fearful motivation more content

lots of instagram content

planning next projects in studiobinder

lots of livejournal 

a studio

grossness mom and dad brother then the rest 

costco stock up

semi is it ptsd 

survival 

benefits addiction

upcoming surveys walmart

reading and summaries to today

indents bulleted unpunctuated 

bathing charging phone

background drama department theatrical parents the harvard neighbor 

where do i live in the future how do i keep going what about my family 


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Can someone help with an answer to this scenario? Is this feasible? Should I invest my energy in something else instead? Was instead I meant to have a guitar legacy? Was I tricked and niave? It seems like countless others get away with this and do it the wrong way.

 Ok let me explain. I don't want complaints or to get kicked out or to have the police called on me all of which have happened before and I don't think I always deserved that. So moving on. I will censor this to avoid setting off admins my intent was not to be offensive or hurtful. Starting off explaining some of this goal in mind was EG I was basically sent to the German brothel. Another was growing up I'd always see these males who were successful with multiple women (before finding out about deal breaker trivia about them) like Jerry Seinfeld John Lennon (Beatles but there's tribute groups as a loophole) Anthony Kiedis (RHCP) the Entourage show Californication or the adult content on the internet those free videos and samplers during my teens. Another jargon on this was logistics things not lining up for reasons like adultery or there were issues in my life I have had resolved somewhat like getting out of debt or having a paycheck. I was a new kid in a town and thing...
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Was this actually to my niave innocent ignorance a extremely stupid idea?

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 I'll tell you my story on this one. I got stationed overseas. My unit and I were about to deploy to Afghanistan. I was in debt from my student loan and reclassed from my MOS with my bonus. My peers basically told me I was going to become an amputee very shortly. (there's also a little bit of similarity to this and the Adam Driver story too). My unit covered down for me and basically asked what I'd be okay with. I basically got instructed to go AWOL (previously I saved up all my money to pay off my loan with by only eating at the DFAC chow hall) and I did. I first bought a guitar and then used my savings on hotels. Previously another trivia bit was there was a ad in Ft Gordon for Smart Piggy and it said there were high interest rates I had some money in there before cashing out. So while AWOL I recorded what happened to be about the exact amount of a vinyl record in addition to other extra recordings for another album. I was very proud of this album but maybe now much later...
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some of my quotes i remembered compiled extracted from fb (that doesn't work)

  i am happy i am not in jail i am happy i did not get jumped don't be annoying if you can make sense of nonsense you might make some sense there's probably a pretty good explanation to everything here's what you can get away with (i think this is from a state trooper telepathy meeting of the minds) it takes work to do the wrong thing you can't steal it's not possible some keith paying the homeless always paid me back there's good druggies they're not all bad with sex once you've seen one you've seen them all i had to do numerous parts for the band after eg loss of brian jones founder um nothing is funny nothing is funny ever like white women the cops are sex offenders the only place you can get paid is the military i don't want to lose my miltiary benefits and disability paycheck there's no job you can keep you'll lose your job etc the way you get out of jail is you get the cop laid also you pay your attorney the holocaust...
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