The gays anxiety relief. The girls comfort. The medications in my system. What is there to look forward to anymore? To be mad about the life of a former drop out student for passions and military. Homemade producing and staying tight and busy. What's next for us? School days were insane.

 What is there to be excited for anymore? No more weed or cigs. No more booze. Where's the artschool eye on things now?

As a sober almost 40year old what's there to anticipate now? Losing Commanders games. The high strung gays theatre shows. Back to Charles Dickens and Christmas Carol yearly again?

When it was school and fun. When it was girls. The year filled with friends and activities. More focusing on the blues (most expensive best parts) like restaurants or family.

Times when I was high or drunk or buzzing. Times of nightly college parties with coeds. Traveling with the US Army when I was younger. Seeing projects come to completion like the hobbies.



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