blake uptin

 So where was I? Catching up again. Thoughts? So one sort of point was Mark Wahlberg is great and all but I feel like his movies might be more rewarding than they are always entertaining and also like borderline realistic. Italian Job was fun and the pay out was good. Other ones like Pain and Gain or Lone Survivor seem to be him as a funny idiot. However what I was getting at was Entourage seems like a masterpiece but he isn't even really in that. It wouldn't've lined up that way. So that encompasses him but he's not necessarily starring in that. Another point was he's sort of a charming idiot. Acting like that like when I wanted to be an actor and the characters I'd play out. Tics and ideas too. Being smooth but stupid in a way. So one thing my brother will do is he'll say are you done. Sometimes he'll take jokes I've invented then run them into the ground on me. So that one was maybe a negative reply to my celebrity statuses? Not liking being hurri...

 An update. So the other day I had a termite inspection. The guy kept wanting to talk to me and I thought is he some perv or something? He kept bringing up how BTBAM he knew and the guy literally called him when he was at my house. Then some of this started dawning on me. So I remembered the band he was talking about. A little story was I bought a BTBAM shirt as a boy and remembered someone whose parents were divorced and his dad was in the navy the guy cornered me and talked me into selling him the BTBAM shirt for more then I paid for it. So at the time the band was one of  those things back then that was going to help me and solve problems for me. Paying attention to the materials released. So the guy said he was friends with the group. Between the Buried and Me. I think he was going through the termite inspector to get to me. So we chatted a little bit. I told him how the time they were booked it didn't quite line up for me but how I saw other similar groups before. I kept ...

  4/17/2026 Friday breakfast mom's breakfast blueberry pancakes bacon  lunch cheeseburgers chips mom's cooking dinner peppercorn chinese food ordered family style tiger pork chili dumplings pan fried dumplings longboarded numerous times walking my hill did a little weightlifting bench pressing the bar and using the free weight bar for reps in another standing position 4/18 Saturday breakfast mom's house granola milk sausage sauerkraut lunch spelunkers spicy chicken sandwich fries no salt dinner steak mashed potatoes cookies helped load and move stuff for my dad into the trailer from the pool cabana moved some plastic tubs two burritos at night half asleep 4/19/2026 Sunday breakfast poppyseed bagel from walkers bakery sperryvville lunch broads and beards axe throwing couple slices of pizza half pepperoni half mushroom sausage on the whole thing some buffalo chicken wings a couple chili cheese tater tots some of mom's house salad with very little ranch dressing dinner bel...

 Catching up again? So getting back up on my feet again. Don't think I'll do the Hollywood Casino after all. My meds being my excuse and reason. So what happens during that scenario. Caffeine to stay awake. And me having to drive there and back. No more drinking. So what else to spend money on instead? What to do then? Don't seem to need a new guitar. Don't really need new video games. Or art supplies. Meals with my parents. Staying motivated and cozy.  So I saw TRADOC is no more. It's been replaced by T2COM. Felt a little bit weird to hear it was gone. TRADOC was a US Army program for training that I was in. So looking back on my master tapes? So seeing others who had early hits that lasted a lifetime. Not much after that though. Mccartney with Wings or Brian Wilson's releases after the beach boys.  What of my projects will keep going? Video logs? So some things ending and others continuing to go. Presidents. Trends. So getting ready for Harpers Ferry. West Vir...

  Figured I'd catch up a little bit. So I am moving to Harpers Ferry West Virginia. I'll be living in my parents basement. I'll be on the mortgage helping out. Took a pause we were heading to dinner at Bella Luna in Harrisonburg VA. My house is now mostly all packed up. I have hand held video games that I might find having around being more fun than actually playing them. There was a fun $35 cracker barrel gift shop hand held I got with 300 vintage games on it. Snake being a main stream one. So thinking that was helping my family. Recently tried Beards and Broads not the Harrisonburg location the other one that was near new market va. Not sure what stores I'll shop around there will be. Costco still? Commuting to Alexandria. Thinking staying in touch with AAFES helped me. Good things showing up. Really liked Field Jackets for a while. Other things that did it for me. Colored Hanes hoodies. here's a map I made (think the link should work it's just some stuff I fo...

 There was a lot more to my stories than the famous references releases. Catcher in the Rye? So here was it. Shorthand? A quick angle that may have been left out on a first draft. Also am I more of the real thing than the other phonies? I mean before the Mandela Effect Muslims and Indians and others ruined it the Government. So at one point my parents talked about putting me in private school Bishop Ireton. I turned them down. I insisted on staying in public school. I thought the money was out of reach and I had to do what I had to help fix our lives from there. I swore all these projects I was working on were going to come to fruition someday. Dreams like being a movie star. Making that much money. Aspirations. So I thought with the private school that would be the Dead Poets Society Robin Williams suicide trajectory. A loving father maybe abused? I thought about how much money we had. I don't care if none of them will be my  friend to this day. I don't care if they want to g...

