Quick write up on the bull shit that never stops. Ahole doctors. Sex longing? Because I am uncircumcised (without privacy or dignity) I am ostracized.

 The state of my union? So I have a VA appointment tomorrow. My lesson was if I don't start talking then the VA acts like they are going to hospitalize me and torture me. The VA did hospitalize me and torture me before a few times and I didn't know why. Because I smoked weed before joining the Army? Because the black men were jealous a plump butted blonde white woman may have had sex with me while I was asleep? So I immediately have to have no dignity or get no respect and share every personal thought inside my head with complete strangers who ignore me make faces at me and disrespect me and talk down to me and are nosey and uncaring or give intentional bad advice or just eat up my time and energy. Then I have to deal with the government. Some may know some of these stereotypes. I have to say the same story to many different people and essentially get no where. No help. Just exhausted. Government workers who find joy in tormenting me. More? America doesn't like veterans. That's how they always treat veterans. Tabs being kept on me.

So I was interested in sex. But the barriers? My parents seem to not approve so there's that. Not having their permission. Different realizations I had about it? Not wanting disease divorce or garnishments. The priests seem like phonies who don't practice what they preach and will be wrong and corrupt blatantly with nothing to stop them. More peoples tactics. Taking credit for my charity. House slaves? Using my charity for sexual quid pro quo with the poor. Getting worn down from rosaries and daily mass. No time or free time. Previously TRADOC. So women problems? Things that can happen even if you are innocent. Always some new blind spot or weak spot being exhausted by new enemies and systems. The catholic church the knights of columbus the VA the government the state of virginia politicians. Also my erections don't last as long now. Women logistics issues independence etc. Lies and bad television propaganda stories. And more? So not getting chances with women. Talking to women in public gets me complaints and police called on me. Not being against starting a family just the reality I've faced. Infidelity. And conspirators? Malicious intent? Not losing my housing over a failed relationship. Seeing many others who failed and more was heeding warnings. Black men. Indian men. Muslims. Cartels. The school system. Communism.

At one point I thought sex would be a phase because I saw Christmas Carol show Scrooge had different phases. I paid for porn and thought that would help but it didn't. Some of that was like thinking it'd be like when I ordered cds and later went to lots of concerts in DC. Never happened.

Dealing with annoying democrats. Being made political enemy.

So do you see my strategy or understanding? I thought I got a paycheck and had my freedom. I thought I had my life under control. Other parts? Staying with my caregiver so they can get paid too. Doesn't that make sense? No one will help. No one cares. The President is a liar. The politicians are scammers. The lawyers are sissies. Entrepreneurs are martyred. Pseudo welfare is the way of life. Spirit breaking people.

My book? Text? Publishing? So I graduated high school and dropped out of college smoking a lot of weed (and it could have been other things)(I think someone injected me with heroine in my feet or legs or toes before when I was in Richmond but I never got addicted because I never consensually did it) because everyone was acting like that was what I was supposed to be doing. I slept with different women but didn't really have any sex because of fears and also cock blockers. I joined the Army and went to Germany. Didn't know Epstein would ever get caught at this point. Didn't really get any 'pizza'. Got basically deported again. Why do I keep getting made political enemy? Childhood friend his grand dad is the senator of Iowa is that what's doing that?

But then other parts. The doctor is an ahole. The doctor just wants to have sex with lots of attractive different women and abuse his power. I don't get anything or get the bare minimum. People intercept me and figure out ways of bothering me and irritating me. The doctor doesn't care about me. The doctor is using me to get a paycheck by crippling me with drugs and bleak scenarios. The doctor will insult my family and me and get away with it. That reoccurring lesson. People trying to kill me. Stories that make sense? Disability pays better than a real job. Stalkers? Enemies? All of the doctors have basically been aholes. If you say anything it gets worse. Talking to myself at length and getting no where. Hostage. Trying to rescue my family but not really getting anywhere. American stories that don't make sense or suck in general.

Oh so a little distracted or exhausted too. In summary? Having to use a reference or being even worsely misunderstood. So in this case it appears to be more Charles Dickens with Scrooge. So being a miser? Business? My parents and brother? 8 years in a row I think of Christmas Carol. No other answer?

So sub literary minor characters. Trautmann and Burnette people who returned to the military at least twice that whole character to be stuck thinking about for a long time. My uncle? Uncle was incarcerated and exposed to heroine. The prisoner in the story. Other literary devices? Settings? The country Luray. Nearby cities Harrisonburg Front Royal. The hometown of Alexandria a sanctuary city. College towns. Student loans and debts. Modern life? The old world. Utilities. Nouns education politics enemies? Blah blah blah. Whose reading? Other stuff the black people the indian people the muslims?

Revolution?

So drugged up and forgetful. People interrupting me. Tactics.