blake uptin

 the philosopher poet's professors corner so here is the conundrum if you will the entire thing is just smoking like you are having a good time and you think what could make this better or what exactly it is and then it's vulgar drug user imagery so what really is there there's christmas morning there's the waitress bringing out the salsa first there's having a car that doesn't need maintenance but after all that what really is there how can you get high on life well there's dungeons and dragons and the casinos too so who has the balls the guts the tenacity and in some ways actually the stupidity and ignorance to do the drugs and participate in the illegal black markets what's the point you'll just go to jail to listen and heed others warnings about what is promised to happen but don't you miss it when it was cannabis and what ever else it could've been how do you recreate that or relive that without getting substance abuse troubles thus wher...

i am very glad my family and i have gotten involved with the catholic church i feel like it is a very good habit to reinforce despite at times being lazy we've been going to mass every sunday consecutively i think this might be more than two years of that for me i go to confession once a month too also what's really good is my mom gets us to do the rosary when we're driving places and that cleans and helps my soul so i also will pray for other people too all that stuff can be very good for the family too i am charitable i always pay the poor box when i go and i'll also buy a candle and light it then once a month i'll donate to the food drive a modest portion um i feel like this stuff really helps others and myself too and i am thankful to be where i can afford to do that i think the catholic church could help too with my parents marriage to reinforce that i'll say the prayers at sunday mass i refrain from alcohol these days i am baptized and officially accepted ...

 these days during my retirement and disability in luray i enjoy painting fantasy rpg minatures what i've said is i like dungeons and dragons but i don't game or i like the rolling stones but i don't like heroine so really getting lost in some of that so a day starting up get out of bed shower then have some caffeine maybe a pureleaf tea bottle um before lunch if i am lucky squeeze in a segment to paint a miniature afterwards storing it in the display case till that fills up then having containers for them to spend the day with that focus and good behavior the feeling of progressing with it the addiction to it the pleasure and joy from it completing them and having a track record of success enjoying the stories about the figures or the different things to daydream and fantasize about the explanation to stuff in the dnd universe how fun the game really is but not wanting my dad to end up like gary  gygax all the opportunities in the game the open ended story the imagination ...

 a new goal i'll have to do is actually following up with my art projects instead of for example getting lost on the computer all types of distractions surveys reviews blogging shopping so reminding myself not to do that and put time in as a painter and artist to use my art supplies and not make mistakes on my works using my sketchbook and really coming up with something smart and cool like a time seeing a copy of the last supper someone did and donated at am vets the humor and taste um so finding and making time to actually do this not just giving in so when i wanted to follow up with painting my miniatures and actually did regularly logging some completed figures to my tumblr and still doing that having time for different capacities of hobbies guitar recordings video editing lots um acrylic canvas paintings photography blogging so during office hours being able to do my art projects and enjoying the fruits of my practice the finished stuff the compilation of art work at my house ...

 seeing different artists styles could be very entertaining for example when i was around the art school students at vcu or other times seeing different formats for different artists guitarists directors photographers comedians writers drug dealers addicts painters to name a few so one thing i remember that how i handled it i feel like may have been better for me but it was seeing people get foods whether that's deli fried chicken wings or pizza that level of 'showmanship' sort of to be a little slovenly and cool (hearing rembrandt was immersed in fun and lazy stuff) the reason i didn't was because i was thinking about the money and how i'd afford everything like the student loan i paid off so there could be other stuff too when things seem ultra competitive or when there's miserly methods employed to focus soley on hobbies to find ways of saving money and coming up with more for projects guitar strings a camcorder different equipment to utilize and actually fol...

 the way of the poet despite censorship to be a 'banned book' um the holy mission and integrity of continuing to produce content to face the stigma of being an artist and make it through to a greater future and even collab with others on new projects so to do something like get dropped off at subway by my parents then after eating walk back to my parents business suite on the second floor to enjoy the bohemian ways the townie style to do things different to not be so cookie cutter and generic to be original and lively being miserly and supporting the hobbies i enjoy stocking up with groceries staying active with my parents business in the background when i'd answer phones during the weekly meetings overnighting up here and having my travel bag suitcase with me in the basement so not being so american at times to be unique not watching cable and instead doing other things with my brain and staying fresh with new ideas so painting artwork painting miniatures making short film...

 the decor so the staging the look of it um to think of many good references and apply that to my housing style um to think of different titles used during that soldier student producer writer painter hobbyist poet artist director photographer so to think of the dorms the coziness the access to a walkable campus the being around others being near the cafeteria and the professors office the school stuff learning education getting skills in life knowing how to find parties and fun and opportunities being there coed stuff the barracks so all the junior enlisted being by the chow hall the being near your friends and coworkers being at different duty stations germany georgia um getting your room set up with beginner stuff computer civilian clothes getting comfortable a recording studio so the lounge too the cafe having caffeine sources and doing it yourself to save money having internet and a artist setting being able to produce new material coming up with new content and different form...

