as a miser with goals my own life and interest with others on follow up with homemade media releases

so i previously in a ignorant fashion was somewhat generous and extravagant if i saw something i liked i'd purchase it now there may have been different things that caused that to change like believing muslims could be trying to mess with me or being cheap based on what happened last time (liking the military but that as like a flight path straight to mil from money issues or other stuff like wormholes) so the other night i was understanding something we were having mexican for dinner it was that maybe a story i heard of gene rodenberry a riff about the producer and the stars maybe some of that is like harvey weinstein or thinking of ghetto jokes with dc times like subtle humor maybe mixed on that different things then other topics that like thinking a few things a beautiful piece or a good provider 

my brain is going through confusion from the drugs 

so there's me with my equipment and time and other stuff my experience but maybe other things in the background those years of haldol and how that may have made people repelled by me and as stated with peoples maybe mixed distaste for stuff like opinions on mil benefits clint eastwood or others unfair advantages hearing rumors so some things i was exposed to and how earlier demos were there were years and years of me not documenting my stuff but maybe hidden cameras or other industry leaders um maybe not having the rights or just meandering 

so being professional i just thought it'd be simple make some content (like we could schedule a off day for the person and start rolling from there maybe like the mtv made part with it being reality but not necessarily some slanted message) not getting into other stuff out there like sex (see the guest male cameo there life not being like a premeditated sex predator though i am straight that being something said it could be a gay and jewish industry) or gainful employment (unpaid gig um build rapport or something see invisible money bitcoin) or social work (see wanting to do stuff my way maybe would certain people be issue prone or maybe other hiccups not getting anyone really to go forward with) just thinking naively like when people wanted to be like the media (people acting like the recordings) and then me wanting to actually do that (let's make something and post it) so a next step 

another a story on just do it while being aware of insurance to avoid injuries and that's a good thing just start don't keep putting it off if you can do your part like how many people have a guitar but how much practice or producing goes into that other things telephoned 

so reality documentary stuff um my end and who will be interested in collabing thinking of getting everything laser cut would it be different then buying a movie ticket like would some incentive be needed like a pizza or is it more the people who are in that business being right like it's not worth it like if i were to discourage people from guitar or university 

i guess my aim was well now my brain is being stopped by the meds unable to think or can't concentrate but i reread and don't quit 

trying to say the thoughts on this it was some of the plays (and other events lots of the music visuals and movies) i went to there message some personalities too those ticketed activities the message to some of these plays 

• dracula vampiracy
• proof a professor dealing with mental illness 
• a christmas carol ebenezer scrooge from british dickens 
• the panties the partner and the profit the heroic lives of the middle class carl sternheim german playwright tale different parts on stage
• waiting for godot college lit 
• camelot knights and king arthur vintage english
• the lover and the collection pinter british um 
• measure for measure 
• les miserables victor hugo 
• shakespeare royalty free