blake uptin

 Is 'product' enough as a alternative to more schooling? See Magic the Gathering see North Face see skate set ups. If you bought [sic] a longboard and stayed home with your parents would you still end up going to more college? How much fun is artschool in that case? Where is life after hs? Step one was once your 21 there's specific bars. Then the vices like substance abuse or sex. I believe I turned down early sex addiction due to hearing downsides to not getting set as an adult in life. There's lots of stories of characters being successful with their hobbies. Photographers like stuff you can see at the Hirsh Horn DC. To think of the self education and formats for that like training manuals. From your current housing what are you going to do? Being young once and for the older heads tips and tricks on the current trends. There's always family and holidays. But what can you do to etch out your own personality? See the different sectors of growing up like what your c...

 Now can I get laid? Now that I oh wait I don't want you trying to rob me like a vermin rodent. Leave me alone. And how come I'm completely alone now? Have you ever tried paid pornography? Did you know that is a thing? See how many people failed in the entertainment industry. Also why aren't there different types of men stars instead of blacks and young white men with tattoos? Has my slight erectile dysfunction countered with bananas made me miss the boat for being a homemade pornstar? Have you seen how vulgar porn can be? It is so easy to fall into writing sexual drivel. Does mortality and aging trump the highs of sex? Where's the pornstars I can identify with? Middle aged veterans with married parents? Would it work like music where those things can show up? Or is it just a higher grade of sexual content to masturbate to?

 The only place you can get paid is the VA and VA affiliation. People only want to use me for my military benefits. So name one job you get that you don't lose. Look around at subway and see what I mean. Our country sucks but it's first world so that's nice. Interracial sex appeared to be mandatory. So learning my family would be shanghai'd without the VA. No one will help and the VA will go out of it's way to attack me furthermore.  See how businesses are doomed. Doomed despite doing everything the right way. And furthermore then the rewards can be miniscule. Also there can be lawyers waiting to cash in on you with legal threats. Was the trip overseas pointless or not? Not to spiral into negativity. To support the sex addict leaders and get the bare minimum in exchange for giving my life away to people taking credit for communal things like forced eating. Why was I hospitalized?

 As a result of my US Army stint I now have a modestly bad relationship with indians and muslims. My new unit is my family and they have tried to kill them and me before. I was told 9/11 was like the Dark Knight Heath Ledger for me through Obama. I saw my neighbor have a VA nurse who oddly was apparently indian. Solving things I had orders to go kill muslims. I didn't realize that what india is to desert storm is like what DC is to Arlington, they're nearby and know each other. I was heroic for my country. I did what I was paid to do as best as possible with my units picture in mind. I don't know why muslims and indians seem to not like me. Also other ones too like jewish males. This would be a story people expect different things at different places. However that just plain isn't reality. I liked indian food. I thought the indians could be like the vietnamese but I was wrong. I have stigma for participating in the war campaign from America. Additionally indians and mus...

 Here's my fantasy it starts with puberty goes to VCU then continues to Germany and home again. Now that that was done will the gates to booty calls be opened? Aren't I a good candidate as always? I am punctual and accountable and knowledgeable and experienced. Remembering clearly being girl crazy. Remembering the parties that never seemed to end. To visualize and see me being a loner straggling along. What about never growing up? I wanted to get laid. I wanted life to be like the old days again. While doing that I wanted my family to still be well. Then the endless bookies out there to stay on key with. Wasn't all the free time nice like vacations or socializing? Seeing girls in their underwear. Being outside with freshair and manic hope. Living wild and happy with a better tomorrow always on the horizon.

 I am still loyal to my friends who some happened to be dealing drugs. In the entertainment circuit I believe I have triumphed many by where I am now. As a drug distributing courier I played no games and delivered to both sides without a commission. I was reimbursed with getting to do drugs for free and without the stresses that can be present. I remember the game. I remember how much money was being trafficked. I remember how quickly that happened. Phones blown up looking for the plethora of campus illegal drugs available at a phone call. I protected my own behind. I talked to the FBI hotline and the psychiatry doctors no one else really a cop at 930 club once. I didn't get any personal gain again directly. I was karmaic and lawful and honest with helping others. I never looked down on those in the underworlds of vice businesses. In hindsight I think I was around some prostitutes too. I was understanding to all parties involved. And I made it through all of that mostly unscathed.

