will i be a sex addict i am single and supervised but still see it as a hedonistic daydream hearing of the term thinking it'd be as simple as like substance abuse

 so i think one thing a colleague mentioned to me was that there are vices so basically i think there's substance abuse gambling and sex addiction and from there you have sort of pick one though i have healthcare which may protect me from some of the harsh roughness of some of those so how does it work how does it actually happen how does it go from a thought to a reality um

for years i'd seen that i thought my life was somewhat inadequate for that like being worried about making it in life where am i going to live what will i drive how will i get paid so those being huge barriers also there's the long list of things i wouldn't want to happen not wanting to get her pregnant not wanting to get divorced or married not wanting to a disease though thinking it through hiv seems not too bad but aids sounds horrible

so to play devil's advocate it does sound fun the endorphins in the brain from the act to get laid to get your rocks off um but then too other commitments when i was a guitarist in germany um to be a hero to think of others who may not be able to do that safely the lgbtq stuff too so the hedonism the pure pleasure wouldn't that be cool to just have sex with lots of attractive 'white women'

so aren't i now capable um and i even did background studies before too buying equipment or studies i did like when i watched how to make porno dvds from the mvc sex store um i have a solid house i have free time i am retired and disabled i have paychecks um i am single um i have a car i am around two different lands alexandria and luray um i am somewhat successful

um is that my point in life to find joy um the names of references too john redcorn the cartoon character whose an adulterer the french filmstar manuel ferrara um so integrating that into my regular life practices a catholic too um to film it to host it to have guests and variety the promiscuity so is it just a daydream fantasy or will it be reality 



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