 The wild life? The writer? So tuning in. Today's episode. Referencing Jack Kerouac I published lots of my writing. So seeing parts like the 15 minutes of fame an installment the time off the glory days. So books I wrote? But staying alive. Thinking Keith Richards could be an example of someone who got rewarded for his dangerous lifestyle or how he got medical help to live so long. Courts and jail. Relocation. So that was thinking he had experts and professionals help take care of him drug dealers scientific tailorings and other peoples monitoring on him. So a story was thinking I may have actually fathered a fair amount of children. The women dynamics and issues too. So my publications before equating to kids before. So I went to sleep when I was younger and had tons of bodily fluids and blood flow going through me. Boners and semen and opportune times and places.  Now being older. Less erections from the medicine. Not wanting to get cheated on or divorced. The story of just ...

 food journal longboarded once during the week and weight lifted too about to do that a second time walked to my parents back and forth from my house numerous times (got whole milk today for refreshment and energy) leftover mom's breakfast pancakes breakfast meat lunch firebox 55 pork bbq mac n cheese collard greens unsweet tea dinner elkton brewery supreme pizza    dinner mcdonald's quarter pounder with cheese combo unsweet tea fries medium lunch homemade koubiday breakfast toast with butter breakfast toast with butter lunch bella luna meatball pizza the don dinner lemon pepper pork chop breakfast toast with butter lunch cracker barrel mamma's breakfast pancakes cheese casserole dumplings  dinner meatballs rice breakfast mom's breakfast blueberry pancakes bacon egg lunch homemade koubiday  dinner  breakfast mom's breakfast sausage french toast egg lunch wawa steak and cheese and mac and cheese  dinner emmy squared pops salad mozzarella sticks two slic...

 Before disability. Well before disability. Here was a memory I clearly have. This was a little bit reoccurring. So it was this. I remember when I was in High School thinking that if I only had money I could do so much more. Back then everything hit me. I was driving my parents car. So I had to pay for gas to get to my job. I had to pay taxes on my paycheck. Then it was like if I went to go get food fast food at that then boom there's like around ten dollars gone. And I only had and made so much money. So more of it was the price of the drugs I was smoking. So cigarettes and alcohol and what was said to be weed. Those hitting my pockets. Basically here was a big part of the memory I would get high then imagine how much extra stuff I could have had and done at that point. Better clothes. Add ons with the meals. Somethings were just completely out of reach for me. But I clearly saw them there I just couldn't access them. That's my point. I never used EBT or Snap until after t...

 first one: So catching up with the move. Here is some of where I stand and what I wanted to voice to y'all and get support. A huge inception (the Leo Dicaprio movie Inception hit hard for me overseas and now when I get bored sometimes I'll send things to Stuart a collage of famous photos and I'll reread it for entertainment maybe that was from Germany with American pop culture but the reoccurring story with those was deal breaker trivia related to the stories a counter for this was if dad still liked Gygax not the bad parts though clearly deal breakers non negotiables safety I love that stuff but the insurance on the fantasy like hearing he was a insurance salesmen thinking coverage and safety and that story watching these famous examples but not wanting the bad parts it's easy to get sucked into it and then want different outcomes then the master copy or details about it) for me was Entourage the HBO show. For now I could see my pseudo Entourage being my parents and b...

 Another one I forgot? So there was Steve Ditko. The co creator of Spiderman. That was being a conventional success. Paying the bills. So he's a veteran too. That was little wins. Being able to support myself and do what I enjoy forever. Comics? Art school? A long life. Also his parents were married but I think the biography Christmas gift book I read on him said his parents may have died earlier and I attributed that to his career. Thus I quit on that. But I think a youtube doc I watched on him said how he kept quitting on things that being reoccurring for him. So relating to that part too. Staying alive and doing well little improvements and progress. Another one? So just rambling about Tiger Woods. That was that high of sex addiction. The taboo. The attractive white women. When it was out of reach or forbidden or inappropriate or escalating or a fantasy. It was there but I was never able to do it due to responsibility or awareness of what was at stake. Also confessing I believe ...

 Explaining another one? So referencing writers and noting details about each. All of these it said had married parents. Off the top of my head there is: Henry Miller he was an expat before, I did that once but quit. So relating to writing Tropic of Cancer. Getting stationed overseas in Germany. So parts like did he neglect his parents by going out on his own as opposed to staying around and helping? So doing stream of consciousness. Being a womanizer? The wild stuff? Adventure? Getting older. Being an artist. JD Salinger people disparaged his reputation saying he was a pedophile. So he wrote a great American book that is a banned book. So I was a drop out like him. Am I now a hermit from my pseudo fame? People harassing me and me needing privacy? So I wrote my books in the Army with TRADOC and quit before taking it to next levels. Small victories I had instead to be conservative and objective on realistic wins. See him writing for his whole life but being outcast I guess. Or him m...

 Catching up? So where am I now what's going on? Realizing I am suffering from a bit of a social media addiction. But also not having any real progress with that isolated and facebook isn't that great anymore (but it's still free). Now what I did a few times was make famous picture collages to look at as a form of entertainment (either set to private or shared with my family) also since TV could seem not that good sometimes. Missing George Bush Jr era myspace. Growing up back then being a teenager during that. All that now gone it seems. That high of youth.  More would be the big inception of Entourage in my head. When I wanted to be a celebrity. That lifestyle. Confusions about women. The promiscuity delusion. My parents and brother as my entourage? All the projects I did. What'll be up ahead? What's next? Seeing my future and looking back also. Seeing the next Entourage release Ramble On and not that interested. Charlie Sheen got HIV I heard not wanting that. Vinc...