 Thinking about it I'd rather women keep having sex with me in my sleep and having my babies. That beats failing to get laid with libido max contaminating my balls right? Wherever these mysterious women come from I know not but I get a load deposited and some vaj on my odor. Couldn't officially start a family though listened to the county and government. Ejaculation lasts not that long. A baby is a gift that carries on my legacy. Weighing the two it'd be better off being safe rather than prepping for something that never comes. Go to sleep and have a angelic woman mount me. This was reoccurring in my life. Because I paid my bills or did what I was supposed to. By enlisting in the Army I left town and saw foreign lands. The brisk photographic memory of German pussy. I don't want to let down my women. I don't want a miscarriage. I stopped myself before it went too far. Anyways paraplegics are cool too.

Is that just not possible? So how do I keep my parents married stay single and be promiscious? Always the logistics. Aren't there other hedonists out there like me?  My educated references I have collected all appear to have problems. Then it's back to masturbation and noble hopeless causes. Freely sharing my lessons. But a tit for tat in my way was the education as opposed to the celebrities, see the professor being wild. I am keeping my obligations. Despite my diagnosis I appear to be rational cognizant and sane. In reality I fantasize about the white women but meet that with safety and discretion and good taste. Would being sexually active ruin my pseudo careers? So I have not fully learned the adult film industry and more of that sex work. I previously was a guitarist and later was introduced to medicine. Maybe some dreams just aren't meant to come true. Instead I got the more important things in life scored like babies or housing or credit or the military etc.

 They can take it away too. Ever smoke something and have it do literally nothing? Yeah there's powers and educated leaders in place with control. To see the temporal beauty of cigarettes. What happens when it doesn't do anything anymore? Scientists extracting the joy chemicals from the equation. See addiction when it's just unsatiated hunger. How will you fill the present void? I am being moderated. The temptations are out of reach. What is the purpose of life? See VA complacency. Is it not worth the trouble? Better to not regret and experience pain and withdrawal. The thrill can be removed with precision. No more fun just sterility.

 Would you want to go be a drop out like me? What are your choices? The community college temptation or is a hs diploma enough? What really is your goal? You could go party for a little while and get a dose of the college way. Learn to longboard. Are you basically trying to have some sex? But remember how will you pay for it. After hs what's left? Friends disappear. The community closes up and you're left with fast food choices. Are you willing to skip starting a family for the carnal pleasure of the singles life? Think of what the dorms will do for you after that. The freshman year experience with plenty of pals to kick it with. What's the point of trying to graduate? Are you ready for that type of financial burden?

 Parents your kids are like your xbox characters you are building up. Life is as easy and simple as Final Fantasy the video game where you build your crew. Go out and adventure with your friends and family today. Live as accessible as a GED holder. With a driver's license see where you can eat nearby. Remember first jobs and your first love. Life is fun and joyous despite miserly mathematics. Train your children. Raise your children to stay around you. Use your children to help you with your own goals and wishes. Have your children take care of you and take care of your children both symbiotically. Stick together as a family. Have good fun grinding along with quests and missions. Advance with your skill trees and romances. Welcome to a better reality.

 It was one of the biggest highs of my entire life. Thinking about it now still brings back jackpot memories. So I was AWOL and recorded my album Ghost Lovin'. I made it through all this crap to be a home owner with a paycheck. Being overseas as a guitarist in the hotel was bliss. Even my military police jailing was a cakewalk. I kept having visions and seeing myself mindmap a better time to come. I was going to save the country and myself. I kept getting further and better. To this day no tattoos or criminal record really. I was on top of the world all by myself. The stakes were there and I coasted on through back to GA until home again in Fairfax County. I was referencing albums that's shelf lives were getting close to expiring. Like Exile on Main Street from the Rolling Stones where I was still going with my manic dreams. Later hearing the term Kraut Rock. I wanted to live fully and create masterpieces, well did I?

