blake uptin

 ok so first off there's how much money you make what job you have then there's how much education you have then there's what kind of car you drive then there's where do you live then there's other stuff like have you ever been divorced it seems a little ridiculous but people can really be that insensitive and direct in deciding how you rank up with your background so me i have not been given a chance before based on some of that um people can be just down right mean and nasty so then there's other options like considering a philipino wife for example that can be smarter too and work out much better and things like planning to start a family um so how to present yourself maybe you can get creative to have understandable and better answers for any deficiencies you might have like if your car isn't that good maybe be in a walkable area or have something tasteful boost up your hobbies for creativity um have a web of friends be a entrepreneur um have ways of str...

 ok so is it better to go die on top and like in better condition than to die suffering like having been exposed to 'sodomy' so the cool side to some of these names the big one elvis but like the wild stuff the unhealthy stuff being lively and young hearing patrick swayze was a cigarette smoker um so continuing on the sort of somewhat 'wrong way' um eating fast food taking prescriptions following the rules to um no illegal stuff really but the visual the fun stuff the risky the crazy and free to see dreams and live them so not stopping my hobbies maybe maybe that's better off to produce to make movies write manuscripts blog write poetry journal um go to events to play guitar play piano record albums write lyrics free style um to paint to do miniatures to collect all that stuff so how great my life is me retired me somewhat famous me happy me being able to do what i want the good times to be in the limelight to be unstoppable to continue along a good path my influenc...

 here's a big one i heard how you could set out trying to become a celebrity and never really get anywhere doing that but there could be ways of getting along better while still getting to do things you wanted like joining the military seemed to be a huge help and suggestion from concerned colleagues i could get through just fine with that um another may have been i was going to be an amputee if i deployed so people covering for me and showing me a way to a not as bad situation with disability the medication psychiatry um getting counseled by a doctor you could try that and all types of things could go wrong so being glad i didn't get divorced and have any other bad things happen custody child support um so another could be not knowing if you are the father of a kid who you are going to have to support for the rest of his life the drugs change it's not just smoking weed and being a teenager forever and you can get busted so times i adjusted my course from there i now will c...

ok so the first step in my post high school learning was i moved to rva that basically sums up a whole entire portion of college i left my home town and transplanted somewhere else where i focused on my dreams and what i could do within my introductory capabilities so basically what that means was there was the gravity of money what i could afford so i had to work jobs to cover me while i fantasied about what i'd be when i grew up um so i went to the library i had at one point set out to write a book but then as i was surrounded and immersed with art school students  i branched out to thinking of other things i could do if i had the equipment and resources so later on i published writing made my own movies um played music how i wanted to um i used to skate and longboard um so having access to the internet was paramount in making progress later on i'd use youtube i remember once i found a video of john frusciante teaching me how to play under the bridge um there were other thing...

 so here's one i had fun with but it didn't work out at one point i thought under the rules in place for how to do something that being copy a old famous one being the answer so i thought of pkd philip k dick the disabled crazy (like me with mental illness) scifi writer so i had a good time along the way (watched documentaries about him) i wrote up some stories sent some letters to publishers but it didn't work out quite how i wanted it to so as always with many stories i found something i couldn't do like the illegal drugs other many names i admired too but would see how i couldn't do it like jack kerouac clint eastwood bob dylan stan lee hugh hefner some veterans there too um so when i was going to be a 'sex addict' um the progress i made but getting stuck and not continuing um thinking of manual ferrara or marlon 'sledgehammer' anderson to name some without tattoos or i think they both are intact or have foreskin or are 'uncut' um later me...

 it was unbelievable how much fun we had um so when did it start being fourteen years old sneaking someones parents booze from the liquor cabinet at a rock show trying to make out with babes loud music and puberty my parents 'substance abuse' that was the 'social work' term um so we gradually got introduced to marijauna um let's see there'd be being young doing that pairing it with something video games coffee and cigarettes um first jobs and showing up places stoned cannabis and the movie theater where someone would sneak us in free um late nights at home watching internet porn tubex bangbros 30 sec samplers reality kings clips that leaked ok so where was i um basically here was what i was warned and promised forgot from where but anyways it was some people not condoning the use of 'illegal' drugs so it was that i'd get incarcerated and basically have my life ruined i had seen others made 'example' before who lived that life and received pun...

