Because of Hugh Hefner and his porn empire and legacy I have a addiction to porn. I didn't want to get attacked so I cooperated and masturbated before. Sex seemed troublesome too. As a former guitarist (masturbator) I thought I could do well for myself alone and independent.
I learned that pornography was an answer. I didn't know in Germany prostitution was legal and found that one too. I masturbated lest I be annoying or troublesome. I am a veteran and can't escape the grips of porn.
Overseas they told me if you don't go to the brothel they'll jump you or lock you in a locker. I didn't fight it. In Virginia when I had broken my masturbation habit I was threatened with violence if I didn't start jacking off. So again I assimilated.
Porn has been a part of my life since childhood. Masturbation seemed to be safe. There were guitarists (masturbators) who I referenced who lived a long time. I got used to being on my own and not needing anyones help other than the VA.
There's military in Germany still using prostitutes right now and probably will stay that way forever. It seems like it can be a lost cause to go against the grain. The porn seems helpful or easy and accessible. I thought sex work was a career like others and I thought of being promiscious based off my own failures and realities and lessons learned.
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