I don't want to lose my house over a relationship that was doomed. I am optimistic thinking of women but also cynical thinking of domestication. What can I do now? Live a long life like Steve Ditko because I scraped by as a conventional realistic artist?

 Catching up? So here was some of the vibe I got. The older men who got with younger women the women can seem to turn on them. Cheating. Giving them suicidal ideations like walking to a creek by yourself and contemplating killing yourself. The infidelity dynamic repeated. 

So yes I'd be fine with getting married and starting a family. But it doesn't seem that easy. It's not like my dog where he'll be mine forever and nothing ever really happens. So see how I got to the scenario in the first place? Obligations? I wanted my parents happy alive and married. There were other opportunities that I missed thusly. But back and forth about that hearing that EG college sex would end entirely.

So am I dying by pride? See not wanting to embarrass myself trying to strong arm something with the women. It not necessarily being in my favor as much anymore. So letting thing pass me by each time. Maybe be thankful for how many may have happened in the past? What am I supposed to do? It seems like things are out of my control. Everywhere I go it seems like if I try to talk to the women there's the looming threat of getting complaints and police called on me.

Is this back to sex and promiscuity?


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