ok so here's why i remember some of these things like it helped me grow as a for example guitarist or i could click that over and over again and have no issues um it was a lot of fun the real mind mapping on it plotting my future along so reviewing a lot of shows i went to during the 2010s and as i've repeatedly mentioned two dc championships happening during that caps and nats um will all those really come back for me and boost me into a better place i don't know kepi ghoulie a successful solo guitar player u2 the experience innocence tour the catholic background a professional u2 the edge and the rest rolling stones the lifetime alliance for income backing um seeing keith and all of them this was before charlie died fu manchu the california style mall clothes stoner metal a longterm band skateboarding taking back sunday the cool picture of them as adults still in the game  a christmas carol the ebenezer scrooge miserly answer story les miserables the students and the gove...

 ok so other people may have brought this to my attention the faces made and little snippets said hinting about the joys of guitar life so some of that would be like i can masturbate or do it myself  (and the reasons for that) not to be vulgar um so a big one would be thinking of it as like a habit or utensil like a smarter nuance to do like different conversational pieces caffeine college bikes art appraisals wood furniture beatles discography fried chicken a picnic basket and blanket scenic drives so pairing things with it there's like tea and the formalities with that there's all the names of modern guitar players i liked fu manchu television kepi ghoulie the rolling stones bright eyes seu jorge fugazi jane's addiction smashing pumpkins misfits red hot chili peppers ramones sonic youth aaron watson camper van beethoven the beach boys the strokes les paul just to name a few and each's specific style and contribution to the crowds the hair styles the foot wear the outf...

 ok so start to make progress how to achieve your goals ok so do it actually set a plan and follow through with it and if you have an issue find a way of remedying it so you can do what you are capable of safely and begin to advance as you move toward your goal ok so if there is a opening for you to join in do it participate i encourage you to try and also to learn how to do what you want so put one foot in front of the other make that first jump hum along clap be good in the audience listen to your instructors persistence so do no quit keep trying and see if you can make progress try again and again and practice use your time to develop your skill watch as you get more comfortable from simply trying and building your muscle memory it could be lots of stuff guitar painting skateboarding longboarding basketball weight lifting making movies education repeat good habits be stubborn make up your mind that you won't accept defeat and that you'll make it you could try having a health...

 ok so i no longer drink and i am mostly 'straight edge' so noticing that i may have more money while not dealing with addictions so no more daily packs of cigarettes no getting high on marijuana um no going to the bar and basically being 'clean' so what to do with the money well for one there's putting some into savings that can be smart and i can be happy about that later on um then there's other stuff the option to buy some nice clothes occasionally the recent lacoste sale was fun sometimes there might be some splurges here and there going to walmart and seeing what toys they have maybe those will help me and also be collectible um so getting some goods tech decks action figures um that fun that being young and helping my family too my parents the option for charity so donating to the poor box that being karmaic and wise um donating to the food drive being generous and thoughtful to understand others troubles and be thankful for where i am at now um to help t...

 ok so in some ways thinking marriage would just be trouble for example things like divorce prenuptials custody adultery those being just a few things that can go wrong and it could not even be your fault so what options are there while staying single a dog i am so glad i have my poodle he is a really good dog and has been a great friend so he's easy to take care of walk him feed him take him to his grooming appointments um he's house broken so usually he won't go to the bathroom indoors a comrade so seeing that work in other stories there's once upon a time in hollywood enjoying that so brad pitt as cliff booth and him helping leonardo dicaprio the wingman the bud um liberace i think i heard he was an assistant for someone other male male stories tim armstrong and lars frederickson mick and keith paul and john tom brady and bill belichick a caregiver so that dynamic that layer having moderation being supervised not getting in trouble following the rules um so me with m...

 ok so i thought someday me and my whole family my brother my brothers kids his spouse and my parents we'd someday have everything work out perfect and i'd buy a detached house on the waterfront by the boardwalk at va beach and from there it'd be the next great adventure um then all the 'reality' things came out about why it wouldn't necessarily work some being like what my budget is or there being an actual hoa or a pseudo hoa um not getting kicked out that is but then um not wanting to do a condo or how our business is not there now anyways what i saw was my parents would enjoy their retirement i'd have a great visual like one was i saw their was a wounded warrior project activity at va beach i think it was surf lessons where btw i thought helping my old roommate would continue to help me very much so that incentive um then there'd be fantasies about my property and being like a mtv cribs rich celebrity whose enjoying his days doing what i want a compl...

 ok so first off dispelling incorrect stigma about it like social work being for poor black people and drug users instead thinking of equal opportunity and making progress and even enhancing and embracing a sense of 'community' so where to begin ok so from my desk what is there there's the events i tried for years go online see what's posted be punctual and professional safe enough and useful enough going to see professionals the sales pitch schpeel on entertainment um so the backgrounds different demographics and characteristics so it's me being open minded yet not entirely naïve and foolish (and getting best case scenario 'deals') to think too of other eras 'scenes' and their involvement mandatory public school fredericksburg slam dancing hardcore metal um the stoners smoking um the college party um the barracks web of what to do um the different 'specific' bars um going to the va hospital my dad and mom's connections middle school skat...

