Hypothetically I was filled with lust that someday would be solved. To yearn for different women. To let the thoughts of those broads from the past linger. Pungent pussies. I retain my academic and military bearing.

Is that just not possible? So how do I keep my parents married stay single and be promiscious? Always the logistics. Aren't there other hedonists out there like me? 

My educated references I have collected all appear to have problems. Then it's back to masturbation and noble hopeless causes. Freely sharing my lessons. But a tit for tat in my way was the education as opposed to the celebrities, see the professor being wild.

I am keeping my obligations. Despite my diagnosis I appear to be rational cognizant and sane. In reality I fantasize about the white women but meet that with safety and discretion and good taste. Would being sexually active ruin my pseudo careers?

So I have not fully learned the adult film industry and more of that sex work. I previously was a guitarist and later was introduced to medicine. Maybe some dreams just aren't meant to come true. Instead I got the more important things in life scored like babies or housing or credit or the military etc.