blake uptin

I believe when I was EG at VCU or other times I was doing what I was supposed to despite getting in trouble before. I went with the natural flow and progression of things and was loyal to my friends and family the entire time. Not once did I sneak off or cheat unless that was what I had to do. Here's some of my history.  I was delivering grams of weed to clients. I prioritized coeds over classes. I thought experiences would make for a better book than buying school supplies and chasing a degree. I partied hard with strangers because it was like a job in nightlife for me. I went AWOL because I was told I was going to be an amputee or I could get a cake walk on ssdi. I joined the Army because I heard I qualified for benefits I earned and was needed. In Germany I was told to go to the brothel and I went then but later stopped because during my short stay I was on my best behavior stagg writing a free lance album. I also was told my family was in danger and my trip home would save them...

 There is nothing to do. Things break. And things that could be fun aren't actually worth it when you think about it. So me and my married parents until something happens again. What to look forward to? Christmas once a year? The mathematical formulas to plays from society. Not doing substance abuse not really gambling and then there's masturbation I guess. So life behind the fourth wall. A cartoon in my head of myself and my family and those I knew or still do. Nothing ever really happens. Things coasting along for as far as I can see. The days passing by with meals and sleep each night. Growing older each year with new experiences some books read and other self taught lessons. What's there really left? Like ground hogs day the same things over and over again.

 So staying positive I am glad I didn't die other times. I am thankful for all the many blessings in my life from my car and house to my parents or even the meals. I can remember how high I used to get and carry that sentiment forward. I got to go to college or go to Germany in the Army. Now I am Retired. I don't have direct contact with my children if they ever happened but I do have intuition and faith. I was where I was supposed to for my entire life. To remember the different sources of joy that uplifted me and brought me into new eras. I got to keep my parents alive happy and free. I got to see them everyday and watch as we weathered the next chapters ahead. With the VA I was able to do my part for my short period of service. I still get to go on post and have comradery with the mil personnel. Isn't it nice being free and out of debt and even still dreaming? I get to watch porn or try to progress with new goals. As a part of the Catholic church I get to pray the rosary...

 The kids of mine women may have had may either be half siblings adopted or never happened. Moving forward I am stuck in my ways for being cynical and objective about the previous relationships and current offers. This may have happened because when opportunities were there I was more focused on my future and business. I have accepted my fate by being in reality and within my constraints. I am doing the best I can. Seeing my brother who I suspect is my half brother I can only imagine how bad my offspring have it. Could they be exposed to tattoos or not having a father or substance abuse or being uneducated? To stay positive out of the times this may have happened maybe at least one of them has done okay. BTW I thought each individual occurrence was covered by what I was doing and my accountability and professionalism. I don't want to raise someone elses kid or be cheated on. I tried when things were there to do what I was supposed to like immediately paying off my student loan. I c...

 So the pretty picture of me as a veteran for life. Benefits my family appointments and of course the holidays. Remembering the good old days and those to come. Good meals and medicine in my system. Going on post to shop with mom. Getting my monthly injections and any other prescriptions and for free. Remembering times with the military while I was in. Germany and Georgia. Food in my belly. My parents with me all the time. The brotherhood with military and the allure of the females. Good times in Harrisonburg seeing the college campus and restaurants. I got my paychecks. I am paying my bills. I am a home owner. I get to do what I want.

 What does the news even mean? Can you really dig and take some alternative views from the initial story? Are both two party sides going to skew it for their own agenda? So take Zohran Mamdani he's muslim is he popular because jews were bad (not to be antisemitic or say that wasn't the first time jews have been persecuted). I don't know what to think from the news. Yet it continues to suck me in. Will this cause trends that will start happening? It seems like in some cases this stuff has no effect on me or anything near me. So then political analysts can get involved and give you their advice and insights. What the repercussions mean? What the ramifications of this will be? So the politics being a big complex topic with lots of wild cards involved. You could ask your family your parents or your friends what there thoughts are on this. You could pick a side and see what they say Republican or Democrat. Or maybe it just doesn't affect you and me what so ever.

 Basically I win because I went to VCU and paid. I did those once in a lifetime things when I was young and now am cured from that hunger. I can do anything because I was a pseudo professor with insurance and a student for life. I am proof that the mainstream answers can be incorrect. I did plenty of substance abuse. I slept next to lots of different girls in bed. I practiced my hobbies full time. I got to do all of this because I got accepted into VCU which is a tier 1 school. However I try to port these ideas and memories out to palettable formats for the rest of us. I am one of you and understand the needs wants and stimulation for our situation. However I focused on my future with my career and even passion over my need to start a conventional family and thus may have half sibling neglected children to multiple women. But by doing that my parents remain married. I have experience in scenarios that others are unfamiliar with. I have permanently affected my brain with 'steroids...

 Why is everything so difficult? The rules they teach you never make sense and are mandatory. You could very well do something different but from my own experience you'll get isolated and ostracized. It seems like there would be a better way by now. It's basically a completely flawed system. I am not allowed to do anything in addition to people keeping tabs on me. Yeah there's lots of great things I liked about other media but the parts people highlight seem to ruin that entirely. Why can't you do that without those parts the divorces or other downsides? I have lately taken to avoiding those things that initially interested me out of safety. To begin it was never advertised as that quite the opposite. And then when it came out it already sucked me in and wasted my time. Why are these shown as the answers when that's not what I wanted? I didn't know that person was divorced. Also I could've sworn that during Biden everything changed with that and it was sayin...

 Have I lost my identity from joining the military? Will I have new powers over me someday? So moving on without connections. To accept the VA as my care provider and settle within their rules and guidance. Someday my parents will be gone. I rely on the VA for my medicine and income. Seeing other veterans who got ditched but survived I anticipate what's next. To be another veteran with the hat on and no one really there for them. Hanging out at the DC VA EG it was different. To still have the high of being young and joining the military. Liking going on base with mom during dad's game night. Being bound by their advice different personalities met in the VA and military system to assimilate. Will I live in Luray forever? Who'll be my caregiver after my parents? What'll happen with my hobbies? It seems like times can really change with the different presidents taking office.

 Man did some people be annoying. So did I take the buy out? Anyways I had dreams like this but cooperated with the VA instead. See not doing moleskin sketchbooks anymore or how many times I got robbed in public school and didn't know it until years later when I moved and came back. Not to point the finger at anyone over this. So I remember my grand parents could really be helpful with raising me up through the years but now they are gone. Yeah in the city dealing with a lot of people robbing me and using social workers on me to the point of being a John Doe veteran now. So now I share my secrets and thoughts with anonymous strangers on my accounts. My designer styles fashions and brand? Well there was different eras Georgia Richmond DC Luray to name some Front Royal. So the high of retail the fun of shopping. I lived my fantasy and settled into safety and security and helping my family. So the fantasy looks before whether it was Exile on Main Street or earlier it was the US Army w...