 One of my biggest lessons I didn't openly secretly realize until I was 35yrs old. Women can have your baby while you are asleep. Some of mine may have been covered under tics I had or accountability. Now that I've told you, what'll you do? You could not even be the father. Her body her choice. I had factors going on like not wanting my families lives to fall apart and be torn apart. I chose to EG be a guitarist before. I finally won. After my life spent doing the right thing I may have seen glimpses that I did it. I beat my life sentence or I got a paycheck. Is my life starting to progress? With the music you can see things like racism. Black city but white night clubs. You can see how women think. Being rewarded for chivalry or heroism.

 A line I kept saying to the grand kids was 'Harry Potter's ending real soon'. What I meant by that was understanding that the next phase is about to start. Or also how that school house fun can be temporary. What do you really have after that? What happens after you graduate? There's the university option. But some of the dynamics to it like debt. Then there's what'll you do for a career unless you can get ssdi. After you become an adult the game can change. Where's your sense of community anymore? What can you really do anymore? Where's the free stuff after that? Now that my life has become I have become a pseudo professor or counselor or other titles I had. There's the being a sober hobbyist home body choice. There's holidays with family. Are you ready for tomorrow?

 All you really need is some tea and you'll be mostly fine. If something bothers you, take a gulp of some tea. If you're feeling other ailments, have a glass of tea and relax. Tea is a blessing in life and there's many types out there. Think of all the history and nuances to tea. Southerners. British. Isn't it nice getting a little caffeine or sugar or other fix ins like cream? Exhale and forget. Feel the nice different temperature options like hot cold and room temperature. Where to set up a tea party at? To think of nice add ons like a music source or other entertainment to consider the news on television or the radio other stuff vinyl records amazon music. Isn't it nice just having some tea? The fluids leaving the system being pleasant too urinating in the toilet. To think of if you have a guest and having conversations. This tradition has been around for quite some time and should be celebrated to this day.

 Was one of my Ivy League obligations to not be sexually active? Didn't I still keep that deal as of now? See not having drama or academic issues. So pleasing my professors by doing my hw real & imagined. In univ I slept with lots of women but while awake I did not have physical sex. Is this still a constraint? Other things that have changed I no longer deliver weed but it has been legalized. I do still believe I have academic obligations to fulfill. I still try to advocate and teach and learn too. I still build my prolific library of projects. I tried to write my teachers before too. Handwritten letters and updates. I had the opportunity in life many times to be a sex worker. I listened to rational reasoning and turned it down before. I remember in Univ believing I was under surveillance and always tried to do the right answer in the scenarios. I taught myself to live and had experiences filled with vigor and I began writing my own books.

 I was exposed to pedophelia maybe as a reward for my life of doing the right thing. I have references like Les Mis, From the Rooftops of Paris, ageplay, Pablo Picasso, Steve Buscemi, & the Beatles. These days when I am around underage girls I feel my body have muscle memory to maybe the effect being like a champagne bottle being uncorked & foaming. Sleeping with women has always been fun. I can feel the girls hormones and preripe bodies bouncing around. I am thankful to have gotten to hang out with British girls in Spain. I am thankful to have gotten to meet German girls at the burlesque house. It stirs up a madness in my head like being girl crazy. I believe I've been with older women too and that was fine, I like variety. To feel the wrinkles in their skin. Overseas pedophelia isn't necessarily illegal. Or at least when I was there it wasn't. Describing the body like a dog that is on the verge of getting it's sexual capabilities. Or like a peach that is about...

 Daydreaming about if we got work with the Church in Luray. Construction projects. Fantasizing about it like in Entourage when they start seeking new jobs. To think of having a designer element to it. Liking my parents business and especially the work done at my house. Thinking of the signature from my dad overseeing jobs. The workers personalities and charisma. How cool the custom work done is. There was a story a rumor the church thought about building a new church. So thinking of the fun of getting a job. The coolness of detailing it and little touches and our styles. How fun is it being apart of the Catholic community? Thinking of projects we've done in the past. When my old house got dormer additions built on. Many projects that have gone so smooth and been giant helps. The joy of my art studio with new flooring instead of the carpet.

