to rationalize so the quitting and realignment with lawful stupidity ergo still the future realistic specific old men as heroes

 ok so returning here's some all that effort and all the progress (see maybe my opinion of at one time the teletones ghost lovin') to be basically stale until the point of back to the beginning (think not being the writer of les miserables what i heard which could be false was he was barred for basically life) though this time with my essentials probably met the housing and the healthcare mandatoryness or the stateworkers too and my parents so way in the future with basically spirit broken parts (seeing the chance and risks like full time personalities not worth it or having had small nudges away from bliss) while retaining my self confident image (seeing other versions so still some iron cauldron hunger or the supervision peoples weight size or their schedule regular office hours) like not having the parents stranded (or myself stranded two way street right people having their own self defense and power) or not having to deal with law enforcement (people calling the cops and complaints and that whole mentality) a counter being the big chip of the hobbies being like a route to that depiction of home ownership you could see pictures of these even fat or obese just xl for now but these people living grandly like if you get into collecting vinyl records (and hobby hallucinations) or if you get into miniatures and others hobbies see the art school channel like videos or musicians 

ok so the whole it started before the hospital so i was a new home owner and i happened to be on a street i knew from childhood (where foolishly i reminisced for richmond the campus vacation like walking to belle isle to smoke buds and other times drinking forties on the river these things undangerous then with the bohemian or the free spirit) but so the first one is i'd see some cops i think it was sheriff (and i suspected a neighbor called a prostitute one day and was going to kill themself before being put in a old folks home basically and lots of others around that radius and generation) go up the street and be terrified at the time i think it was a 10yr window for potential danger the two i was waiting on to clear were marijuana before and a vandalism favor that would still require stuff but then now some missed boats like england or other adventure starter sets but the deal now being pretty good not being sad over mom and dad but so i see the guy next door across the street so he's sitting in a lawn chair outside regularly and people come see him and that was when i was logically understanding the va healthcare i really couldn't escape due to some circumstances so there's that one then more and more of those slight variations of each like in school having those friendships for help um veteran families with nuclear kids um so now getting more into the details it's like seeing someone involved with hobbies openly and famously versus another who seemingly is offline unknown but with a second of someone polishing it'd be just as good and gross like being on maybe a nicer part the border of belle haven 

so having later inferences of others a friend who we had a common interest to get high but so his inisght like on the later revealed american bollywood and d list celebs (was that jono at a scene concert when we were kids and did he know the different myspace heroes) or more on those dynamics the fbi watchlist (other stuff royalty free) the piracy the file shares the pointlessness so his under his wing like being shown a bob dylan recording on youtube a original young aged blowin' in the wind or maybe others mr tamborine man then to no show or seemingly free ones bruce springsteen man down under and cable so there was the daily show (to today understanding some 60s but mainly just a few not like the compilation of then most weren't picked so that being like looking at rolling stones albums and musing over that so there's december's children or between the buttons oh green grass and high tide um through the past darkly) 

so from here there was parts like missing the adventure but in hindsight not wanting the trouble of it being under the spell of keith's book hearing him say he was in between police arrests for a while or cold turkey as opposed to my complacency etc go to the appointments stay the road and set the trajectory and it was the like letdown or not being like some heroes at some times but then other names for other reasons and other names then easier ted nugent seemed like he had a few hits then just retired from the industry

so some of the constraints:

• my va pay my va healthcare my va appointments (eg i was seriously into moving overseas at one point different things that made different ways of life so being regulated for the seemingly forever) my benefits 
• my families well being and our security like the caregiver stipend or the company business the real estate and freedom 
• not being homeless so longterm housing um staying retired and disabled 
• previously it was passion about producing like making new content and additionally progressing this now is a grey area where for example i didn't know or confirm if people did that by court cases like someone getting put in jail for that then that creating the way for that pursuit of passion
• not returning to duty i don't know if i can remember more then not dealing with police avoiding hospitalizations um though as repeated those weren't the worst it's not like jail all the way 

so not breaking rules and how much gusto and zest do i have for my plan for tomorrows 

the thing i was saying was like not dealing with police harassments for arguements so the lesson with american parts like intellegencia or things i learned like censorship or exclusion um how parts can be run and not going against that anymore might be the lesson countered with my journalism certificate or all the projects i shared from my portfolio that conundrum like to get this far and stop and then be straddled with mollycoddling being nice reading but how those can influence you or change your rationale