was the nightclub pointless or was it a toll to keep my freedom and other parts

 so some of the big successes from the nightclub i didn't get arrested i got footage posted online there were two championship victories i stayed alone i owned a property so after that what got in my head was others statement that it's a gay and jewish industry and i'd never get in so hearing that and maybe some truth despite it being mean or uncensored or potentially incorrect so basically little progress from the begining start off drinking weekly and have a crowd picture then later get a video and in the background the washington dc sports the redskins the nationals the capitals the wizards football baseball hockey basketball um i think it was also a way of staying retired and disabled as opposed to the military when will that ever happen again 

mentioned concern for old friends at one point from prior to enlisting in the us army so the drug worlds and that gray area before the bureaucratic changes of the alleged legalization

so what was the real goal was it like a casino floor precise and business focused um what was the real next chapter after that currently um second guessing vinyls um so what was next um maybe medically getting steered out of the continuing shows rhcp strokes coldplay maybe skip those um what to fund charity food for my belly um necessities the dog is it just the same as other hobbies where it somewhat amounts to a waste of time after it all but too the good times 

so to today what has come out of that um one was i paid a few times for the ian mackaye movement that being the straight edge stuff so i still don't do illegal drugs (though there's mental illness prescriptions) um countless names of people referenced lots of celebs mostly music though other nights some other stuff theatre movies so moved locations um remembering the charisma of bartenders and their providing and presentations um i think i may have been in a somewhat bad awkward place in the beginning where my regular drinking helped coast me back into a great spot and move on 

um digesting the past so maybe thoughts on the slight hearing damage or maybe was this like the law suit that got me to my freedom in a way (odd directions unknown of the systems) where that meaning basically pay and go free so not getting in it over the money because that's the rules so that story being i am glad i got through that part of my life to today

the other part my mortality thinking of these live good times and freedom and excitement as opposed to potential victim sodomy or the recklessness and earlier lifespan coming with that being wild and having fun as opposed to facing hard facts of reality unmarried unreproduced dependencies um 

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLU02hU0sb5j4DkBpPgNTZKV2h6nkhSruo



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