i am a robot

so when exactly did this start so in the army um when i was in training after meps (see the ears test or the processing) maybe when i first heard tones in my ears right ear left ear and later there'd be meanings to the sounds like reading and describing it another was my eyes being like terminator the arnold schwarzenegger movie character um so once while dealing with schizophrenic treatment telling my doctor that paying attention to the sounds was like winning the lottery like opening a safe and machines um times i set trajectory course for the future the inputs um like sensors or picking up radio signals and other technology like computers sleeping um my skeleton and other parts the holocaust 



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Can someone help with an answer to this scenario? Is this feasible? Should I invest my energy in something else instead? Was instead I meant to have a guitar legacy? Was I tricked and niave? It seems like countless others get away with this and do it the wrong way.

Was this actually to my niave innocent ignorance a extremely stupid idea?

some of my quotes i remembered compiled extracted from fb (that doesn't work)