some of my heroes and about that the categories and the spirit broken assumption of indie projects or something how long that'll last

 so harvey pekar is pretty cool he reached his goal of becoming famous and doing something he enjoyed sort of according to the paul g  movie but some of that according to the movie he was neutered or lost his testicles for a surgery that part sort of broke me on it another was i didn't want to work for the veterans affairs hospital and start from there i stuck to my parents and have a mortgage for now but the other side was all these veteran celebs thinking of that like as a purpose rationalizing um there's that as full time 

hmm i'd think of some modern people such as

• directors spike lee james cameron stephen spielberg quintin tarantino marty scorsese francis copola wes anderson but some of the directing was after having tried to be an actor wanting to watch and study the product so there's like clint eastwood too or humphrey bogart or paul reubens (the guy who did pee wee herman and as usual another trivia of difficulty i think he got caught masturbating at a dirty movie theatre)
• guitarists some of that stretched out and elaborated on paint i black so keith richards bob dylan al jardine richard lloyd of television roky erickson of 13th floor elevators lee ranauldo of sonic youth then other subleties the richmonders iron and wine municipal waste gwar but other things no tattoos um rhythm lead singer songwriter vocals that stuff open mic but that's repeating some of it um undead john lennon josh klinghoffer kepi g without the tatt lots of those john f without the tatt 
• painters so the visual of like the immersive life without that painful parts hunger early death outcasting other stuff also not being typecast from here so ungay andy warhol rembrandt claude monet picasso the group of famous paintings um those rock and roll compilation of paintings were cool ronnie wood without the touring etc um insurance just some names though todd mcfarlane 
• producers irwin winkler though not having lost mom um the source stuff stretched out like donations effect on the community or other background business to the media content when i wanted to do collabs 
• veterans clint eastwood elvis presley bob ross the lost generation (fitzgerald hemingway salinger) james dickey salter um jimi hendrix willie nelson kris kristofferson tolkien adam driver scotty's gas station tops in blue drew carey ice t 
• writers henry miller franz kafka pulp um john waters but maybe that's lots of ghost writers scifi um the fun of all that stuff like interesting lifestyle but me sticking to va caregivers and helping parents for the future gary gygax 
• partiers public affairs disc jockeys local personalities um radio or tv hosts tv journalists stephen colbert jon stewart fox news mtv news kurt loder pauly shore danzig 
• hallucinations the whole picture to this stuff like other details going on too um not as much the social life but other things like first publication releases or the cult stuff from writers even chelsea manning with the wiki stuff those great narrations 
• pornographers hugh hefner larry flynt manual ferrara but like i said a lot of like not this part like not being paralyzed to a wheel chair forever
• disabled ones phil dick or irvine welsh but like things set up and feasible man do some of those like mind explosion orgasm 
• my mom and dad thought how to have that go well and how i could help 
• male actors robert pattinson joseph gordon levitt others but as stated fault finding joel osteen https://www.imdb.com/list/ls040996178/ 
• misc extremely wealthy extremely successful um tom cruise john travolta tom brady joe biden business owners legends folk heroes 

so my hero would be these people who are prolific and have awesome careers about their goals they don't lose and they continue um and not having the injuries i don't like being stopped by police i don't like paying lawyers for plea deals um i don't like not having a paycheck i don't like not having a place to live i don't like not having food to eat i don't like leaving my parents i don't like being ostracized 

the dream so i guess i thought i could make a lot of good content and enjoy what i did um capturing the excitement while also there's social workers but not getting in troubles drugs um

so this summarizes some of this i wanted to not risk things and stay meeting my needs mostly so here's the property i sold so basically avoiding wraths again um thought pessimistically do the best i could that being a reoccurring theme i wanted to do this then got sent back to what i tried to guarantee as a pay source so there's daydreams i had about projects to do then other people strong arming me or having me cornered into circumstances so also despite incoherency aging dementia and the musicians then all the other titles of these things so that to the georgia story and lots of aholes 

i have hobbies that i still can do and in the future i thought of my parents my brother and different dead ends so with my capabilities i was underground um apparently backstory schematics and offenses then other peoples requests or negations etc everyones feelings 

so me being my own here some things to account for 

• not leaving my parents um there's a family business my support 
• having my own place to live um 
• the part of being stopped then started again incoherency about directions why continue playing guitar or why stop doing that 
• budget 
• and as stated the 'hobbies' i was doing with others intentional and abuse no reason why 
• so that's retirement and disability and a mortgage at the end of that and insurance and meds 

so i predicted staying with my family helping me until things sort of dilapidate and arriving at survival like the old crazy guy i numerous times mentioned meanwhile back stories with rising action and hints or foreshadowing