 I heard in a youtube toy collecting vid collectors chase memories like childhood. So I have many fond memories to shuffle through. Moving to Alexandria and picking up skateboarding. The build up to the climax of getting into VCU. So having hobbies as an adult. Some upgrades in life and continued passion. Remembering public school and puberty. Or other phases I went through. How much fun was my old bedroom. Not knowing where I'd end up in the future. Trying my best to get good grades and the allure of partying. My life as a boy in the neighborhood. The joys of being with my family. Setting off for VCU. The coed dorms and my first apartments. Forgot about the whole Army times TRADOC or Germany.

 I like my fellow veterans was frozen at the age of boyhood. I have some arrested development. The DFAC chow hall foods messed with my mind. Now I am still forever young. Seeing people hanging out at the DC VA medical center all day. Remembering different AIT barracks. Or the military adventure continued. From Germany seeing overseas and leaving the country. I have seen the black adult male veterans and seen their humor. Also them being cared for and being products of the system. To grow up as a boy to see EG Vietnam. How fun it was hanging out in mental illness groups before going to the basement for a free meal a the cafeteria. Thankful to have my benefits like my healthcare. I still act like I live in the barracks and have to be accountable. I fondly remember my coed peers from Georgia. I am still the kid who enlisted a little later at 19 years old and shipped off to meps and later BCT at Ft Jackson.

 I chose to be a VA home owner over other fantasies or addictions. I am lawful. I listen to the nurses doctors and my caregivers. I believe this is smarter than EG guitar or sex. I made assumptions about neighbors. I saw them from when I was a boy to later when I came home from the US Army. The neighborhood kids would tell me how I'd be better off like them. I learned of disabled vets slowly. I chose to take my meds. I chose to pay my bills. I chose to stay single. I chose to know when to stop. I saw many neighbors who were retired military. Seeing their comfortable lives they made was inspiring. I remember my first house in Bucknell and how much fun that was. There were common observations like exposure to live music bars or having a service companion dog or having to go food and cable television.

 Where and what is our healthcare? Really. Name one job you don't lose. Name any affordable medication. See what I am talking about? I have no problem with the drugs I just don't want the promised troubles. How are we supposed to live normal natural lives in America? How will we get paid? See the drug hypocrisies. SSDI can be unapproachable for some and inescapable for others. Mental illness and the law enforcement. See the quick cash of weed and the business around it crypto and the dark web. What do we have to do to keep our freedom and quality of life? What jobs are free from political trends and stretches of unemployment? If it's drug dealing money laundering then how to make it better for all parties involved while ducking the police scrutiny. What can we do to stay alive and happy without obvious & avoidable problems that are in a stalemate?

My parents history of caregiving for me was insane. To remember the sprees as a boy. Loading up on good fashions. My dad and mom being scrappy and tough and having integrity.  (Previous healthcare) when I'd get caught smoking weed (didn't happen that often). When we'd go do something like a dealer would do like us as a family at Popeye's by the recruiter. Getting some little thing that helped so much. Fingerboards at my parents house. Our third move. Different houses through the years. Taking my parents Subaru Forester we had and trying so desperately hard to find parties. The formal training my education and my grooming. Always some new one. Getting my mop top hair my shag from growing it out. Other friends places I could walk or skate to.

 The look of Rock and Roll Hotel when I'd look at the upcoming events. To think of my house like a hotel I owned. Now having my back porch with privacy. The backstage vibe. The feel of transiency and traffick the people going on about the nights and days. The rooftop with the 2010s party. The charisma of the owner I saw before older muscular black guy. And all the personalities of the staff there. To think of my housing being cool and fun. When I'd close the gate and go up the stairs of my old cape cod in NOVA. The bit of trivia like how it was a funeral parlor. Being able to walk around the H Street neighborhood. So mindmapping back then. Seeing a good Elvis Presley detail with booze and nights and rock and roll. Fantasizing back then about the city the women the adventure the movies the dreams the creativity. To live the lifestyle of a poet artist with different formatting.

