blake uptin

 so what's there to do on the internet well you can message others and stay in touch or plan and coordinate then there's shopping for certain clothes (for me not footwear) other stuff maybe better off doing in person um there's looking at different sites events or companies so the internet with access to everyone from where i am at a frozen generic breakfast sandwich for starters summer popsicles tea for caffeine getting on the computer um sharing my content blogs videos reviews manuscripts so the same picture again the air conditioned suite today with my car outside in the parking lot and the rest of the neighborhood how many times have i walked those streets to get something inside with the dog my parents doing well my smartphone with me too in case i can get a picture or post something during the rest of the day so what can we do there's coffee there's pizza there's the dog park for fresh air or walking to the shopping center there's music acoustic guitar...

 so here's something i remember being a good time there'd be me as a kid at the park with my parents and brother there'd be times where people were playing horse shoes or volley ball but it'd be a nice social activity with maybe a barbeque or carry out food and everyone having a good time so with that i am trying to find ways of stretching out the outdoor cooking with socializing and reasonable activities while another layer being being aware of 'military suffering' and addressing that or others who maybe troubled like when there's someone deployed keeping them in our heart there's tailgating with the fun of the sports the football season so i use gwar and think of them being like kiss (gene simmons) to get people to understand some of it more um i'd think of the entertainment the homemade stuff and do it yourself projects that work like a audience gathered and making new bonds new friends new connections and even too with business or freedom and fun...

 so looking back i remember how wild i was and how good of times i'd have the chemicals being released in my brain so there'd be marijuana to smoke beer to drink porn and masturbation all those things on top of my dream to create these projects to be a actor like the people i saw in movies to write a great book to make iconic music albums these delusions of grandeur during that era i tried gambling not that many times i had semi highs from it but i sort of mostly felt like i was losing the whole time um then there's gaming things like video games or dungeons and dragons so addictions that are fun and happy saving through a campaign experience points leveling the party good days with snacks too what is not too dangerous or other downsides like being illegal what am i still allowed to do what can elicit that state of madness or euphoria remember the old parties and other times while also too appreciating the moment being thankful for all i have my house my car my dog my paren...

 the days with the learned stops on it all strangers in public no more cigarettes anymore changed man always looking forward to another meal boredom caffeine daily routines road life with a travel bag for a few days the next project ignorant and foolish the comforts of a paycheck a prescription medication haze the same landscapes from the region getting through virginia in the backseat too my good friend my dog the poodle sober entertainment the year goes along good shoes on my feet  not as much live music anymore a fantasy and going into the future each day little progress on the portfolio parked car the parking lot from the suite window the rest of the earth my parents helpful supervision the city tonight bored and alone the humidity and the rock and roll endless celeb tales of success

 non full time seeing others the art dude so maybe passing a little bit of judgement thinking i'd be better off on disability or following the rules or a critique of the mentality to the display so doing it still as a hobby and staying in the background with the family so when i have some time producing up some new stuff to draft up whether that's a movie manuscript or a home movie or other stuff the genius behind it and the creativity too using supervision not being inappropriate or liable to troublesome circumstances so the moderation um when i wanted to become a pornstar or heeding the warnings about va marijuana um so not being offensive or foolish keeping my benefits so some art phases my current one i am dubbing kid art that roughness and the previous incomplete influence some of the white space so the childishness jean-michel basquiat so then other times the dc bar stuff the ghetto the funny the immature or the table talk the poster affect the rock and roll the realism ...

 ok so i am retired and disabled but i still get paychecks so some of that um i insure the pathway to staying alive for mil other stuff um i publish content that is from my expertise so that can affect the general consensus about stuff and radical new ideas so sharing accessible quality material with some citations to the past generations i use a few different formats painting miniatures canvases sketching writing blogging photos videos guitar piano vocals so making media for others the basis some references to big pop culture names and other ones so some of the romantic eras relived and copywritten the past masters so names like stan lee jd salinger henry miller bob dylan shakespeare clint eastwood claude monet rembrandt spike lee tiger woods these lives works their portfolios so not focusing on exaggerated histories instead the different stories a little paranoia with later censorship too not knowing what the original stuff was before the editors and others input and changes so s...

 two fat butchers my mom comes here it's in front royal (on our way home) the meats i've had that she cooked were really good my favorite was a sausage that she added to a box of zatarains (there were some other winners a steaks chicken hamburger um bacon i think we may have gotten hot dogs here i think pork chops too) also so more would be i like some of the intellectual stimulation that sort of came with it like my parents have 3 outdoor cooking items they use a traeger grill for smoking a oklahoma joe's propane grill and a blackstone griddle so it's like easing into the future and days lounging my parents just up the street from me on their porch and them prepping foods that i'll eat and clean up so there's burgers we had um breakfast meats with breakfast um chicken (the skin on the full bird was good there's other cuts too like i think we've had breast meat) one time i went in and got a few things i liked it was macaroni salad potato salad and a crab...

