Do you think I was smart to go to the predominately black community and pursue life as a full time guitarist? Am I better off for hearing the people in the industry their awareness of the deep burdens people can quickly face for ignoring their suggestions? Or should I have tried something else promiscuity or a family? Was it even possible?

Did the nightclubs help me? Was at the time being a guitarist my best choice?  Basically were the warnings all true of all the bad things that happen to people? Was everyone telling the truth?

So there was the dynamic of the black men. Was I just uncapable of starting a relationship? Was for a while my full time job guitarist? Were the women just going to put me in problematic scenarios?

You hear of the problems gay men are aware of domestically. You see others made examples of them left with regret and anger. You know there's no insurance in relationships. Is it worth it to still try after all?

Was I just cornered into a bad spot for a long time? Or was that what others figured was the best thing I could really do from there? See masturbation and being alone and single for a long time. See not getting issues I was weary of like disease divorce or garnishments.





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