where is the safe mania the thrills the highs

 so looking back i remember how wild i was and how good of times i'd have the chemicals being released in my brain so there'd be marijuana to smoke beer to drink porn and masturbation all those things on top of my dream to create these projects to be a actor like the people i saw in movies to write a great book to make iconic music albums these delusions of grandeur during that era

i tried gambling not that many times i had semi highs from it but i sort of mostly felt like i was losing the whole time um then there's gaming things like video games or dungeons and dragons so addictions that are fun and happy saving through a campaign experience points leveling the party good days with snacks too

what is not too dangerous or other downsides like being illegal what am i still allowed to do what can elicit that state of madness or euphoria remember the old parties and other times while also too appreciating the moment being thankful for all i have my house my car my dog my parents my family my paycheck doing quite well these days

shopping for a quick fix a little spree with picking up stuff for myself groceries clothes and other goods um publishing and hobbies adding to the portfolio that entertainment um there's getting food there's religion being involved with the catholic church going to mass each sunday visualizing that praying being charitable donating to the poor box then breakfast too

activities to partake with the events on the calendar to book before they are sold out looking to the future the crowds and the strangers being in public and the good sides to being alone at home the dorm cafe studio suburb mansion lounge den the different descriptions to the property hanging out doing things i find entertaining which project to start up



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