sharing some entertaining thoughts and explanations with some privacy too under a pen name
things i appreciate this is sort of like a thanksgiving what i'm thankful for um taking time to savor the great parts of my life also some tv shows i'm interested in catching up with
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my family so my mom and dad my parents them caregiving my mom prepping meals for us my dad mowing my lawn my brother when i'd walk over to his house in the suburbs my brothers family his wife and kids the nice times i made episodes for the nesbitt series my dad's siblings their seeing them aunts uncles cousins
my car doesn't need any repairs in good condition working on paying it off with the loan it's nice to be able to take myself to places i have to go like the store or church
being retired and disabled it's nice to be able to do what i want to produce hobbies having a paycheck
my dog he's nice and loves me good companion to keep around bring him on trips to alexandria or walk over to my parents house i like animals
my portfolio online the whole releases i've shared
having paid off my student loan the huge stress relief of getting caught up on all my banking and money and having had that opportunity
my longterm housing having a mortgage on a good home to live in a nice mansion the furnished and staged look here
being independent by myself
so some of the tv shows i wanted to watch adventure time californiacation entourage boy meets world um what else hey arnold maybe the simpsons um
It now dawns on me that Jack Kerouac actually made a lot of sense. So let me begin. I use the VA for my benefits and follow thus rules. Thus I have found at times I can be bored out of my mind. I can't smoke weed and on my meds I can't drink anymore. So what's left? I can jack off occasionally I have video games I have a dog. I live near my parents who are my caregivers. So I can go shopping I can do surveys. But the fun of youth is gone. Maybe I should stay positive and optimistic. I get excitement out of dad hosting his weekly game nights. The party is over. No more freshmen year of college. No more starting AIT in TRADOC. But maybe things are still going along? There's still writing and studying.
Ok let me explain. I don't want complaints or to get kicked out or to have the police called on me all of which have happened before and I don't think I always deserved that. So moving on. I will censor this to avoid setting off admins my intent was not to be offensive or hurtful. Starting off explaining some of this goal in mind was EG I was basically sent to the German brothel. Another was growing up I'd always see these males who were successful with multiple women (before finding out about deal breaker trivia about them) like Jerry Seinfeld John Lennon (Beatles but there's tribute groups as a loophole) Anthony Kiedis (RHCP) the Entourage show Californication or the adult content on the internet those free videos and samplers during my teens. Another jargon on this was logistics things not lining up for reasons like adultery or there were issues in my life I have had resolved somewhat like getting out of debt or having a paycheck. I was a new kid in a town and thing...
Was what i actually wanted to do be sexually active? But going back when that stuff was available there were always issues like housing income passion (even family obligations) etc. Another part would be in general the issues with logistics see the men with power over the women cutting me off like the government the school system the military the work force etc (complaints and police). So was I the whole time actually just trying to be promiscuous (but how many times did the references on that stop doing what they wanted like David Bowie or Anthony Kiedis EG)? I didn't know sex work and still haven't learned that much. For example prostitution is illegal. So I have tried the paid pornography and that seemed to show normal sexually active males. I remember when I was pursuing the music along the way people would confuse me or play devil's advocate bringing up the sex industries as opposed to the successes with eg guitar or literature. A story I actually remember was I went t...
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