I have a somewhat skewed view of sex that has been adjusted before. Let me explain. On the one hand wanting promiscuity on the other deep loyalty to bonds made. Did I always get favored? A independent artist. Sex lust and moderation.

 Ok so at one point I was ultra conservative and morally upright. I was being monitored in the US Army and taught EG sex was only for babies or a family. More would be never doing things the wrong way always refusing to do it wrong so attraction?

Next was letting go a little bit and being shown it's okay to have sex. So that was more of my liberal and free spirited belief. Thinking that sex was natural and now I was in a good position for it.

Another angle was being desensitised from pornography. Thinking of ergo variety where one was never enough always wanting more. So more of that was in the media being shown promiscious men.

So I guess I wanted to stay single I thought. Oh explaining myself. So I didn't want to have adultery committed on me. Or I was overseas and the way of life over there was different. I got to go to France or the red light district. I got to live in Wurzburg and Schweinfurt and Munich. In the Army I was around these godly men who were seemingly with lots of attractive healthy women.

I'd see the sexually active leaders and inch my way towards that but get distracted with other things like non negotiables my parents life and marriage or improving my life. I thought sex was like VCU with freshman year or being on campus in the city.

More was I wanted it because I could listen and not want to get martyred. When I was in the entertainment industry circuits with the night clubs I'd think I don't want to do that that way or all the way or I might listen to the sex work people like the old porn store the MVC hearing about how I could be sexually active.

But was sex like cigarettes? Medically being saved from that. In actuality some of that stuff not being worth it. Just problems and back to the drawing board again.



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