i got extremely high regularly while on a quest to create masterpieces while dropping out of a accredited university i broke the law and spiraled around like a rockstar producer closing with train trips home again

 here it is the dark marijuana times of freshman year ok so i landed at the very top floor of a 17th story building i had a switch of roommates my next one was a guy from oceanside new york a neighborhood we'd visit one day he was a art school student and jewish um not that that matters like me being 'korean' we'd had somewhat of a bond like when i found a past high school older guy who could hold us down with a place to smoke and some stuff um times tagging along with him his academics

we had to find the party so starting off with the frat stuff (i was so bottled up with end of teenage energies) but then he dug and burrowed his way into finding weed (and later hearing stories of others getting busted and me being one of the few to mostly get away though hearing people tattled on me too) and starting off that lifestyle so some of that trying to get enough weight where you could smoke for free or even a little profit before the later statewide legalization

so then losing all control and falling directly into it so basically not going to any class (days spent lingering and finding opportunities to party then using the cafeteria meal plan in between) really and just getting high all day the first month of school really being so amplified so loud so wild and crazy so pairing the college setting with unlimited freedom spent on drugs and booze and cigs some cozy shell of a rockstar way

how it'd go wake up go have a morning cigarette where the smokers were then see who would be down for something (and my cellphone loaded with numbers to call up and people calling me too) so things like walking to peoples apartments a upperclassmen a townie um or when some students got their own apartments to get out of the dorms some of that the less worry over getting in trouble for hustling breaking down weight distribution

so the added layers feeling so guilty and sad ignoring my parents phone calls on my verizon flip phone um how stoned i was so going on a blunt ride where someone would drive a loop and come back and i'd be like out of my mind like i was in a movie or a video game

so different places finding a spot to get high at outside um smoking in the dorms so times skateboarding when i'd deliver a gram to someone and bring the money back to the dealer um remembering one time it was raining and i got an invite so i rode through the rain to the fan (and learning all the neighborhoods to richmond monroe park campus downtown shocko bottom cary town jackson ward the fan oregon hill randolph church hill belle isle museum district henrico) to the house i'd spend some time at and enjoy the couches the television sometimes drinking forties there the fit of my used clothes a lacoste wind breaker my skinny fit levi's jeans my leather sperry topsiders

so my soul and my physical body being elevated that getting into my system um being safe in some ways not taking drug charge risks but still dangerous too like hearing of homelessness or warrants um so the times kicking off smoking bowls vaporizers bongs blunts that'd be mostly what it was um then chilling with coeds and getting drunk every night

the projects i'd dream up but not have the money or supplies or professionalism entirely to do um my pocket notebook i'd jot down stuff in my field jacket and a borrowed harmonica um being so constipated um fiending for cigarettes and so poor

my vision being distorted and skewed like uncoordinated and in a stupor a haze of weed a little bit scared and a little bit like walking into a mirror maze or some psychedelic trip um like drunk goggles even and when later i thought i might've been slipped cocaine before or harder stuff too um the strains and breeding the science thc sativa indica the dye over me music videos starting youtube

so getting a ride from campus back to home again or just staying when the city would turn to a ghost town or getting wired money and taking the train home again all that stuff before the end with poverty manic highs um military enlistment my hometown looking for parties up there old friends and the passenger seat so waiting at the station having stuff to bring home doing laundry there my unwashed hair and bad personal hygiene um the ride with strangers in the train getting picked up from there my friend who later joined the navy times with him staying at his house his parents had two houses one next to the other and me and him in the other um trying to find some great adventure but mostly having to go poop being poor hooked on cigs um seeking parties that life um