Books I tried writing? Tropic of Cancer. The Catcher in the Rye. A Christmas Carol. Stone Alone. The Subterraneans. Everyone is reading and viewing my private content messages personal vids. Thanks.

 Explaining another one?

So referencing writers and noting details about each. All of these it said had married parents. Off the top of my head there is:

  • Henry Miller he was an expat before, I did that once but quit. So relating to writing Tropic of Cancer. Getting stationed overseas in Germany. So parts like did he neglect his parents by going out on his own as opposed to staying around and helping? So doing stream of consciousness. Being a womanizer? The wild stuff? Adventure? Getting older. Being an artist.
  • JD Salinger people disparaged his reputation saying he was a pedophile. So he wrote a great American book that is a banned book. So I was a drop out like him. Am I now a hermit from my pseudo fame? People harassing me and me needing privacy? So I wrote my books in the Army with TRADOC and quit before taking it to next levels. Small victories I had instead to be conservative and objective on realistic wins. See him writing for his whole life but being outcast I guess. Or him marrying a younger girl too. He did the Catcher in the Rye. I think I heard a rumor his dad died early and they had an issue. Uncertain. Don't want that drama.
  • Charles Dickens so he had fathered lots of kids. His bread and butter seems to be Christmas Carol with Scrooge. Thinking of helping my family and doing the best I can seems to reference this. Less suicides and issues everyone scraping by Tiny Tim. So a downside was it said his dad went to a debtors prison but got released too. Is that avoidable or is that the best case scenario? Seeing this play yearly in Old Town Alexandria. So being conventional and also staying alive myself. A long lifespan. Victorian. Aristocratic.
  • Jack Kerouac. So that'd be me having fun I guess? When I used to go to the live music venues and drink alcohol? But issues no more smoking drugs or breaking rules due to the VA. So seeing my early project like the Subterraneans from him that book. So having friends. Not growing up? Living with my parents before. He was a beat and friends with Allen Ginsberg. It said he died early. The high the delusional day dreams the community?
  • Bill Wyman. He was a founding member of the Stones. Friends with Keith Richards. Uncircumcised? Seeing his group with people who disappeared and relating to them the Cliftons. So conventional pop. Touring. Having married parents. Rock and roll. I think the internet which could be wrong said he favored his mother and his dad died early not wanting that.
So constraints and parts from me? Helping my parents trying to keep them well. As repeated before thinking of Obama with healthcare? That campaign. So keeping them alive and well. Putting that as a priority. What else? Has marriage passed me? Was I living under a pen name? Did I father children before in the past? Blake Uptin Lake Blutomski BTU. 

So projects? My youtube channel my videos. My photography those pictures through the years. The celebrity lifestyle? So my blogs. My writings poetry manuscripts etc. With this next chapter of life getting cozy at my parents house. So the Hollywood Casino. Events again? 

What character am I projecting now? Yearly Xmas accountability with the family Dickens. The wild nightlife scene Kerouac a veteran the manic the appreciation for arts and culture the son of a loving marriage the parents the walker. The older charming writer like the Number 5 on Umbrella Academy Salinger a US Army veteran West Point drop out logistics and priorities family voice of a generation the by product of requiring privacy. So the rebel outcast acclaimed author with relocation Henry Miller to do it all young and then coast out from there. The musician the journalist the former military a retiree so Bill Wyman British.

What's coming next? New videos? New photos? Posters? Would merch ever be released? Pulp fiction? Sharing material online? My releases my way. Would I ever be able to have a baby that I got to raise? So commuting from WV to Alexandria. Getting new furniture.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

some thoughts on religion and money

Image
 so i did see that the father in the catholic church can be a massive power like if you think oh i have to pay for every song and show up different answers about that and not going to how you got to that so a different choice and two another option hmm thinking other people could be a father figure so there was dr machmer and another robbie t so that being maybe single male power whether that's like the melting pot restaurant regularity or the africa peace corps money different things going on on that so gamblers making sense of anything the water essence from owners  another so there's the it was oh the bob dylan story so that being like like keith that falling under spells (heroine guitar hobo legend um) someone whose like this not possible figure and maybe that groups tricks on it when i ignorantly was fascinated with the jewish community (thinking things like world wars holocaust) so explaining it some um the term i told taking back sunday in a comment was like a dalai lam...
Read more

I sold out for a paycheck. Now I can't break rules like smoking weed anymore. Thus things can be bland at times. So from here what is there? Days with my parents and dog. The pool shopping overnighting. Hello benefits and improvements.

Image
 It now dawns on me that Jack Kerouac actually made a lot of sense. So let me begin. I use the VA for my benefits and follow thus rules. Thus I have found at times I can be bored out of my mind. I can't smoke weed and on my meds I can't drink anymore. So what's left? I can jack off occasionally I have video games I have a dog. I live near my parents who are my caregivers. So I can go shopping I can do surveys. But the fun of youth is gone. Maybe I should stay positive and optimistic. I get excitement out of dad hosting his weekly game nights. The party is over. No more freshmen year of college. No more starting AIT in TRADOC. But maybe things are still going along? There's still writing and studying.
Read more

Was I a fool to not try to have more sex overseas? Is sex just not plain possible with married parents see the priest extorting us. Am I perpetually alone was that what I wanted? Being confused about what to do having my projects shut down as of now.

Image
Was what i actually wanted to do be sexually active? But going back when that stuff was available there were always issues like housing income passion (even family obligations) etc. Another part would be in general the issues with logistics see the men with power over the women cutting me off like the government the school system the military the work force etc (complaints and police). So was I the whole time actually just trying to be promiscuous (but how many times did the references on that stop doing what they wanted like David Bowie or Anthony Kiedis EG)? I didn't know sex work and still haven't learned that much. For example prostitution is illegal. So I have tried the paid pornography and that seemed to show normal sexually active males. I remember when I was pursuing the music along the way people would confuse me or play devil's advocate bringing up the sex industries as opposed to the successes with eg guitar or literature. A story I actually remember was I went t...
Read more