I've seen other military families watch their loved ones regret not having the guidance I got to begin with. Apparently avoidable problems. (In short I smoked BEFORE the Army not AFTER). Also that story getting sucked into the military because of the opportunity. So unpuzzling my sometimes by others intentionally misunderstood decisions.

 Catching up? Some dealing with which ever lunatics. Being made political enemy. Not given respect for my political party alignment or political vote my free will or privacy. The rules changed and deals were not kept the unfairness and poor service throughout. Anyways what was I saying? And that story being so drugged up I forget all my material then get shut down through different tactics. Sodomy warnings. Social work logistics.

Lots of peoples conspiracies and premeditation. Is that just reality? There can be lots of people out there with malicious intent.

So why did I go AWOL? Well I heard what people said and stopped. Basically because of my past I was going to be doomed. So that was I did drugs in college and that was because the degree would be useless and the debt would be crippling. More explanations people didn't get. So college there was steroids and that was the drugs effect. Like athletes. Entertainment. So apparently I had borderline warrant status on me and was speculated by my peers that if I went to Afghanistan with them I would be hit with an IED and thus be an amputee. I wasn't initially given my Army bonus. I wasn't able to pay my student loan and as a result was getting put in a bad place and given more threat promises. And I was hit with different misdirections along the way. I failed my MOS initially because of me being junior enlisted with a bad track record as stated from my past explanation. My aunt who introduced me to education told me different things when I was a boy and I listened to her. I could be like John Fogerty of CCR instead of being a VFW guy with no benefits or lots of problems unresolved. Weed made me funny. Masturbation made me independent (and also avoid countless problems with women). So as always these things come out in chunks that people never figured out or understood. It can be hard to folow the story. It can be hard to see my perspective. Like when I was there for the origins of cryptocurrency. Things people can never figure out. Things I helped invent. Early social media. Or a reoccurring one for me was selling my rights and watching as the origin material is ruined but I get paid and can live off that which is more important to me than lost causes and spirit breaking customers and rivals.

Recapping? So I throughout my life listened to my grand aunt. As opposed to EG being sexually active I was more focused on real world problems. Getting into a good school paying off my loan  teaching myself skills getting into my US Army unit. So some of the profile maybe? Being a smoker made me funny and understandable. A writer gave me a career. AWOL gave me insurance on my legs and arms. Disability gave me a seemingly guaranteed paycheck for life.

So there's the story of JD Salinger. Well I was on my way at school when I thought of my family and in turn rescued them. So that story a drop out. Enlistment. The goal of writing a book. Didn't I do all of those? And more? My movies my other recordings my albums etc. Now somethings dawn on me? So as a celeb lots of people can dislike me. People can slip things in my food like women's birth control. I can get rejected. People can be jealous of me. People can stalk me. People can harass me. People can make complaints against me even if I don't deserve them. As I always say 'that's how they always treat veterans'. I produced lots of my projects myself and had them released on my own with views.

So why didn't I get married? Well all along the way I was given no chance. At every turn there were men already in adultery scenarios over me. Then further more I had to worry about my parents and brother. I came home to being abandoned. After that all from there I was harassed by the doctors or social workers or police or other people abusing their power priests. So I just toughened up to the cold world. America doesn't like veterans. People trying to kill my family. Selfishness. Talking to women in public gets the police called on me.

Side story? So I thought musically what I was trying to do was basically the rosary. I didn't know the rosary until I was maybe 35 years old or so. So that was the back and forth or the unison. Involvement. Participation. Catholicism. So that was where I thought the rosary was like what the name U2 meant. Everyone involved. So that's that. New material? New ideas stolen out from under me? The evil entertainment industry?

Next? So what happened. Again being ahead of my time or misunderstood or even offending others. So here was it. I got a diagnosis and thus was medicated. Rather then get off my drugs or fight my condition I agreed to it. My lesson was in the real world no one will pay. That story death by grossness. So explaining that I get paid to take my medicine and go to my appointments. So I do that. Other things could've happened. I could've faced a firing squad? I didn't have a chance. I didn't really have any other choice. It was a natural unraveling of my life from the beginning with my grand aunt's guidance on my trajectory to present day. I respected her expertise and insight.