 so here's some of why we are not friends um here's one i add someone on facebook but there's no replies or interaction ever or another one people using me for something so all these extra people can now just seem annoying and useless also i don't need to pay for someone elses stuff in addition to how i am currently charitable with the food drive and the poor box regularly so also noting how much things completely changed as an adult no more public school and hanging out it doesn't make sense it's not like it costs extra to be responsive emails and comments and social media appear to be free so what's the point of keeping the 'dead weight' friendships around how hard is it to actually meet up i have so much free time to think how much potential there is i could do countless new projects i have my smartphone my camcorder my cassette tape deck recorder just to name a few how easy would it be to just schedule something hell what if we did a sleep over t...

ok so here is one getting taught how to think for yourself so to teach free will or opinions or judgement it seems so difficult and then there can be trend setters who others just copy off maybe they're over worked or complacent to not start something i think this may have been a lesson from a professor i had about how you should be able to draw your own conclusions and take care of yourself um so there can be all types of factors involved the confusion of stereotypes to just see it reoccurring and no longer be naïve some people can try to be dominating with their personal opinions another would be people can stigmatize you for different reasons um so when a situation presents itself how exactly should we react and then what's the right thing to do there can be for example racist things that people think that could be true you could find yourself hating black people and also loving black people different things that can get mixed up or not prejudging someone based on other thin...

 the fun of the hobbies so getting into painting miniatures here's something i like the rolling stones but i don't like heroine another was i like dungeons and dragons but i don't game so how much fun that is to get lost in progressing full time with interests guitar there's recording cassettes and day dreaming about celeb stories another was doing acrylic paintings and storing those until maybe some day selling them um to use my sketchbook when the time is right and jot down some cool stuff so the hours to keep weekdays some business hours at the suite with my parents my art studio station the desktop computer space with internet regular reoccurring times spent at home in luray my miniatures desk where i'll paint some minis throughout my free time to get into that hobby haze that glaze of a stupor to have a fantasy the daze of experience points or leveling up to see my residence stylish and to accumulate completed projects that are visible signs of what i spent my ...

 considering getting healthy so what all that entails here was what i admired it was lair hamilton the independent pro surfer his lifestyle so he'll train and i watched a documentary on him and was entertained with his devotion and discipline so one thing i thought of was 'juicing' there were times where i'd make healthy shakes to use a powder maybe milk and then fruits and vegetables and gulp that down it'd really help my health especially if i stuck to it instead of just being easy going another was the weight lifting so i'd use free weights i also have a bench press in my garage that i'd use to doing some repetitions of exercises and trying to get stronger what my dad said that could be a good idea was if i looked into getting myself an exercise bike so think of my heart and cardio one thing i'll do is i'll walk to my parents i used to run more and do that year round even if it was cold some of that was from my military training where i was expose...

 to get a little older and fatter so some of it was the side effects but how comfortable it was having some snacks and just being out of it to enjoy my retirement so the dynamics like being frugal and getting many cool groceries and being self sufficient how easy it is to fall into putting on a little bit of weight the food is right there it's so accessible and easy it's legal it's tasty it's fun to be disabled and snack here and there the other stuff 'night eating' um the cravings for salt or sugar so now that i am a little bit out of shape not skateboarding anymore not finding the time for the exercise as much being bed ridden at times or being cozy and lazy going to the store and stocking up lately either walmart or food lion the deli option and other stuff the fun of it the brands the marketing amy's being a family company wanting certain stuff like pickles um noticing the difference between the generic and the name brand saving money and watching my bud...

 so here's one i think is a good part of a 'presentation' it's the beverages so to think of that like having sodas with other people or other many options milk coffee tea (not getting into the alcoholic stuff anymore) um that being a nice relaxing thing to share with others to be stocked up at home so to think of like a tea party where there's the nice snacks and hanging out being social having a nice conversation a discussion to keep things moving so having the plates and stocking up on stuff to entertain others with that good time the formality and ghettoness too as an american enjoying the nice options out there and the different settings morning lunch afternoon dinner late night and other options to pair it with vinyl or bluetooth with the internet amazon music cable tv the desktop computer station some insomnia the refreshing splash of fluids and other nice flavors sports drinks gatorade and having the choice of getting some snacks peanut butter crackers cheese...

 i can't take care of myself sort of and other conclusions my parents can get paid to be my caregiver and i can avoid getting sent back into the military so getting help my mom cooking us meals having a cleaner at my house um being at the office suite here is basically my logic listen to the warnings don't find out stay on the safe side a story i remember was a guy at the dc va saying he had all his benefits and was partying then he got aids and hooked on heroine and became homeless so believing that can happen so things like not gambling not playing dungeons and dragons um not doing substance abuse no drugs no cannabis no booze anymore (it'd cause me to overdose i believe) um no sex and things that can go wrong with that garnishments divorce a prenup so it'd be a little like what i saw the neighbor do a old guy who stays home all day maybe watch some cable or have an assistant to help um the hermit lifestyle so deducing a lot of the people outside fort belvoir are prob...