i am crazy but i seem pretty normal now the getting paid from my diagnosis so having a secure future with doctors appointments and lawfulness

 is it as bad as other disabilities i don't know but i have faced stigma before so some of it would be another story was there was a doctor i heard who had his patient agree to let him impregnate his wife and have him raise the kid in exchange for being treated and guarded

so the powerless parts having to take the meds and try to follow the advice um the freedom but then the appointments the check up so other stuff different side effects it was complaints about too many boners then embarrassment about less long lasting erections

um being aware i have a diagnosis though i take my meds as prescribed um the loopy side being aware i can need supervision or moderation or my caregiver a legitimate case um how it started with longterm insomnia and stress and previously maybe drugs

so being watched being okay mostly completely normal though parts like medication addiction or dependence or the doses the issues paranoia hearing voices thinking telepathy is real masturbation um delusions being a little out of it

to today um i take my meds and seem to lead a normal life i have a regular routine wake up around 8 most days and start the day off with activities while too enjoying my retirement my freedom um sleep in a couple days and take a break

so listening to suggestions and hearing feedback not doing some hobbies full time professionally to admire and question some entertainers for example so being ok with where i am at and what i can still do to play guitar or paint or live life



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