 Preaching inclusion and availabilities. So in this case, can everything just get sold out instead of having to give something up? So here's a mission for you do a youtube video. Should be easy with a smartphone and your computer to vid edit. Let's try the Rembrandt philosophy and have ideas outsourced and developped. Why can't you try your hand at ergo art school habits? How can my hobbies be shared and made more accessible? Imagine if you hosted a food reviews video. Or if you made a painting like a wall art poster. What if you did some weight training safely? Or if you found a hub or source for conversation? I don't want to be robbed or to lose my hobbies. Can't things be made more within reach? Let's see your pictures you take with your smartphone. Can't these things just get sold out instead where it's a craze and we're all having fun?

 One I didn't realize I think was being done was 'cutting it close'. Some of that being like the excitement of Brady as a white QB. Some of that was me assimilating as not Asian. So times I was high strung early or when everything still worked out in the end. So understanding the importance of accountability and professionalism. However, I could sort of already have a big lead that's growing. So not getting my Christmas Carol tickets the second the sales opened. Another was maybe returning some toys to Walmart with mom. Some of the thrill of it. How many times was Spiderman in danger? The same with Harry Potter. Even though it was stressful, it could've been very rewarding. Thinking of how I kept trying to help my parents and brother. Thinking of times I've had absences. When I thought I almost died drinking and taking add on meds like Olanzapine. To make it through each time.

 So being appreciative for my DC VA med center social worker in that era. And now the different spots there are now. The car ride home the suite being able to walk to Roy's and home again. Hearing triggers that'd outcast me but too rewards for other choices. Now there is the road life. Overnighting. Commuting. Sobriety and being online on the computer. Hobbies like skateboarding and even watching cable instead of doing creative ones for safety reasons. Being moderated. Reinforcing being around my parents and the office hours. The receptionist trekie in the background. So another year in the books. Getting good food the restaurants occasionally steak and cheeses. What to develop and enhance and what to minimize. Years of productivity.

 My 'tannins' requests have been met. When I was interested in not ever getting in debt again or EG Scrooge. My politically correct wants have been met. I can say some things a little unintentionally direct and be tolerated and not have my feelings hurt by others shortness. I try to always give everything a green for go. I thought my reviews were helpful. Wasn't DC a positive experience with what was going on? Trying to focus on business and what to amplify. So the county lesson, centering on things. To have tics and OCD parts about things. The habits repeated. The addictions. So what was I highlighting and adjusting the levels on? What did I want and not want? So what's next with the next president taking office soon. Four years ahead of the Republican party.

I fell for it every time. I openly have a fetish for specific types of white women. Amish Jewish German British Gingers. Features like hair style butt & face. I listened to what people told me about white women. I didn't fight it. I go to Lancaster Pennsylvania and am treated like rock royalty there. However, according to Amish common knowledge I have currently chosen to be in a relationship with my poodle to avoid drama or problems and be a good business man. So there's the one side of lust and fantasies. Then there's the other side of masturbation and maybe even Korean business practices. See universal German things like pickles and kimchi or pork barbeque and hot dogs. The Amish are ultra professional and deliver good quality products. More of it would be my progress with the white women. I was stationed in Deustchland. I learned some characteristics they allegedly like dental and education. I focus on centering on even WWII German like the 19th century businesses li...

 Here was what I was told that got stuck in my head. Sex (addiction) was a vice and furthermore it could be like as accessible as substance abuse or gambling. Thus my interest in it but other details too. Why not be smarter and abstain and focus on business? See how fun it sounds like it could be. I was never very sexually active, so this fantasy was entertained. The taboos the lust the madness the hedonism the joy. But again the logistics. I tried a few times recently but got no where. Trying to talk to women in public. The idea was finding a way of having booty calls. But as a vice to see the plus and minus like cigs or booze EG. Did I miss that opportunity by investing in EG guitar? Being explained the many things I didn't want to happen that I avoided. So is sex addiction real and available or not and more of a desire.

