You're telling me no one knew this was going on for this long? Or watch as I get isolated insulted and drugged up for the rest of my life for having integrity. To be punished for doing what I was supposed to.

 So I cracked out cleaning the office this morning. Anyways briefly I was thinking how evil the world is and was (& will be). Forgot my story because of drugs or distractions. Some of it was like the short hand story of Jeffrey Epstein and another was Harvey Weinstein or P Diddy. So that was like maybe explaining why I didn't get married? Or you see the grossness and evil of the married couples? Don't you? Adultery. Swinging. Exclusion. Disqualification. Lies. Power. How many people just say I am crazy and condemn and abandon me for doing what I was supposed to? Was I all alone supposed to stop the president or the sex trafficking? What am I Batman?

How many times do I just get taken to the side and reprogammed on what I am allowed to do? Nothing I can do about it by myself. See the lunatic musicians who have to poop and get loaded up with tattoos for pointless causes.

You see those evil people get away with that for life don't you? Petraeus Clinton Epstein. Didn't Trump literally do the same exact thing and also furthermore get away with it? My understanding was Epstein got killed in jail so he didn't even have to do time so he basically got away with it. He did that for his entire life and got to enjoy that hedonistic pleasure with out any real consequence. Like a kamikaze? There's countless Epstein users who don't seem to have any real punishments. The people I said were wrong. When I first noticed these things no one helped me or stopped it. The doctors the priests probably the rabbis too the muslims the blacks the minorities the others I rattle off the professors the police the teachers the faculty the social workers politicians lawyers democrats. If you do or say anything about it you just get told you are crazy and isolated and forcibly drugged up. No reward or benefit from doing the right thing. In fact you get punished for doing what you are supposed to. To be honest you'd probably get treated better to my ignorance if you did do the wrong thing and not confess or try to help or be moral or ethical. You're telling me no one else got caught but Epstein? These people conspire and get away with that forever. I get damaged and unpaid for my efforts. The best I got was to find out to be told to just be a miser for the rest of my life like Scrooge or else worse poor service basically. No other answer. Okay?

What is there to do? Be like Charlie Kirk and essentially accomplish nothing? To be the butt of a Jimmy Kimmel joke and nothing more? Remember when people were trying to kill me?

So it's like people I have had to deal with. Remember when it was all the black men and the interracial sex? So far as the president making that mandatory and the videos being amateur and shared online for free. How boring and hurtful they were. I got nothing out of that. Who else? See the list of people in power abusing their power. Professors priests police doctors teachers social workers captains generals sergeants military. To prey on the sick. The politicians. Lawyers. Democrats. And another to my ignorance the lawyers lie and aren't ethical they are selfish and evil and immoral. They deceive us. How many times has it been some disgruntled veteran who sues for benefits and gets a full ride to become a lawyer and essentially do nothing for anyone but themselves?

And that story the politicians get paid better then honest hard working men like entrepreneurs. They'll figure out how to rip us off. Where's the reward for our hard work? The politicians can come up with scams and frauds that never get stopped. You get paid better following political trends then you do doing what you are supposed to. I was so naive to think other wise. You hear of the democrats taking advantage of our system or cheating the rules in their favor. You say I am a scammer for being disabled and retired. What else am I supposed to do? No one will pay. Everything is spirit breaking. So you see the mechanisms the politicians use on the every man the common man the working man. Haven't you heard me debunk getting a job? No one will hire me. If I get the job they'll screw with my family through me. The complaints of the non disabled workers saying I am double dipping. I make more money on disability then having a job. No on will give me part time work. Also it interferes with my schedule. My parents are my caregivers and my lesson is I have to revolve around them otherwise we are both basically immediately screwed. People will try to get me fired and screw with me for working. Then it's people who take advantage of the system and go further the lawyers with egos.

So was I smarter to just listen? Was I smarter to get comfortable complacent and happy with what I did have? Food in my belly. Allegations mysterious women throughout my life had my babies and at least some of them would turn out okay. Too much pride to actually try to get a woman and too many barriers like the moderators disqualifying me. Remember the nightclubs? Remember university? Remember TRADOC? The list goes on with this service. Then all I can do is scrape by and survive. So to be ok with being single? There's interactions with women. I can focus on business more. I am free. I don't have to worry about her infidelity because no one will help me or my family. I can continue to support my parents and brother basically by being a disabled veteran. No other option. If you work all the effort basically is canceled out by others so you don't really prosper at all.

So am I now just too old to get married? And then the renegades who try to do anything about it get martyred. Remember Gene Hackman? Didn't he marry a younger woman and try to live happily ever after? He did the movie Enemy of the State by the way. But didn't he get basically murdered without any recourse as to who did it? Awfully fishy right? And how many people out there harassing me? The mentally ill children of divorce. The laundry list of enemies I have. Things apparently other people knew would happen. But no one could help me. No one gave a damn about me and still no one gives a damn about me. The doctor just harasses me. Turns the screws on me and has me start spilling my life story personal life and personal thoughts immediately. Reminders of hospitalization torture. I couldn't get help with my student loan. Then there's a muslim man and specific gamer friends of my dad's who go through him to get to me. That reoccurring story some stranger in the background plotting against me remember the poor military orders telling me to walk on an IED because I didn't get my bonus to pay my student loan? Literally explained as because I was funny because I was told to smoke drugs before leaving for no other option but the Army and my parents lives in danger because you can't get paid in America I was borderline criminal while the actual drug dealers using their drugs to take advantage of women got to stay back and enjoy the American freedoms while I was in holocaust scenarios. Remember getting kicked out of the Army? Remember the list of people screwing with my brothers kids. His son won't look you in the eye for more a split second because of his peers and parents harassing him. I am not in 20th century Asia. See changes I made.

So maybe I just did the best I could. To remember lessons from my grand aunt. It was like I'd rather not have some heart breaking divorce or I'd rather be alive. One short hand summary for this was Keith Richards. That being he was punished and victored over the wrong many times and he's alive and doing well. Despite little trivia bits about him like his parents divorce but there's the other side with the founding bass player Bill Wyman whose parents were married and the little back door excuses of where to stop at. People always trying to ruin everything.

Didn't I make it to where now I am a good candidate? All those things I tried to improve in my life that by the time I did now it seems to be too late. Penis erection virility insults. More disqualification. The list of things people do to veterans. Being treated like the amputee veteran homeless sitting outside in the cold begging. No one cares. No one can help. No chances given. Women won't give me chances. My lesson is if I try to talk to women in public I get complaints and police called on me. The social gatherings are already staked out by the club owners or the social workers or the other conspirators the police the blue collars. I missed my chances because if I didn't anything else I would have been firmly put in my place with murder or suicide etc. That's America.

Guess what your marriage probably won't last. Who do you think you are fooling with you education or pretend job? I did what I was supposed to and was martyred. Maybe some day I'll get paid for doing what I was supposed to. So in this passage my perception of reality.