 so here's some of my concept continued on the better built american community so another influence i may think of is walt disney's disney land amusement park so some of that being hotels nearby (a truly perpetual vacation) another was the different activities to do within walking distance all the things offered the food court or the rides or the shopping but so in reality making it more realistic and accessible too so there's the public transit as a source of getting out in public getting that to run on time (overseas the train being right in the city munich) and if it's social at all things like the metro being picturesque too a walk that looks like a painting or poster um so drawing up the map of everything and integrating in some larping live action role playing (different interactive things ways of finding work or quests and less stresses in life more freedom and fun and liberty) so the festival vibe the outdoors cartoony clothes and stylish uniforms a home hearted...

 ok so first i think might be kevin so some of that was first the rules so it being forbidden and against my parents wishes but then like the novelties the skateboarding as a teen the excitement of public school so back then um didn't seem like too big of a sexual predator (i actually think i only saw that not that many times but enough to remember it) his story seemed to check out and i think he was like living a normal american life (later thinking george bush jr affected people like a party animal reputation before) later i think he had kids um just the on blast age so my friends parents house his room and the other stuff there he decorated the band room so getting stoned maybe a favor to be introduced to weed from many people a direction to an easier life um not that criminal seeming andrew so seeing a drop of his life was insane to me so some of that having a car and having lots of connections (riding along before all around northern va even like woodbridge) for smokers a lot ...

 all you really needed sort of was a sound check so who ever you are even for the 'riff raff' folk whether that's something like tattoos or a criminal record (how many people know someone who did maybe the intial 2yr sentence or worse) other stuff drug users there's an answer for you (saw the subhumans are booked at black cat) and also for other clientele the different traits to accentuate so some of that would be like when i went to washington dc for music um endless famous people as an artist paying these people and learning from that experience so what ever your background really is having things presentable see editors or censorship or the presentation (being appropriate and acceptable for the public performances) so your personality on the big screen on center stage but then too see the prominence of the lgbtq community for some nightlife and other communities different tunings and requests for the actual crowds so getting things ready for the public your image you...

 so some habits these days caffeine tea or coffee (no toppings) um those throughout the day my car in the country for doing pick ups um my parents porch the 'backyard bistro' um college lit to read (famous names) or study self teaching (and projects and hobbies) um but the olden times and how lively and cool that was to truly understand gwar (the theatricalness the 27s the rock and roll) the activities and being outdoors um getting sunlight and air album covers pop culture references role playing fantasies um scifi anthologies compilations seasons television so little things that have substance like when people could enjoy a video game console (watching others play mortal kombat or other franchises bethesda games skyrim) the following with bill gates xbox 360 those games and times saving and progressing um walking next door to my brothers house (friends over longboards) the social media online posts groups forums days with the phone in bed in a drug haze things approachable for...

 so a little backstory when i was in public school we had cable that was really good during that era so i'd learned of who willie nelson was he was openly shown basically as a big stoner (even despite it being illegal then a concept that confused me see rhcp as open illegal heroine addicts) um so i did get exposed to drugs back then like smoking what was said to be marijuanna um later on some of it may have been directions too for how and what people wanted with entertainment or an opportunity temporary that was there that i didn't miss  um so the station has this type of country music that i really enjoy it's old school new country basically seems like uncharismatic trashy racist white people as opposed to the classic old timers with charm and pretty pictures um names like hank snow buck owens names that when heard from keith richard or bob dylan they show something like the country music done right another was hank williams sr um that time enjoyed another era the 1940s to...

 so i think one thing a colleague mentioned to me was that there are vices so basically i think there's substance abuse gambling and sex addiction and from there you have sort of pick one though i have healthcare which may protect me from some of the harsh roughness of some of those so how does it work how does it actually happen how does it go from a thought to a reality um for years i'd seen that i thought my life was somewhat inadequate for that like being worried about making it in life where am i going to live what will i drive how will i get paid so those being huge barriers also there's the long list of things i wouldn't want to happen not wanting to get her pregnant not wanting to get divorced or married not wanting to a disease though thinking it through hiv seems not too bad but aids sounds horrible so to play devil's advocate it does sound fun the endorphins in the brain from the act to get laid to get your rocks off um but then too other commitments when...

so here's where i am at there's one side of me where i dream up me being like a celeb in some ways see different people who were prolific and known in their particular genres painters guitarists actors directors etc (but too i do many formats) but then there's the other side threat promise warnings or seeing what looks like the answer afterwards so some of that being the 'assimilated' ones so there's the neighbors who look like veterans with cable tv and years of that um so what'll happen um i enjoy my hobbies but then too having seen others made example shocked to see that in later years tony hawk got tattoos um though there were others who i think didn't like steve caballero and lance mountain um is it time to quit and focus more on settling down don't skateboard don't longboard don't ride the bicycle don't get the cops called on me don't get a complaint so in the mean time days passing hobbies to do but till how far one day will it...