 ok so participate and maybe there will eventually be some progress but actually maybe i was wrong seeing how far i've came over the years um so places like linkedin facebook tumblr deviantart youtube studiobinder gmail blogger livejournal instagram soundcloud twitter (there's ones i don't use pirate bay the silk road protonmail reddit) um so basically make your display like your current scenario that could have influences like your housing your vehicle things you are interested in um that's a start have a homepage and personalize your computer the wallpaper for example um update your account occasionally maybe a new profile picture post galleries you can use activities to do that and have your portfolio uploaded and you can use an external hard drive to share your files as you go on there's video game clubs too so get in touch add friends network meet new people comment on other peoples blogs and pages join a discussion post or a forum share ideas do receipt survey...

ok so what's outside well to remember other times remember playing in the streets with the neighborhood friends um remember field trips what about parks and nature um there's times where there will be a line wrapped around the building or another would be when there's a college campus all the students and faculty hanging out or another would be a military installation the formations and people on their way places the smoke pit for some so streamlining things even taking some suggestions to heart um so no more tobacco or drugs so being clean lawful and appropriate when's the time to go outside in between driving somewhere where else when there's a walkable neighborhood leaving your house like when i'd go to the shopping center or the metro so hearing each year you get older things can change more and there can be less of the socializing um thinking of when people do tours and live on the road seeing all the different places um so going outside there can be sports...

 ok so welcome here's a picture to share it was me packed up and day one night one at the dorms in richmond so i smuggled in some alcohol and we drank and searched for and found a party meanwhile i was under the propaganda influence of celebrities i was fresh from high school and participated with entertainment i could access movies concerts books artwork um so with that i lived freely and got the source material for my life to come as a blossoming freelance hobbyist and from there can pinpoint parts that can be savored for others and become source material for quality content to post so to get a bohemian subterranean good time going drive to bob and edith's diner um drink at a bar on the weekend um delve through the thriftstore see your future trajectory maintain your vehicle pay your bills ok so first off make the most of where you live so you could think of being minimalistic to save money you could think of doing some details to make it more cosy things like maybe putting a...

robert pattinson so a story i heard that i thought was really cool was his dad owns like a tasteful car dealership that's specialty stuff too so that was impressive um also i'd like his style and nice things he gets spike lee a good part was his parents didn't divorce so his film directing seems cool and some of it realistic um i'd like his style like wearing designer clothes and maybe trashy ideas that work bill wyman so i liked the rock and roll origin story his parents not divorcing um him being in the background with the rolling stones a huge group um him living on royalties in his hometown and the divorce making sense and him doing ok with that (actually while were at it many guitar players i liked) ronnie wood so hearing of his divorce and that making sense and him being rich and able to get things that'd be enjoyable cash answers and his story of quitting smoking also him being an artist was cool the paintings he's a back up stones guitarist henry miller ...

 so what sounded cool was somewhere i heard gaming could be as addictive as heroine and like many very good reviews for dungeons and dragons so then i'd think of all the ways the games can be presented that people can 'get in on' so there's board games table top games video games casino floors um dice cards online ones lots of them so to get really sucked into it so some stuff i heard one was a slang term for it was 'lights' and it was like figuring out how to get the next thing and that being logical another i heard was it could be was 'mind mapping' where you plot along to an answer and progress further so some of it i'd think of was like when i'd go to dc live music events i'd see the name and show up (and didn't really have any issues for the time i was there) so thinking of that 'itch' that 'craving' so it 'd be like when people stretch it out to getting something going a game of monopoly the war gaming um a hand ...

well let me say this yes this can be wrong too but it's this the 'wrong way' can seem at times shiny and impressive in comparison to the 'right way' isn't dave chappelle pretty funny and he broke the law and figured out how to smoke cannabis though there can be hard counters where there's legal names who are professional and highly regarded laurence olivier formally trained and educated eg so from what i saw in some ways it was a competitor to the later answer of 'mil benefits' so some of that was like the high i'd get and the look of the times when it was metalcore in sophmore year getting those cds to listen to when it was completely civilian and unlimited freedom um the look of each step further the college with peoples first apartment and drug dealers continuing to make further and further progress having a open bong having couches having a steady income of cash having coed names to get in touch with so here's where there may be some devi...

