a picture of me poor and happy unable to go further before the military recruitment and enlistment my hope for manic projects i'd complete that'd someday bring me great glory and joy

 so i was hungry very hungry i had to use the bathroom and in hindsight maybe my housing was somewhat temporary yet thrilling (right in the vcu campus with a fire escape) and i was developing alcoholism so i had friends who somewhat believed in me (lots of connections who'd respond sometimes) when i had my manic dreams of becoming successful there was the richmond moments (my army field jacket my levi's girl pants my borrowed marine band hoehner harmonica um my laptop and the couch) um not having all the equipment (or time) not making it in different hobby industries um a artschool drop out previously unpaid loan but i was a business major and things seemed to always miraculously land on their feet like a nimble pet cat with keen instincts

before getting heavier better doses of keith richards the rolling stones stuff the precursor to overseas europe um

genius ideas i shared some derived from my dad's projects early social media concepts shared (before there was yelp or google plus or nextdoor) with my literature professor um times so poor how tasty some fried chicken digested in my stomach the aftermath of drug use getting stoned for a little while consecutively (times staring at the music videos the good friends rental house in the fan) before cleaning up the beginnings of youtube those things to watch on there the 'cuckold' lesson

feeling my skeleton my very bones (my teeth too)(and the wind and the seasons)(to walk to belle isle see the james river hear of other stuff gwar iron and wine)(the way my clothes fit a lacoste sweater a blue cardigan a maroon one um my losing weight and the college cafeteria before i was pulled back home and picked up the futon i lost that my mom got me from big lots other stuff too a microwave) as i went to get paid from being a host at a restaurant a mom and pop  my notebooks of ideas i had for media books poems songs paintings a movie so there's my used clothes i found from thriftshops that were name brand and designer in my size um there was falling for different heroes and their legacies their prolific portfolios the discography the bibliography the movies in others portfolios being a fan of all these artists i heard of when there was my ipod or before in highschool ordering merch online my parents house on skyline ct and my old room the holidays coming work at the ice cream shop distant names surfacing rollins mackaye

where did it all go to step outside the days of cigarettes the getting added to stephen l's lease what little food i could afford (the beauty of walmart getting driven there but not taking out any credit all cash only) and times others would take care of me bring me food (morgan at sahara) or do something and my craving for booze the malt liquor forties to drink getting a copy of bob dylan's autobiography the picture of me as a artist with a dream being transplanted to other environments when my brother was in fairfax or springfield me me me

others having me over the times cuddling or spooning um gatherings to attend the parties opinions and others read or look judgement and the debt the next era and getting a little older things changing almost getting to where i could purchase alcohol legally so the outlaw stuff and different minds out there my aunt the college grad librarian her taste and insight my cousin who did two years incarcerated and his rolling stone digestion and genius his commentary his dad the vietnam vet

getting taken to the beach atlantic ave the cold streets no musicians out in the winter my scarf on but too getting told better directions or warnings (irreversible repercussions) the other families involved being off season a mil dad the comedy club the taco bell treat the navy best friend the punk stuff white jacket animal print the group rancid um drinks the television to watch in the apartment or my laptop loaded with porn i had being a guy who masturbated um

where's that now to be alone to see ebenezer s as the answer to everything the miserly budget but the showmanship ronnie wood's shoes um everyone disappeared i sobered up times past i relocated before too um being a hooligan um now i am older and that has vanished um i have a house with a mortgage i pay my parents are ok so's my brother um other faces faded out and washed away 



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