Hear me out. If this is the lesson. So why couldn't I just move to Germany and have sex with prostitutes for the rest of my life? Isn't that what the military does?

 Catching up. So I don't really try talking to women. My lesson with that. I don't want complaints made on me and police called on me. I like women. I am not shy or cowardly. Just conditioned by our society.

So thinking about women. I was punished for doing the right thing while others weren't and got away with that for their entire life. Bill Clinton. Petraeus. Trump. The list goes on. So there's issues. What if she has a student loan? What if she needs to see a dentist?

Our country doesn't really solve these problems in humane or fair methods. I basically had to be a Egyptian Slave under sexually privileged abusive leadership while I got nothing. All that time and energy lost. Apparently everyone knew the job was to get farmed out and squandered and marginalized. What reward came out of it? Well eventually I got a secure paycheck. But now that does nothing?

So am I from another planet the things I think or say or have learned? Prostitution is illegal in Virginia. I don't want to be cheated on. What if the woman has a man with power over her? The teachers? Her boss? You see where I am coming from? Am I now to old it seems? 

My parents don't seem to approve of my being promiscuous. My dad has endless friends who go through him to antagonize me. Why couldn't I buy a quality guitar? Why couldn't I seek flings with different women? Why couldn't I have chances with women without breaking the law or going off on wild goose cockamamie true stories? 

Why can't I get a chance? I have a paycheck. But I just get paid to shut up and give up. No one really cares about me or believes me. Furthermore as I came to know and have stated for over a decade America doesn't like Veterans. I got home and got placed with the Vietnam veterans. Also all along the way people seem to extort and abuse my family like my mom or dad I assume. So I was a fool to have tried to do things the right way. I just get paid to be told I am crazy.

There's people out there who want to slander me and get away with that permanently. I can't do anything about it. Then the police make things worse with always treating me perpetually like I am a criminal. What have I done? Honestly? Then more of that is having psychotic enemies from the past. Being able to pinpoint specific lunatics from the past harassing me without consequences.

So why can't my family be okay? Why is my dad shown death threats from strangers? Why is my mom racially antagonized? Why can't I do anything without immediately my families lives in danger?

So these things I thought were normal are not. I prioritize my parents over my EG sex and fantasies. Yes I liked my creative pursuits but also I found reasons to stop and holes in the examples stories being reoccurring. So is this a leak? Well I have sworn the government and others are stalking me even making an example of me and going out of their way to give me poor service. What for? Why can't I lead a normal happy life?

So all the people who have divorced parents that demographic or people out to get me. And as stated protecting myself in these relationship scenarios. There's no protection in a relationship. A prenuptial will not stop anything. I have no problem committing and following through it's just not my fault. So it's not as easy as buying a puppy. The dog sort of can't ever leave me as long as I take care of it. A woman can ditch me immediately see upgrades and temptations. How many times have I seen women give me a little interest but weren't they with other men? Isn't that a lesson in itself? If they'll do that to those men wouldn't they do the same to me or worse?

Why couldn't I graduate? If I could pay off some of my loan why couldn't I pay off all my loan? Oh yeah my responsibilities and obligations I had to my family. I didn't want my parents or brother killing themselves. I listened to warnings or threats. Is that just reality? Then after I did pay my loan there was student loan forgiveness which didn't seem fair since I had to spend about three years of my life in the Army.

Why do I always have to go last or not at all or not get anything? Why can't I get rewarded for my hard work? Why is the whole system always corrupt and unchanging? Why can't things work out?




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