Why couldn't I just do my own thing? I had lots of releases without problems in the past. Does not my stories make sense again? So a disabled and retired content creator? Why can't you leave me alone? Am I special to be a independent caregiven veteran hobbyist under VA supervision (with married parents and a brother)? Can't I produce material still? Doesn't that make sense? Aren't I following the rules? Don't I still have freedom?

 A series I enjoyed was Entourage. Some of the muscle memory for me on that was I was on drugs when I first got into the show. So that effect it reminding me back to that and that unreplicable effect to be high or that mania. Ego trip?

So what was it? It was basically my like memories of my beginning? First releases? And that story in my opinion some of the first releases being the best and sometimes after that everything else not being that great. This Side of Paradise Beatles for Sale the Sun Also Rises the Catcher in the Rye to bring up the lost generation old material I studied. Old names instead though Bukowski? Dylan? But again early Dylan vs his later releases. RHCP? And that story the prolific successes.

But hearing do you only get one of those? One big famous picture? Or the prolific side. Eras.

But clearing things up. Now I have no interest in doing drugs aside from VA medications. From my understanding this is against the VA policies and the VA is who pays me so I don't want to get in trouble with that. That bottomline. If you need me to explain my drug history from the past I can. Wasn't there that whole entertainment industry of mediocre successes who used drugs I paid dues on? Nightclub music. Obvious names Willie Nelson substance abuse stoner metal smokers drinkers Pat Green.

So it was like the fun of being a aspiring up and coming celebrity. Before I made it. That was my job right? A artist. A poet. Fashion designer. Blogger. Lots of formats. But then all the barriers and attacks used by people along the way. The doctors power and loss of judgement his evil and his wrath. Stalkers. Conspirators. The Dr Phil episode. The children of divorced parents. Slanderers. Peoples politics and antagonizing. Corruption (that was a 2000s era porn DVD title). But my explanations? Bluegrass? Amateur? So it was like the life of whichever format it was I was doing? Writer actor rockstar movie star porn star director skateboarding entrepreneur designer professor photographer podcast host journalist etc.

Haven't I made it somewhat now? I released my own material. I got views. I did everything myself on my own. I taught myself. I didn't get in trouble along the way. I have a paycheck and can support myself. I learned from what I saw as others mistakes and stayed lawful. Aren't I a good role model too?

So more of it was I think Adrian Grenier who was Vince on the HBO show I think I saw how he got canceled. Also problems with the trash entertainment tv show I watched and avoided. So I think he had a movie Trash Fire about some relationship drama and another was a horror movie where if his video went viral he'd be killed. So that was Entourage just didn't keep going and going it stopped. But I did see there's a new series being released Ramble on with some of the actors from Entourage.

In hindsight. Maybe disability complacency is smarter and obviously a safer bet? It seems that my releases were shut down before proceeding to next steps due to insurance or laziness or spirit breaking or excuses and explanations etc. Got distracted writing. Harassment.

You see how I make sense don't you? There was criminal things going on too. Harvey Weinstein and Jeffrey Epstein. To do what I enjoy for a living? To be a hero. Etc.



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