 Interested in my skill tree yet? So how did I allegedly have so many taken care of babies? All I did was what I was supposed to. Also I listened to people all the time. So the first secret I believe could be bringing something to the table like contributing to tourism as a good guest. Next would be maybe masturbation could help so one you can ejaculate that easy and two so you are known for not being troublesome or dramatic. Another could be the military state or the political trends.  So the secret was going to sleep. Another was delivering on deals like my enlistment. After that it was just more bonuses for good behavior probably. There could've been products or sales or deals I thought about. Look at John Lennon of the Beatles, there's probably innumerous litters of him. To have a famous family name that could attract attention. By my financial standing I was able to be a good candidate for women. By being respectful and groomed by my parents I was taken serious.

 Point blank married parents are a higher priority for me. I've tried most all the thrills out there and this one can't be beat. I have references too like JD Salinger Bill Wyman Roy Roger's Steve Ditko as veterans with married parents. More Rodney Mullen Henry Miller civilians. So making my life revolve around my parents, happily. Valuing my parents marriage as being more important then other distractions and confusions. To focus on doing my part like EG being a content creator with married parents. Sticking to that story since day one. To go patronize Roy Roger's since he was a vet with married parents. When I'd make my homemade western movies like him. When I wrote my hand written books like JD Salinger. When I made my perfect albums like Bill Wyman in the Rolling Stones. To accept that I have had other ways of being taken care of. To stay loyal to my nuclear family and extended family. Thinking of how those peoples legacies are still radiant. Isn't it nice t...

 So recently having been a church usher. Liking the gig. Thinking it was mutually beneficial and helpful for me too. Good for my family as well. So being Catholic. Being religious. Reading into the nights posting thinking of being sexually active. To be able to be promiscious.  Enjoying going to church on Sundays. To be a practicing Catholic for a few years in a row now. The fun of fish or bagels during lent. To open the doors for parishioners and guests. I got to daily mass these days and feel like that can be a smarter choice. To pray the rosary with a priest who was educated. To listen to tips for older peoples wisdom. Thankful for my freedom and many blessings in life.

The Costner's is a term for big promises that are somewhat delivered on but there can be logistics issues or powers in place. An example of this was my friend Burnette in TRADOC. So that was an older guy whose like a movie star business man in the crazy world of junior enlisted. Navigating the system from our best ways possible.  So one of these would be like things my military benefits got me and others payback claims. To be specific, women having my kids while I was asleep. Why can't other men have access to this? The screws being turned on Costner for maybe unkept deals or if he ever misused his privileges with an excuse. So some of this is like the third world country style or American trashiness. To be a kool aid advocate. To listen to workers answers for things like comparables and word of mouth. 'We already tried that.' So see big projects wished for that the funding can get cut on. See big goals that are started but sort of pitter patter out and lose steam. See ...

 Always another one. So thinking of events I thought would help me with home ownership. Remember John Moreland? The joys of longterm housing. I have had some awesome housing before from Richmond apartments on campus to Bucknell suburbs. When I saw Dylan I got a ticket with a similarity to my address and the house of the rising sun song. Believing events would help me as a home owner another I missed was the Neighborhood. To get real comfortable at home and see the future. Enjoying my current Luray property. Enjoying days at home and days on the road. So having my dream home. Being a hermit and reflecting on what I saw before like other neighbors. Seeing the story of different neighbors I thought I'd turn into. Guesstimating things and making inferences about them. Some exposure to alcohol or music or being single or having a service companion dog. The joy of settling into the region at a property unless it's sold for a modest upgrade along the line.

So around when I joined the army I got traction with my documentary of my life. Early pictures taken. These days all my files are stored on my external hard drive. I got worried I'd have a problem with that in the future because I saw an event posted at the Birchmere I missed that I read into as being the external hard drive answer.  I wanted to make hard copies of my content. I have so many files stored. There's albums pictures videos. What if I made vinyl records or other merch shirts posters? So I got paranoid the computers and internet were going away. According to Harvey Levin of TMZ he said the internet was going to be gone in the future. Remembering Alexandria when it was less lucrative and futuristic, not as much access to resources. Does time progressing automatically antiquate things or is there an alternative? Maybe the future is different then the inceptions that got in my head. To think of the many pictures I took of the 2010s. Or different highlights in my music a...

