a little bit about my health issues getting treatment for fatty liver blood pressure schizoaffective disorder or mental illness

 ok so to be reasonable i'm not like a super unhealthy guy it's just that i am now on a lot of drugs which are difficult on my body so how'd it happen um there's the 'cocktail' of drugs i am on and the side effects being hungry and getting fatter not wanting to end up like others i saw

ok so my rationale was 'being american' that's sort of just the way it is um so being easy going and not fighting it doing stuff like having fastfood occasionally or driving my car instead of walking (and reasons for that too like not having the cops called on me)

so the mental illness stuff um hearing voices and being loopy from the meds being sedated being drowsy um being on high doses and feeling like i could die in my sleep any day now is it covid is it poor health feeling like i could exhale and just die right there

so being alone having supervision that help being moderated having my caregivers so and my military benefits the good side to everything um having family elsewhere um taking my medicine as prescribed that helping to treat my condition

mental illness masturbation social security disability um stigma going along with my hobbies staying productive um hearing of other 'crazy' people i admired to be a goofball in some ways um doing the best i can from here and hearing of others who died recently my dad's childhood friend who what i said was 'he died of eating too much pizza'

how easy it is to happen food is such an easy and accessible drug it's legal it's unhealthy um not fighting it just being easy going um the gold rush chicken sandwich at roy's kfc fried chicken macaroni and cheese combo um all that stuff adding up and weighing on me



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