Improving my life. Jotting down some thoughts. Avoiding temptations and sins? The future up ahead.

I've got a lust for life. So anyways. I watched a music video and as always I got all pumped up. Thinking of all the projects I've released. What'll be next? Remembering releases I've done my online portfolio. Views.

Maybe when we move if that goes through I can start painting again. Doing better paintings this time not so quick or ghetto maybe making a new style inventing a new way. Using money on art supplies and maybe this time try to do something with them instead of just holding on to them. Selling them?

Days passing by. Staying vibrant and fresh. Dogs getting older. Injections. Practicing Catholic. Maybe try to quit pornography?

I guess spilling the beans. It looks like we are trying to move to West Virginia maybe Charles Town. So new things to follow up with? Would it be worth checking out Hollywood Casino? Concerts or not?

  • being a painter still being an artist still doing things the right way even if it gets me outcast or other bad outcomes from having integrity
  • what new movies on the way? setting them to private maybe? Waiting to see if I get another house after this move and if so then maybe documenting it? Or not? Having it private. Privacy.
  • would there be any new music? would I consider a new guitar? liking the Gibson hollow body but it has like a $4,000 price tag
  • would I follow up with any of my publishing? Never made merch before. Books records clothes. But the safety? Quitting or changing because of EG Rodney Mullen Bill Wyman not wanting my parents to die early because of them as references. 
  • would I ever be able to start a family? Get married and have kids? Or is it too late? Did that pass me by? Are the women too troublesome? Not wanting to lose my house over that. Not wanting to get divorced. Other problems?
  • painting miniatures. Going to conventions and making movies.
  • reading. Getting around to finishing Big Sur by Heny Miller.
  • continuing to try to help my parents. Meals with them. Will the future be basement life?
So a draft of this? Selling my house. Maybe staying at my parents next house in their basement until I get a new house over there or just staying with them they are my caregivers. Going to the Martinsburg VA. No more Instagram it was a little bit stressful and annoying. No more Tumblr same thing. So setting up a studio to work from. Changes I've made and improvements to my mental health. Is it worth it to post anything to my Sound Cloud account? So maybe use the sketchbooks again? Having those private this time. Drafts of new ideas. Or just stick to using the computer? Maybe work on breaking the porn habit. Commuting back to Alexandria again. Overnighting at my parents house. Cleaning the office. Cleaning their house occasionally. Sobriety no longing for booze or drugs. Being saintlier. Leading a holier life. Reducing and quitting porn?


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Was I a fool to not try to have more sex overseas? Is sex just not plain possible with married parents see the priest extorting us. Am I perpetually alone was that what I wanted? Being confused about what to do having my projects shut down as of now.