 Looking for the reason like to or to not? Well this is America for starters. So my story was I saw the creative full time amateur pro people and thought this isn't worth it. However, I thought I do still enjoy doing my hobbies. Will creative pursuits interfere with your sex life? Well what is a smarter answer to that question? So the dangers of a wild way of life. But of course, assimilation. Why not just use cable tv instead? Why not stay out of trouble by eating a unhealthy diet? To be an artist is potentially foolish and unfruitful. Should you listen to me suggest opening the gates of hell via art? With your entry level background what can you achieve? Want to start your prolific collection? Do you see how seeing other comparable others this could end bad? Listen to the professionals so you can survive cozily.

 Ok so one thing I wanted was to have a studio for projects. I have art supplies and other equipment and resources now. But I don't always use my time on that for reasons like safety or heeding warnings too. I would've liked to do ideas and concepts I had. So there's my sketchbook station, my guitar rack with an amplifier, what else? Painting canvas station, miniatures station, and then the whole house. So doing my own thing, myself. Being a painter guitarist artist hobbyist, other stuff my collections. So referencing pop culture producer tycoons. Dr Dre the Rolling Stones Rick Rubin Mark Wahlberg Claude Monet Andy Warhol Steve Ditko JD Salinger Joseph Heller Rembrandt Jean Luc Godard Michael Kahn Joe Rogan Anderson Cooper. The comforts of home and making material whether it's writing painting music video etc. To have passion and a place to produce at.  The dreams of good recordings. The different formats like vocals piano harmonica camcorder tripods smartphone camera m...

Here's what I woke up to being in between, libido max and guitar. One thing that got in my head bad was the successful admired guitarists who I saw, in hindsight may have to this day still been ostracized. So I don't want my sperm defunct. And I believe rather regularly women have had sex with me while asleep but there's the allure of being a pornstar but that's blocked by maybe the VA and my parents for my own safety? So here's some breakdowns of the names I saw (specifically Black Cat DC) that I identified with: Sonic Youth: pedestrian kookbomb artist jewish tannins affords art supplies Thirtheenth Floor Elevators: mental illness reputable heroic lifetime achievement Television: perpetual masturbation life improvements errors avoided fun lifestyle So I had to close out my bar accounts because of reasons like not drinking on meds or relocation or not going pro with that lifestyle. There'd always be another good point or lesson to learn in addition to ways I gre...

 I propose to you this, is Elvis Presley as easy as John Holmes. Also, is schizoaffective as accessible as HIV?  Moving forward, can I be sexually active and keep my parents married? How can I solve booty calls logistics issues? I want to have passion and live. But I am cautious and don't want to foolishly die too soon. I thought the downside to libido max affecting birth defects was countered with I believe I have had plenty of kids already. What am I supposed to do to lead a joyous life? I have cooperated with others before about illegal industries. I have explained the other side to the drug users and drug dealers. I did this to cover for myself too. My whole life I have had a porn addiction, will it be able to escalate to sex addiction? The delusion of capturing recordings. If I could make homemade pornography starring me. To be a legend and show the world my dreams. Or is it back to simulcra of veterans with married parents Steve Ditko Roy Rogers Bill Wyman JD Salinger? h...

 Dear Taking Back Sunday, I am very thankful for what y'all have done. I was going to, with punctuation, catch up with y'all.  I thought the Eddie Reyes quitting due to hardcore alcoholism was a very cool news story. I thought the Adam Lazarra getting his leg injured was out of this world. I thought the return of John Nolan was amazing. I thought the longterm band players, the drums and bass, were huge being together through all this (Shaun Cooper and Mark O'Connell). More little TBS trivia like liking they did VFW halls. So how it started? I was a kid going through puberty in public school, I found online the group (maybe because of my dad or later a story was his childhood friend a collector them getting me the official real stuff, it was around when mp3.com or something was a site and I was the first to discover Coheed and Cambria). It seemed like the ultimate thing to say, exactly what I wanted, the voices and instruments I'd hear were like things I avoided, my pare...