my wild free crazy 'bohemian' days appear to be completely ended and thus unbeknownst to me i have become rather 'institutionalized' since when i first joined the army at 19 all the rules and regulations to abide by i am broken

 i am institutionalized so some of where this started when i was 19 years old i went and enlisted in the army since then i have been a part of the system even as a veteran my life is lawful and orderly i have to follow the rules and there's no crazy stuff to really do

i don't do substance abuse anymore though i have my legal prescription meds for mental illness i don't gamble also for fear of consequences debts another would be i don't really have any sex i may masturbate but that's about all and there's troubles with all the vices as i've said in other posts

i am uniform now i get my hair cut maybe every other week some times i wear office attire i go to my appointments that i've had since the end of being a teen ager when there was formations in the army all that rigmarole to be obedient

i have to submit to a doctor i am no free and in control of my own life i have moderation there's the psychiatrist and the caregivers my parents so being regulated being supervised instead of others who seemed to as predicted immediately spiral out of control and that not being worth it instead better off heeding the warnings and rules

i get paid from the veterans affairs i don't really have any friends anymore or any connections really i am all alone except for my dog and my family i am not a rock and roll singer full time or other daydreams though i still have my hobbies that i love

i respect the president of the united states i even vote though mostly or basically always republican um i have to eat and also there's side effects that reinforce that i don't really skateboard anymore i obey a normal work day schedule up at 8am readying till ending at 5pm



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