begin with thinking maybe ask for help so if you are having a problem maybe try going to a store that has some idea of what you're dealing with and ask for help (maybe someone can start to point you in the right direction) that begins the very process of journeying to getting through with your point  think of a symbiotic apprenticeship give and receive both parties can mutually gain so what to do me myself being similar in the informal education process with no real background in some ways so you can try self teaching so if you're broke you can go to the library for free (and don't get late fees be punctual) if you have some money you can research something from online like a book ok so maybe try working together with others on this you could consult with family and friends and colleagues to advance and grow so understand too that for example being a business owner it can become a all engulfing endeavor to make your dream come true with focusing on your career and streamlin...

 i have an older brother and that may have conditioned me to different thoughts (eg not fighting) anyways here's this one it's like having a 'big guy' friend so like if there's likely (eg at a party) to be a fight or a chance of that knowing someone who could protect me someone who would dwarf the competition see weight lifters and other traits tallness so then other male friends so like one would be when you see lifelong band mates like keith and mick or paul and ringo or the eagles tim armstrong and lars frederickson the punks or even animal lovers jake the dog and finn the human from adventure time superman and his dog um so some of that being like a pseudo team or sticking with not a marriage forever but that connection but the part about sustaining that as opposed to just letting it wither and disappear so the 'bear cub' stuff some of that rationale thinking of all the things that can go wrong with a heterosexual relationship like for example divorce an...

 so my short glimpse of life in the military a cool story was once at the va seeing a guy with a tuscgee airman hat talking to him for a second it was cool when he said where he'd been and it lit up like a video game map the names he said like 'panama' i think was one so there's the whole system for formal inclusion with the military there's the social work stuff too so it's like active duty was a temporary thing i went through then there's be the gatherings the common grounds like the grills by the barracks or the smokers or weekend partying ramping up and the day room or other stuff the unit the motor pool um but now that's gone and i am retired (and disabled too) so it's like one good source of joy starting off early was the am vets thrift store there's one on sherwood hall lane so that was um the veterans seeing the other generations too and other charming depictions of them some rough people maybe 5-10 years older than me them surviving and ...

 ok so there's so many times that there can be a probably good idea (see the counter of 'american stupidity' dumb is smart) but it is not trending yet so some of that would be like riding a scooter that can be a good functional idea and even more of it like the 1960s mods community so having an obstacle and figuring out ways of getting through still you could walk somewhere and get a little exercise for example don't be so concerned with public opinion and think more of what your goals are what if you were to ride a bicycle to places and get errands done or pick up things you needed think of the big objectives first then make the rest work you have your housing then what's next would you like a hobby to pass the time with or some other entertainment so what brand of clothes will you wear or would you consider shopping at a thrift store picking through there for good stuff at a bargain um i guess there's some barriers in the way like not getting embarrassed from ...

 ok so i sell a dream it's like a fantasy so here's something you want something but then there's cheaper more competitive streamlined choices (compare hyundai and ford both good for different reasons from the dealership)  available like a house party as an answer (cater that rsvp that) so some of this would be the entertainment department for socializing like there's my pseudo record label or my homemade movie releases (things that you can learn and build upon) what else um the look of going out into the community and developing and advancing with your particular interests the progress with your custom projects different hobbies to get better at and improve even further welcome to your life so decorate put up a poster on the wall get your room at your parents house booming with another landline phone see your trajectory and plan your course or your own flat screen tv to use have that in addition to your network your crew your cliques your connects make your rental like...

 the contrast of hard times like staying in a hotel as an unknown that back to your deal on your place so there's different demographics with their own characteristics (blacks puerto ricans hispanics whites different ages and other backgrounds and notes hipsters dorks gamers substance abusers singles and the social work too) and traits the asian home so tea shoes off inside then there is the 'engroovements' the cozy spot on something so a computer room and the different times it's used the night time night owls a drink on a coaster the world wide web and unlimited opportunities out there um the rappers recording studio guitar players and rock and rollers the different personalities out there a stoners set up and assured 'squatters' their fun side balanced and countered with style and a welcome place to stay punks hippies folksters um metal heads the different stores hot topic spencer's the post exchange stocking up and groceries too the different 'ritual...

 so maybe my nephew having him be helpful and useful and a source of amusement so some of that there was a band 'dream cast' who the concept reminded me of the vintage gaming console and that ghetto and funny in real life too like that being a persons job sort of so some of that um if i got him a scooter or if in the future he helped me so maybe that instead of a spouse some family who'd be supportive um liberace helping elton but not gay or anything um the beach boys having their kids in the band and that cool picture the suburbs the hangouts the boardwalk bikes the beach going over to a friends house the band start up garage rock the different times of the year fall winter spring summer what about drugs or social work so the look of the other owners them being there forever um seeing the different seasons come and go and limited edition seasonal stuff football baseball concerts events basketball and noting things about them maybe cable maybe descendants kids in the house ...