blake uptin

 I used to be a fully open book. Now I've decided to have some privacy. I thought there can be people out there who are just plain malicious and don't have my best interest in mind. I lasted a while with my public airing of my celebrity lifestyle. There's probably things I've said that could make me look foolish. It'd take too long to set everything to private. Rather than lose all that material I left some of it up. I don't know why people want to hurt me but they do stuff like that often and anonymously. I don't know the motives for these bad behaviors. Rather than continue I've stepped out of the lime light. Was I an internet celebrity for a while? Maybe some bad viewers ruined it for everyone and thus I backed down and took a lot of it down. Wasn't what I had nice while it was there? I did it with integrity and for free. It was quality home made material. Remember the old Nesbitt show?

 Here were some of the basises for friendships that I have learned and experienced: weed I was with the stoners before seeing all the 420 friendly paraphernalia  money how many times were there sugar daddies or sugar mammas or that dynamic someones generosity being a foundation for friendship see a boss paying you for a service or job music I definitely remember being apart of the various music scenes from merch to live nightlife when it was DC Birchmere Fredericksburg the list goes on alcoholism see the spiral of the bars and drinking in general seeing it in others others caught in that vicious loop of getting drunk substance abuse in general I've seen the heroine users before and fortunately wasn't introduced to it but there's the junkies and the druggies see cigarettes those conversations university see the college towns see the parties and the drop outs see places like Richmond with VCU Harrisonburg with JMU Front Royal with Christendom Alexandria with NOVA community co...

 A deep value that was instilled in me in the army was I will never leave a fallen comrade. With that I feel like I have an obligation to my parents. I revolve around them for both of our best case scenarios. I would be devastated if something bad were to happen like divorce. I've had fantasies of other things before like relocation or hobbies but those were never as high a priority as sticking together. I keep coming back to my parents and me as a source of business and joy. I feel like it's like a law to be there for them. I remember them raising me up and being there for me my whole life. I feel like by my being there we can avoid bad outcomes. I feel like being in the background can contribute to our good futures. I eat basically all my meals with them to stay tight. I also go to weekday mass every chance I get and pray the rosary there. I remember all the times my parents have helped me. I remember growing up and being a boy and living in their house. I am thankful I got t...

 Does my military service give me an exemption from having married or tried to have kids? What I mean is how many military relationships seem almost completely doomed? Because I joined the Army and did what I was supposed to do I now have an excuse on that topic? I had to make my whole life the Army until I got out. I had to go in so I could get money to pay off my student loan. My time was spent in formations and doing PT so I could pass my PT tests. I have been doing what I was supposed to for my entire life. No breaks. Were there times women may have had my babies during this? I don't think I really had any options. I had to do my job in the Army rather than be punished otherwise. I've seen my dads friends have issues and learned from their problems. When all those opportunities were there I never really could meet the requirements. I didn't want to neglect my parents. I had to think of my brother and other family. I wasn't making enough money to stay afloat. Now it...

  Welcome computer smartphone and internet users. Here's a list of social media sites I am aware of: Facebook - log in or sign up Instagram x.com Trending topics on Tumblr Nextdoor LiveJournal: Discover global communities of bloggers who share your unique passions and interests. YouTube xvideos https://www.blogger.com/ LinkedIn: Log In or Sign Up DeviantArt - The Largest Online Art Gallery and Community https://mail.google.com/ Electronics, Cars, Fashion, Collectibles & More | eBay That's about all there really is. Additionally how many are actually used by people or not? I have media I've shared before. To engage with others and have a network. Comments friend requests likes picture uploads videos tags etc. Here are some additional sites I have not used that I am aware of: TikTok - Make Your Day Less social media. More Snapchat.

 I am not really a social worker (former PAO though) but what really network is there now? My parents and I will walk Costco sometimes and pick up some stuff. I guess I tried the music nightlife scenes before. Then there's being a practicing Catholic. There's the issue I see with my brothers kids for the debate of college or not. The con being the debt but the pro being the experience. Where's some form of good time for us moving forward? After school ends what's really left? Dad runs his game night and that's exciting to be around. Furthermore with that there's the quarterly conventions to look forward to. I removed substance abuse from my life permanently I believe. But is that what I really wanted to be alone instead of bogged down with the boys and not enough girls? I believe confessing a big barrier was when in the military some close roommates maybe being against the ongoing party and fun for the rest of civilization. So that being where some stuff may hav...

Did the nightclubs help me? Was at the time being a guitarist my best choice?  Basically were the warnings all true of all the bad things that happen to people? Was everyone telling the truth? So there was the dynamic of the black men. Was I just uncapable of starting a relationship? Was for a while my full time job guitarist? Were the women just going to put me in problematic scenarios? You hear of the problems gay men are aware of domestically. You see others made examples of them left with regret and anger. You know there's no insurance in relationships. Is it worth it to still try after all? Was I just cornered into a bad spot for a long time? Or was that what others figured was the best thing I could really do from there? See masturbation and being alone and single for a long time. See not getting issues I was weary of like disease divorce or garnishments.