in trouble before. I went with the natural flow and progression of things and was loyal to my friends and family the entire time. Not once did I sneak off or cheat unless that was what I had to do. Here's some of my history.  I was delivering grams of weed to clients. I prioritized coeds over classes. I thought experiences would make for a better book than buying school supplies and chasing a degree. I partied hard with strangers because it was like a job in nightlife for me. I went AWOL because I was told I was going to be an amputee or I could get a cake walk on ssdi. I joined the Army because I heard I qualified for benefits I earned and was needed. In Germany I was told to go to the brothel and I went then but later stopped because during my short stay I was on my best behavior stagg writing a free lance album. I also was told my family was in danger and my trip home would save them...

 There is nothing to do. Things break. And things that could be fun aren't actually worth it when you think about it. So me and my married parents until something happens again. What to look forward to? Christmas once a year? The mathematical formulas to plays from society. Not doing substance abuse not really gambling and then there's masturbation I guess. So life behind the fourth wall. A cartoon in my head of myself and my family and those I knew or still do. Nothing ever really happens. Things coasting along for as far as I can see. The days passing by with meals and sleep each night. Growing older each year with new experiences some books read and other self taught lessons. What's there really left? Like ground hogs day the same things over and over again.

 So staying positive I am glad I didn't die other times. I am thankful for all the many blessings in my life from my car and house to my parents or even the meals. I can remember how high I used to get and carry that sentiment forward. I got to go to college or go to Germany in the Army. Now I am Retired. I don't have direct contact with my children if they ever happened but I do have intuition and faith. I was where I was supposed to for my entire life. To remember the different sources of joy that uplifted me and brought me into new eras. I got to keep my parents alive happy and free. I got to see them everyday and watch as we weathered the next chapters ahead. With the VA I was able to do my part for my short period of service. I still get to go on post and have comradery with the mil personnel. Isn't it nice being free and out of debt and even still dreaming? I get to watch porn or try to progress with new goals. As a part of the Catholic church I get to pray the rosary...

 The kids of mine women may have had may either be half siblings adopted or never happened. Moving forward I am stuck in my ways for being cynical and objective about the previous relationships and current offers. This may have happened because when opportunities were there I was more focused on my future and business. I have accepted my fate by being in reality and within my constraints. I am doing the best I can. Seeing my brother who I suspect is my half brother I can only imagine how bad my offspring have it. Could they be exposed to tattoos or not having a father or substance abuse or being uneducated? To stay positive out of the times this may have happened maybe at least one of them has done okay. BTW I thought each individual occurrence was covered by what I was doing and my accountability and professionalism. I don't want to raise someone elses kid or be cheated on. I tried when things were there to do what I was supposed to like immediately paying off my student loan. I c...

 So the pretty picture of me as a veteran for life. Benefits my family appointments and of course the holidays. Remembering the good old days and those to come. Good meals and medicine in my system. Going on post to shop with mom. Getting my monthly injections and any other prescriptions and for free. Remembering times with the military while I was in. Germany and Georgia. Food in my belly. My parents with me all the time. The brotherhood with military and the allure of the females. Good times in Harrisonburg seeing the college campus and restaurants. I got my paychecks. I am paying my bills. I am a home owner. I get to do what I want.

 What does the news even mean? Can you really dig and take some alternative views from the initial story? Are both two party sides going to skew it for their own agenda? So take Zohran Mamdani he's muslim is he popular because jews were bad (not to be antisemitic or say that wasn't the first time jews have been persecuted). I don't know what to think from the news. Yet it continues to suck me in. Will this cause trends that will start happening? It seems like in some cases this stuff has no effect on me or anything near me. So then political analysts can get involved and give you their advice and insights. What the repercussions mean? What the ramifications of this will be? So the politics being a big complex topic with lots of wild cards involved. You could ask your family your parents or your friends what there thoughts are on this. You could pick a side and see what they say Republican or Democrat. Or maybe it just doesn't affect you and me what so ever.

 Basically I win because I went to VCU and paid. I did those once in a lifetime things when I was young and now am cured from that hunger. I can do anything because I was a pseudo professor with insurance and a student for life. I am proof that the mainstream answers can be incorrect. I did plenty of substance abuse. I slept next to lots of different girls in bed. I practiced my hobbies full time. I got to do all of this because I got accepted into VCU which is a tier 1 school. However I try to port these ideas and memories out to palettable formats for the rest of us. I am one of you and understand the needs wants and stimulation for our situation. However I focused on my future with my career and even passion over my need to start a conventional family and thus may have half sibling neglected children to multiple women. But by doing that my parents remain married. I have experience in scenarios that others are unfamiliar with. I have permanently affected my brain with 'steroids...

 Why is everything so difficult? The rules they teach you never make sense and are mandatory. You could very well do something different but from my own experience you'll get isolated and ostracized. It seems like there would be a better way by now. It's basically a completely flawed system. I am not allowed to do anything in addition to people keeping tabs on me. Yeah there's lots of great things I liked about other media but the parts people highlight seem to ruin that entirely. Why can't you do that without those parts the divorces or other downsides? I have lately taken to avoiding those things that initially interested me out of safety. To begin it was never advertised as that quite the opposite. And then when it came out it already sucked me in and wasted my time. Why are these shown as the answers when that's not what I wanted? I didn't know that person was divorced. Also I could've sworn that during Biden everything changed with that and it was sayin...

 Have I lost my identity from joining the military? Will I have new powers over me someday? So moving on without connections. To accept the VA as my care provider and settle within their rules and guidance. Someday my parents will be gone. I rely on the VA for my medicine and income. Seeing other veterans who got ditched but survived I anticipate what's next. To be another veteran with the hat on and no one really there for them. Hanging out at the DC VA EG it was different. To still have the high of being young and joining the military. Liking going on base with mom during dad's game night. Being bound by their advice different personalities met in the VA and military system to assimilate. Will I live in Luray forever? Who'll be my caregiver after my parents? What'll happen with my hobbies? It seems like times can really change with the different presidents taking office.

 Man did some people be annoying. So did I take the buy out? Anyways I had dreams like this but cooperated with the VA instead. See not doing moleskin sketchbooks anymore or how many times I got robbed in public school and didn't know it until years later when I moved and came back. Not to point the finger at anyone over this. So I remember my grand parents could really be helpful with raising me up through the years but now they are gone. Yeah in the city dealing with a lot of people robbing me and using social workers on me to the point of being a John Doe veteran now. So now I share my secrets and thoughts with anonymous strangers on my accounts. My designer styles fashions and brand? Well there was different eras Georgia Richmond DC Luray to name some Front Royal. So the high of retail the fun of shopping. I lived my fantasy and settled into safety and security and helping my family. So the fantasy looks before whether it was Exile on Main Street or earlier it was the US Army w...